My father was always somewhat of an enigma, we didn't even call him dad, we just called him Norm. I mean how many people call their parents by their first name? Even our friends called him Norm, it wasn't "How are you Mr. Lowe", it was just, "What's up Norm?". Nothing can brace you for the loss of your father, even if you know it's coming...Even if you've known it was coming for 8 years. Before I left on this trip, I knew that there was a very high likelihood that he wouldn't be there to greet me when I came home; The sinking feeling that when I hugged him goodbye, that time would be the very last. But this isn't a time for me to be sad, it's a time for me to be happy, because my father was in pain and wanted nothing more than to go peacefully. And thanks, in large part to my mom, sister, and brother, he was granted that last wish within the comforts of his own home.
Norm was the most unconventional parent imaginable, I'm absolutely sure he didn't raise us by any guidelines that are socially acceptable in any culture. He used to make us weed the front yard of our house for hours and in return we either got $5 or ice cream; And of course we chose ice cream, which costs like $1, meaning he paid us 30 cents an hour. His sense of humor was no more mature than ours. One time all the kids randomly started waking up in the middle of the night and gathering in our living room...so what did we do? We sat around and made up songs about having diarrhea, "When you're sliding into third and you feel a runny turd, diarrhea! (clap, clap) Diarrhea! (clap, clap)". There was the time I was arrested for underage drinking and my father's only words to me were, "Not so good, Mr. Sean". We never had the talk about the birds and the bees, although I did get a few anatomy lessons, very much against my will.
There's probably some sort of number, I think it's clearly supposed to be 0, to describe the amount of times you and your father see each other's penis, but our number was a glorious 4. In grade school, we used to play king of the mountain on the snow piles and one day a schoolmate fell and his boot landed right on my unit, causing it to become bruised, which freaked me out. As a doctor, Norm elected to check it out and informed me that I didn't have a broken penis, and all would be ok. Considering this is the man that chopped off his finger and then duct taped it back on, I probably should have gotten a second opinion. I showed him mine and he showed me his, like the time he got a catheter installed and nonchalantly decided to show me the entire hookup, penis included. Not once did it cross his mind, maybe my adult son doesn't want to see my penis; To him that was no different than talking about the weather.
His sweet tooth was legend! I think all children are forced to sell chocolate bars at some point during their childhood, so when you have 8 kids in your family, chances are high there's going to be a box in close proximity. During a road-trip in our Suburban, Norm was in the mood for some Caramel bars. It started out with a simple gesture of him reaching his hand over his shoulder, but after 3 or 4, we were like, "Norm, you cannot eat any more of these candy bars". So what does he do? He opens the glove box and pulls out a king size Snickers and tells us that if we don't give him another chocolate bar, he's going to eat that instead. He must have coaxed 4 more caramel bars from us with that tactic before we finally said no, but just to spite us, he ate the damn Snickers as well.
If that wasn't enough, he bought a box of ice cream treats to share with me and Bryn before every Bulls game that was on TV. These could be ice cream sandwiches, drumsticks, ice cream Snickers, etc. The three of us ate an entire box every game, and there's 82 games in a season, not counting playoffs. How I don't have a cavity, I will never know. He would go on crazy kicks like that, just like how we had to watch every Jackie Chan movie that was ever created or get a Filet-O-Fish sandwich every time he went to McDonalds.
He was a man full of advice... that he never followed. "Always save 10%"; Never once did he save 10%, I'm not sure he even saved 1%. He was also brilliant. He could have gone to college when he was 12, spoke several languages, graduated with a medical degree from John Hopkins and a Business degree from Harvard. He was talented enough to be a professional painter. He was outrageous. He bought a YMCA and turned it into our home. I mean that has to be the most ridiculous decision a man can make, we a had a basketball court and held Prom there.
He was eccentric. He had a secret room in the house filled with guns and rations in case of a nuclear apocalypse. He once spilled formaldehyde all over his body and just started driving home, like it was no big deal. He used to barbecue food over giant oil drums, and when he was almost busted by the cops, he claimed it was a Chinese oven. The cops not wanting to get in trouble for racism, let him off the hook. He was generous. When he got sick and was no longer able to work, he actually paid another pathologist out of his pocket to take over his work at the hospital. He lost money, because he paid that person more than the hospital was paying him, but to him it didn't matter, because it was the right thing to do.
He was full of pride. He would never let you win, you always had to earn it. We used to play basketball when he got home from work and one night he just destroyed me like 80-12, he wouldn't give me anything. I was so pissed off I didn't go to school for 3 days. I remember one time we played chess and were both down to two pieces, so I just wanted to call it a draw, but he kept making me play for 30 more minutes, until he finally beat me. He always fought until the end. Even when he was given a terminal diagnosis with cancer, he never let it win, he just kept going, continuously outliving the estimates they gave him.
He was a trickster. He had us convinced that a family of ducks lived in our attic and told me that the town of Cedar Rapids was called See the Rabbits. I mean, what benefit did he get from making his children dumber? There was also the time that all my siblings called me Dumpster Dave and told me I was found in a dumpster. Does he tell them off? No he joins in and says, "When it came down to you, we threw away the baby and kept the placenta." He always loved a good laugh, especially when it came at the expense of someone in the family.
There's so many other random things he did, such as his weird tai-chi strength. Like when he was pointing something out while driving and his finger went through the dashboard or when we were getting rid of our ping pong table and he just grabbed one side and kicked it in half. I mean, who the hell does that?!?! There was the time he spilled an entire bucket of paint all over himself and made us wash him off with a hose so our mom wouldn't find out. And he had the weirdest internal conflict about enjoying to hear from his kids, but simultaneously hating to actually talk with us over the phone. I remember in college, I had a phone conversation with my dad that lasted over 8 minutes and afterwards I immediately went to talk to Bryn, because that had to be the longest conversation he had ever had over the phone. 99% of the time I talked to him it was a 30 second roundup of, "How are you", "Great", "Hey listen, it's been nice chatting with you, but here's mother".
Though he wasn't the most talkative person, I will always remember the advice he gave me and perhaps more importantly, I will hold close the things that he didn't tell me. My father never told me that he was disappointed in me, he never told me that I had limitations, he never once doubted that I was capable of doing anything in this world or even this universe. He didn't tell me I was crazy for quitting my job or that I was throwing away a promising future, he was just happy for me. Regardless of what decisions I made, he was always happy for me, always proud of me. How many people like that do you meet in your life? Surely far too few.
My father's favorite saying was that if you're hungry you should eat, and if you're tired you should sleep, so after a long and extraordinary journey, it's time for him to enjoy the eternal slumber he's been putting off for so long. Our only hope is that he rests in peace. I love you and I miss you already, but I will never, ever forget you...Goodbye Mr. Norm.
I'm not going to say this is the greatest blog ever written or that I'm the most attractive man alive, because both of those things go without saying, but what I will say is that I love to travel... And sometimes I forget to wear pants
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Airlie Beach and Whitsundays
After all my camping, I was ready to relax and not drink in Rainbow Beach for a few days, but I kept running into people. On the first night after my Fraser group left, I ran into an English guy named Greg that I had shared a dorm room with previously, so I ended up drinking with his tour group. A German girl in his group told me I have the softest hands she’d ever felt, softer than any girl's. Universe 12,347 - Sean 0
The next night, Fleur and Simon, from the previous night's group found me eating alone and told me to come join them, people are too nice :). Thus my commitment to not drinking was sidetracked as I returned to the table with a pitcher of beer, much to their amusement. I also ended up in the same room with an English couple I had stayed with in Noosa. Every night I shared a room with them I was the last person to get back, I can only imagine what they thought of me, I mean other than my feminine skin and undeniable charm...
I also got to see some compassion in my final days there. A girl woke up crying in her bed, because her boyfriend broke up with her via text message, so another girl climbed down from her bed and offered her a hug so she wouldn't feel so alone. I would have offered her a hug as well, but I was laying in my bed, wearing only underpants, so it probably would have been weird. It's not always the grand gesture, sometimes it's just the small things that can turn someone else's day around; A little bit of kindness can be a powerful thing. In order to escape the unspoken hatred of men that had to be brewing in that room, which other than me, contained only women, I forced myself to work out for 3 straight days and get my body into bathing suit shape for my Whitsundays trip!
My trip to Airlie Beach was via an overnight bus, so by the time I got there I was disgusting. When I hopped off the bus, I randomly spotted Alejandro from my Fraser group, so I caught up with him before setting off to find my hostel. I got there at 9 am and was informed I couldn't check in until 12:30, so here I am after a 14 hour night bus, sweaty from lugging my bags across town, looking like pure shit, roaming the city, putting out the vibe. When I could finally check in, I showered and then ended up grabbing dinner with a couple girls from my room, Brianna (Canada) and Carmel (England) as well as their friend Amanda (Finland).
After bumming around town for a few days, I bought some booze and ventured towards my boat, the Wings 3. I've never been on a sailboat, as they aren't very prominent where I live, 13 hours inland from the Ocean, so as soon as I stepped aboard one thing was running through my mind, "Fuck Land, I'm On A Boat Motherfucker"! (Lonely Island reference, drink!)
The wings cruise was the best tour I've done in Australia. It's so amazing to be pampered, all your meals are catered, including snacks, appetizers, and desserts; You don't have to do your dishes; And you can drink underneath the stars. It was a welcome relief after making all your food/doing your dishes on the previous tours. The first day we went snorkeling/diving off of Hayman Island and I discovered that snorkeling is my favorite activity ever. It's so cool to be a stranger drifting through a foreign world, swimming around in a giant aquarium. Plus the wetsuits you wear are made to be buoyant, so you don't even really have to swim, you can just be super lazy and float there. After everyone had their fill, we got back on the boat for some biscuits (cookies) before heading to the Nara inlet where we parked our boat for the night.
It was pretty cool, each night after dinner we could all start drinking and then we watched a slideshow of pictures from the day. There were 29 of us on the boat, making it really hard to interact with everyone, so we kind of ended up into two drinking groups. English, Irish, Australian and North American comprising one group and the rest of Europe making up the other. I spent most of my time with Andrew (Irish), Garett and Lindsay (Canadian), and Stu (Australian).
The next day we headed to Whitehaven beach on Whitsundays Island, which is the second highest rated beach in the world. The sand there has a really high concentration of silica, which is what makes the beach so white. NASA actually uses the sand from Whitehaven beach to create the Hubble telescope lenses. It was definitely one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen and I was able to set up a few time lapses while I lounged lazily in the water.
After we hung out on the beach for a few hours we sailed to two more spots, Luncheon Bay and Mantaray Bay. I lent the divers my GoPro so they could get some cool pictures of the deeper waters, but got it back once they surfaced to get some more snorkel photos/video. The bays were teeming with life, allowing me to get up close and personal with a giant sea turtle.
That night we gathered back around to review pictures, grab dinner, and polish off the last of our alcohol. We also had an appetizer of nachos and let me just say that eating nachos whilst sitting in a jacuzzi on a boat is pretty damn amazing, especially when there's a sunset in the background. I also had an excess of beer and cider, so I shared with my various boat mates to make sure everyone had an acceptable buzz. The next morning we rolled out to Blue Pearl Bay for a final snorkel, where I was lucky enough to see more turtles and even a sting ray! The ray was a little freaky because that is what killed Steve Irwin, so I was a little nervous about how close to get, but you only live once.
Some people have asked me to start adding video to my blog, so here you go. There's no preview, so I don't know how they'll turn out, but hopefully I didn't upload any of the ones of myself dancing and singing Party in the USA...not that there's 14 of those so far or anything....
The next night, Fleur and Simon, from the previous night's group found me eating alone and told me to come join them, people are too nice :). Thus my commitment to not drinking was sidetracked as I returned to the table with a pitcher of beer, much to their amusement. I also ended up in the same room with an English couple I had stayed with in Noosa. Every night I shared a room with them I was the last person to get back, I can only imagine what they thought of me, I mean other than my feminine skin and undeniable charm...
I also got to see some compassion in my final days there. A girl woke up crying in her bed, because her boyfriend broke up with her via text message, so another girl climbed down from her bed and offered her a hug so she wouldn't feel so alone. I would have offered her a hug as well, but I was laying in my bed, wearing only underpants, so it probably would have been weird. It's not always the grand gesture, sometimes it's just the small things that can turn someone else's day around; A little bit of kindness can be a powerful thing. In order to escape the unspoken hatred of men that had to be brewing in that room, which other than me, contained only women, I forced myself to work out for 3 straight days and get my body into bathing suit shape for my Whitsundays trip!
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| Airlie Beach |
My trip to Airlie Beach was via an overnight bus, so by the time I got there I was disgusting. When I hopped off the bus, I randomly spotted Alejandro from my Fraser group, so I caught up with him before setting off to find my hostel. I got there at 9 am and was informed I couldn't check in until 12:30, so here I am after a 14 hour night bus, sweaty from lugging my bags across town, looking like pure shit, roaming the city, putting out the vibe. When I could finally check in, I showered and then ended up grabbing dinner with a couple girls from my room, Brianna (Canada) and Carmel (England) as well as their friend Amanda (Finland).
After bumming around town for a few days, I bought some booze and ventured towards my boat, the Wings 3. I've never been on a sailboat, as they aren't very prominent where I live, 13 hours inland from the Ocean, so as soon as I stepped aboard one thing was running through my mind, "Fuck Land, I'm On A Boat Motherfucker"! (Lonely Island reference, drink!)
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| If i had a boat I would name it Elicious, so it would be referred to as being Boat Elicious |
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| Beautiful sunset |
The next day we headed to Whitehaven beach on Whitsundays Island, which is the second highest rated beach in the world. The sand there has a really high concentration of silica, which is what makes the beach so white. NASA actually uses the sand from Whitehaven beach to create the Hubble telescope lenses. It was definitely one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen and I was able to set up a few time lapses while I lounged lazily in the water.
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| Whitehaven Beach |
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| Someday I will stare at views like this from my front porch |
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| The Whitsundays are magical |
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| Such bright blue waters |
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| Never in my life would I have imagined I'd swim with a turtle |
That night we gathered back around to review pictures, grab dinner, and polish off the last of our alcohol. We also had an appetizer of nachos and let me just say that eating nachos whilst sitting in a jacuzzi on a boat is pretty damn amazing, especially when there's a sunset in the background. I also had an excess of beer and cider, so I shared with my various boat mates to make sure everyone had an acceptable buzz. The next morning we rolled out to Blue Pearl Bay for a final snorkel, where I was lucky enough to see more turtles and even a sting ray! The ray was a little freaky because that is what killed Steve Irwin, so I was a little nervous about how close to get, but you only live once.
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| Loving the ocean sunsets |
Unfortunately Blue Pearl Bay was our last stop, so we had to start making our way back to Airlie Beach, which was pretty sad, but the tour group had a table reserved for everyone at Down Under Bar for later in the evening. There wasn't a very big turnout, 3 of the French Guys, the 2 Swedish girls Emelie and Anna, Andrew, Stu, myself, and a few of the boat crew members. I knew I was in for a rough night when I'd already polished off a pitcher of beer before the third person from the group arrived. After getting some free drinks, which I'm 80% sure didn't actually contain any alcohol, we made our way to a dance club, Phoenix.
You know a club is legit when there's smoke machines pumping fog all over the dance floor at regular intervals. It was also here that everyone caught me making out with one of the Australian girls that worked on the boat, but as my life coach once told me, everyone has random drunken dance floor makeout sessions....sometimes I worry about her. After Phoenix we ended up heading back to one of the hostel bars, Magnums. At 2 or 3, I called it good since my bus left at 9 in the morning, but the Swedish girls kept going even though they were leaving at 7. Would I survive my hangover on the journey to Magnetic Island...Absolutely not, but that my friends is a story for another blog.
Random GoPros
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| Priscilla...This giant fish used to be a female, because there is only allowed to be one male per cluster, but the male died, so as the largest female she literally grew a pair and took over as the male. Fish are fascinating creatures! |
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| Such a colorful fish! |
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| I saw these fish everywhere |
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| I'm on a boat! |
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| Whitehaven beach, GoPro style |
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| I look increasingly worse in each underwater photo |
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| Point proven |
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| How cool is that?!?!?! |
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| Some corals only grow an inch every 4 years, which is roughly the same rate as my facial hair |
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| An amazing boat! |
Hungry Turtle
Fish Frenzy
Snorkel
Snorkel
Fish Feet
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
Noosa Everglades and Fraser Island
I decided to pack all my camping into one week as I tackled a 3 day self-guided tour through the Everglades, followed by a 3 day tour of Fraser Island, with only one day between for travel and rest. My Everglade trip left absurdly early, so I had to be up and standing outside my hostel at 7 AM, which is pretty rough when you usually wake up at 9 and then proceed to lay in bed until noon. My life is really hard, feel sorry for me.
After everyone arrived at the dock, we loaded up our gear into some waterproof containers and our food into eskies (coolers) before hopping onto a boat to cruise down to our starting point. There were ten of us total: Thierry from France; Roxy from the Netherlands; Marta, Marleen, Laura, Isabella, Hauke, Kim, and Patrick from Germany; and me. 5 men and 5 women...This was the type of respectable boy/girl ratio that was severely lacking in New Zealand. I paired up with Marleen because everyone else was creeped out by my Muppet Babies speedo.
Once we arrived to camp we had to set up our tents, so Thierry and I decided we could put a couple together. While everyone struggled to get all their tent gear out, the german guys (Patrick and Kim) had already assembled their tent...The efficiency of Germans is terrifying. Once our camp was set up, I got paired into a tent with Hauke, because none of the women would have me, something I'm sure they all regret!!! Since we had some time to kill, we went on a mini hike around the camping grounds.
For our first night, we all made our dinners, which ranged from legit (Roxy - variety meat pack), average (Theirry - spaghetti bolognese), to terrifyingly awful (Sean - beans on untoasted, soggy bread with a moldy orange). Roxy and I were also the only ones that came prepared for the trip, meaning we were the only two that brought booze. She brought a couple bottles of bubbly, whilst I brought a 4 litre box of goon. Now for those of you who haven't been to Aus, goon is basically the cheapest, most terrible boxed wine you will ever experience. There is no actual brand called goon as so many people are led to believe, rather goon is the aboriginal word for pillow, because after you have drunk your giant pouch of wine, you can blow it up and use it as a pillow. What separates goon from other boxed wines is the superior ingredients, most notably fish eggs.
Appalled that others may be without libations, Roxy and I were quick to share with everyone. The men also decided to take a late night canoe trip. It was amazing to drift underneath the night sky with the moon and stars ablaze, hearing the cool breeze rustling through the trees, and having the subconscious knowledge that you are completely free. After we got back, I decided to take advantage of being away from city lights and set up a star time lapse. I cannot describe the terror that consumed me as I sat there alone in the dark and listened to the the spooky ass noises coming from the surrounding woods. For over an hour, I sat in fear of what was out there, thinking of all the different creatures that could end me and then I ran back to camp like a little girl, jumped into my tent and curled up in the fetal position until the sun rose.
The next day we canoed upriver for a few hours to a spot where we could hike up to the Sandpatch. Once we got there, we found a sign stating the path was closed due to wildfires. However, if I pay a bunch of money to go camping and every path is closed, I'm going to say fuck that brah and keep climbing. Now ladies, I think it's pretty clear that my body is incredible, but after completing the 6 km hike, I wasn't tired, was still super excited/enthusiastic, and was hardly sweating, which led the women to question how I was in such incredible shape. My only response was that I'm a god damn machine.
That night we polished off the rest of the booze and ate some chips and snickers before convincing some of the girls to come out on a moonlight canoe trip with us. I ended up in the canoe with two girls and made sure I kept Hauke and that French bastard Thierry at bay! They weren't about to ruin the ratio I had going on. The next morning we went for a morning swim and hung out on the docks for a few hours before heading back to the starting point to get picked up and returned to Noosa.
The majority of the group was staying at Nomads, so we tentatively planned to meet there, depending on how far from our hostels it was. It was 3.3 km for me and 2.2 for Thierry and Isabella. The latter two passed on making the walk, but I didn't want to miss out on partying with everyone, so I made the journey. The bar had a free pizza night for people staying there, so Hauke slipped off his bracelet after grabbing some slices and handed it to me, allowing me to also get free pizza. There were also some bar challenges, a wet tshirt contest for the ladies and a wet jock contest for the men.
The ladies were pressing me to enter the competition, one even threatening to leave early if I didn't get up there. I'm not sure why I'm always the guy that people expect to take his clothes off in a bar, I feel like my life went wrong somewhere. However, no dudes signed up, so there wasn't even a competition. I did however enter the limbo challenge. I had no way of competing with the girls that were 5 feet tall (152 cm), but I was the last man standing.
I was only planning on staying out til midnight or so since I had to catch the bus in the morning, but the combination of booze and pretty women kept me out, so once again I ended up taking the long walk back to my hostel at 3 in the morning. I somehow awoke the next morning hangover free and caught my bus up to Rainbow Beach. I was fortunate to find that my hostel was right across the street from the bus stop as I was literally in the smallest town imaginable. It's really just a launching pad to get to Fraser Island, which is the largest sand island in the world.
Before you are allowed to go to Fraser Island, you have to watch some really important safety videos. We learned that the strategy for avoiding a dingo (wild dog) is to cover your nipples and slowly walk backwards. I wasn't too worried though, since I was born without nipples. The right one is just a green mole and the left one is a grape skittle that I sewed on in the 8th grade. After the videos we did introductions with our groups. We had the most diverse group of the bunch: Irish - Jamie and Marie; English - Leonie, Alex, and Anthony; Dutch - Nikki; Columbian - Alejandro; and village idiot - myself. That night we had a few drinks to get to know each other and Marie told me I look like one of the dudes in One Direction, while an English girl, Vicki, told me I was adorable, to which everyone laughed and told me I was already in the friend zone. I feel like the women of the world conspire to emasculate me as often as possible. Someday they'll look at me at be like, "Damn, look at that chest hair. That there is a man!". I'm only about $4000 and some hair plugs away from living that dream!
The cool thing about Fraser Island is that you ride in a caravan of four cars, with only the lead car containing a tour guide, so the latter 3 cars are all driven by people on the trip. All the vehicles were manual, four-wheel drive SUVs. Being American, I wasn't trained to drive a manual car, so I just sat lazily in the back and took photos. Before leaving we loaded up our rides with all of our bags and food/alcohol. All the food was provided, but we would have to cook it; Alcohol was BYO.
After everything was loaded and we went through yet another safety lecture, we started to head to the beach where we would catch the ferry to Fraser. It's a given that your car will get stuck and everyone will have to get out and push, but we were hoping to at least make it to Fraser Island before that happened, but everyone got stuck on the beach leading to the barge. Did I take my shirt off before helping push the car? Nope, I showed some restraint for once!
Once we got to Fraser, we drove along the beach where we saw an ominous amount of dead birds, jellyfish, and sea turtles, some of which had no heads, lining the shore. We also found a few dingoes roaming around, scavenging for some grub. We made a quick lunch stop to have some roast beef sandwiches and then prepped for the hardest driving of the trip, the route to Lake McKenzie. Knowing it would be brutal, we had our two best drivers (Alejandro and Jamie) handle getting there and back. I have never heard as much backseat driving in my life, but I'm pretty sure Alejandro blocked everyone out and acted like he was on a leisurely ride through town. Once everyone realized that this was child's play compared to the driving he did in South America, they still continued to backseat drive like crazy. However he just let his driving do the talking, as he didn't once get stuck, whilst the two cars behind us got stuck every 5 minutes.
We hung out at Lake McKenzie for an hour or so, during which our tour guide, Jimmy, who is a proper Aussie, started swimming the entire length of the lake and randomly popped up on the beach with a turtle in his grip. Once everyone had their fill of getting sunburnt, we made our way back to the camping ground. Jamie crushed the driving and luckily the other cars didn't get stuck nonstop, so we got back to camp in good time. That night we had to make our own dinner, but luckily Alex/Anthony didn't mind chopping and cooking, so they took the lead on making a killer chicken stir fry.
We also got a fire going, as we were staying on the only campground on Fraser Island that allowed them, and started drinking. We played a game where you blow cards off a deck and you have to drink one second for every card you blow over. I apparently have the blowing power of the wolf in the three little piggies story, thus I was often downing my entire cup of goon. Goon goes down easy, but it gets you way more f'd up than beer if you're drinking it fast at 9.5%. After drinking games, we hung out by the campfire, then a few of us went to the makeshift nightclub (an ipod dock hooked up to a stereo system in a hut). One kid was going around pouring goon shots in everyone's mouth and the three other Americans on the tour told me to find them in 30 minutes if I wanted to get high.
But eventually, Alejandro and I ended up back at our tent, where our fellow tent mate Sjoerd (Stuart), was already passed out. We were talking to a pair of girls in the tent across from us for about 30 minutes and I was the one driving the conversation, but I don't remember anything I said. Then I was sitting out there by myself and attempted to stand up, but immediately fell over as the goon had cost me the use of my left leg, I have no idea how it happened, but my left leg lost all functionality and feeling for about two minutes. I tried to stand up a few more times, but kept falling, so eventually Alejandro helped me up and I walked over to the woods and made myself throw up, an amazing decision as I had no hangover the next morning. We also learned of some interesting things that happened during the night. One guy woke up in his tent and thought he was at a urinal so he peed all over the girl next to him and their entire tent was covered in urine, one girl had a massive panic attack at 2 in the morning, and another girl threw up all over her tent. The goon giveth, and the goon taketh away.
After having some eggs and tomatoes for breakfast, we set out to the Champagne Pools to chill out and relax. There were some really weird sponge type creatures that would absorb water and then spit it out, as well as some smaller fish. After leaving there we headed up to Indian Head, which is a lookout point where you can see turtles, stingrays, whales, etc.
After catching the sweet views we grabbed some ham wraps for lunch and headed out to the Maheno shipwreck, which was a titanic type ship that was on it's way to get scrapped when it became detached and ended up on Fraser Island. To me it wasn't really that cool, because you couldn't go up and play on it, you could just stand there and look at the outside of the boat. I got a tetanus shot, let me roam that ship brah!!! Then we headed to Eli Creek, which is a stream with really pure water that you can drink out of...It is advised to take water out of the highest point in the stream as possible as the bottom is undoubtedly frothing with grime and urine, just like my underpants.
For dinner we had the world's smallest steaks and potatoes, which was pretty delicious, but big papa needs larger portions (Should I edit that last sentence and delete the fact that I referred to myself as big papa? ...Probably, but I won't). However, I came prepared for such travesties and busted out some mini snickers for everyone for dessert! That night we all sat around the fire and drank some more goon before turning in for some much needed rest.
However, I was awoken at 2:30 AM by what I can only classify as being a symphony of snoring. It was the most horrendous 90 minutes of my life, as I tossed and turned and tried to block out the absurd amount of snoring that was attempting to break the sound barrier. One girl also wet herself and consequently soaked the other girl in her tent as well... I guess you could say she... dampened the mood (Bwahaha pun times!). Being drunk on goon is a whole different beast than normal booze. I also found that both nights Sjoerd and I were sharing half the tent while Alejandro had a whole side to himself. I'm not sure if it was out of fear that Alejandro might be a Columbian drug lord, or if Sjoerd felt like based on my long hair I was woman enough to spoon.
The next morning we had some cereal and then headed up to Lake Wabby, which is a green lake made out of rainfall. It was a 2km walk to get there, which was child's play to me, but devastating for the Europeans, such softies! We also all got to witness Marie's extreme sunburn. I have seen some bad sunburn in my life, but she turned from white to the color of Satan in South Park in less than 48 hours. After getting annoyed with the bugs at the lake, we headed out for a final lunch of cheese sandwiches. However, we also had some leftover peanut butter and strawberry jam, so I introduced the others to the american classic known as the peanut butter and jelly sandwich aka the PB&J. It was a revelation to Jamie's taste buds and I'm pretty sure it's a permanent addition to his diet. It's the perfect snack....other than a smore, which Europe doesn't have the ingredients to make! I mean seriously, fellow earthlings, you are allowed to have graham crackers.
Once we got back into town, the first thing I did was update myself on the important news of the world: Yeti DNA could be linked to polar bears instead of apes and there’s been new discoveries of giant river monsters in Brasil. I also ran into three of the German girls from my Noosa trip, Marta, Marleen, and Laura, so we hung out and had dinner while waiting for their bus to arrive. Later that night our Fraser crew met up at the hostel bar for a few drinks and some karaoke. Sjoerd was pretty much an honorary member of our group at that point, so he joined us onstage for a ear-splitting rendition of Wonderwall. I hung out in Rainbow Beach for a few more days before heading up to Airlie Beach for a cruise around the Whitsundays, but that my friends is a story for another blog.
Group Photos
Random GoPros
After everyone arrived at the dock, we loaded up our gear into some waterproof containers and our food into eskies (coolers) before hopping onto a boat to cruise down to our starting point. There were ten of us total: Thierry from France; Roxy from the Netherlands; Marta, Marleen, Laura, Isabella, Hauke, Kim, and Patrick from Germany; and me. 5 men and 5 women...This was the type of respectable boy/girl ratio that was severely lacking in New Zealand. I paired up with Marleen because everyone else was creeped out by my Muppet Babies speedo.
Once we arrived to camp we had to set up our tents, so Thierry and I decided we could put a couple together. While everyone struggled to get all their tent gear out, the german guys (Patrick and Kim) had already assembled their tent...The efficiency of Germans is terrifying. Once our camp was set up, I got paired into a tent with Hauke, because none of the women would have me, something I'm sure they all regret!!! Since we had some time to kill, we went on a mini hike around the camping grounds.
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| Nature! |
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| Taking my nice camera out on the river...a little water won't hurt it ;) |
Appalled that others may be without libations, Roxy and I were quick to share with everyone. The men also decided to take a late night canoe trip. It was amazing to drift underneath the night sky with the moon and stars ablaze, hearing the cool breeze rustling through the trees, and having the subconscious knowledge that you are completely free. After we got back, I decided to take advantage of being away from city lights and set up a star time lapse. I cannot describe the terror that consumed me as I sat there alone in the dark and listened to the the spooky ass noises coming from the surrounding woods. For over an hour, I sat in fear of what was out there, thinking of all the different creatures that could end me and then I ran back to camp like a little girl, jumped into my tent and curled up in the fetal position until the sun rose.
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| This dude roamed our camp. Eddy the Lizard |
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| This sign was blocking our path... Too bad none of us could read... |
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| I'm still blown away by how green it is here, the landscape is so similar to America |
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| Sandpatch |
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| I won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted... Surrender to nothing! (Attack reference, drink!) |
The majority of the group was staying at Nomads, so we tentatively planned to meet there, depending on how far from our hostels it was. It was 3.3 km for me and 2.2 for Thierry and Isabella. The latter two passed on making the walk, but I didn't want to miss out on partying with everyone, so I made the journey. The bar had a free pizza night for people staying there, so Hauke slipped off his bracelet after grabbing some slices and handed it to me, allowing me to also get free pizza. There were also some bar challenges, a wet tshirt contest for the ladies and a wet jock contest for the men.
The ladies were pressing me to enter the competition, one even threatening to leave early if I didn't get up there. I'm not sure why I'm always the guy that people expect to take his clothes off in a bar, I feel like my life went wrong somewhere. However, no dudes signed up, so there wasn't even a competition. I did however enter the limbo challenge. I had no way of competing with the girls that were 5 feet tall (152 cm), but I was the last man standing.
I was only planning on staying out til midnight or so since I had to catch the bus in the morning, but the combination of booze and pretty women kept me out, so once again I ended up taking the long walk back to my hostel at 3 in the morning. I somehow awoke the next morning hangover free and caught my bus up to Rainbow Beach. I was fortunate to find that my hostel was right across the street from the bus stop as I was literally in the smallest town imaginable. It's really just a launching pad to get to Fraser Island, which is the largest sand island in the world.
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| Between South America, New Zealand and Australia, I have probably spent more time on buses than in my car this year |
The cool thing about Fraser Island is that you ride in a caravan of four cars, with only the lead car containing a tour guide, so the latter 3 cars are all driven by people on the trip. All the vehicles were manual, four-wheel drive SUVs. Being American, I wasn't trained to drive a manual car, so I just sat lazily in the back and took photos. Before leaving we loaded up our rides with all of our bags and food/alcohol. All the food was provided, but we would have to cook it; Alcohol was BYO.
After everything was loaded and we went through yet another safety lecture, we started to head to the beach where we would catch the ferry to Fraser. It's a given that your car will get stuck and everyone will have to get out and push, but we were hoping to at least make it to Fraser Island before that happened, but everyone got stuck on the beach leading to the barge. Did I take my shirt off before helping push the car? Nope, I showed some restraint for once!
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| Barge |
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| The wild and dangerous dingo... They're adorable, I want one! |
We hung out at Lake McKenzie for an hour or so, during which our tour guide, Jimmy, who is a proper Aussie, started swimming the entire length of the lake and randomly popped up on the beach with a turtle in his grip. Once everyone had their fill of getting sunburnt, we made our way back to the camping ground. Jamie crushed the driving and luckily the other cars didn't get stuck nonstop, so we got back to camp in good time. That night we had to make our own dinner, but luckily Alex/Anthony didn't mind chopping and cooking, so they took the lead on making a killer chicken stir fry.
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| Lake McKenzie |
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| Look at that smirk and chin rub! That's my kind of turtle! |
But eventually, Alejandro and I ended up back at our tent, where our fellow tent mate Sjoerd (Stuart), was already passed out. We were talking to a pair of girls in the tent across from us for about 30 minutes and I was the one driving the conversation, but I don't remember anything I said. Then I was sitting out there by myself and attempted to stand up, but immediately fell over as the goon had cost me the use of my left leg, I have no idea how it happened, but my left leg lost all functionality and feeling for about two minutes. I tried to stand up a few more times, but kept falling, so eventually Alejandro helped me up and I walked over to the woods and made myself throw up, an amazing decision as I had no hangover the next morning. We also learned of some interesting things that happened during the night. One guy woke up in his tent and thought he was at a urinal so he peed all over the girl next to him and their entire tent was covered in urine, one girl had a massive panic attack at 2 in the morning, and another girl threw up all over her tent. The goon giveth, and the goon taketh away.
After having some eggs and tomatoes for breakfast, we set out to the Champagne Pools to chill out and relax. There were some really weird sponge type creatures that would absorb water and then spit it out, as well as some smaller fish. After leaving there we headed up to Indian Head, which is a lookout point where you can see turtles, stingrays, whales, etc.
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| Champagne pools |
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| Just in case anyone forgot how awesome I am... |
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| Indian Head |
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| Maheno Shipwreck |
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| Eli Creek |
However, I was awoken at 2:30 AM by what I can only classify as being a symphony of snoring. It was the most horrendous 90 minutes of my life, as I tossed and turned and tried to block out the absurd amount of snoring that was attempting to break the sound barrier. One girl also wet herself and consequently soaked the other girl in her tent as well... I guess you could say she... dampened the mood (Bwahaha pun times!). Being drunk on goon is a whole different beast than normal booze. I also found that both nights Sjoerd and I were sharing half the tent while Alejandro had a whole side to himself. I'm not sure if it was out of fear that Alejandro might be a Columbian drug lord, or if Sjoerd felt like based on my long hair I was woman enough to spoon.
The next morning we had some cereal and then headed up to Lake Wabby, which is a green lake made out of rainfall. It was a 2km walk to get there, which was child's play to me, but devastating for the Europeans, such softies! We also all got to witness Marie's extreme sunburn. I have seen some bad sunburn in my life, but she turned from white to the color of Satan in South Park in less than 48 hours. After getting annoyed with the bugs at the lake, we headed out for a final lunch of cheese sandwiches. However, we also had some leftover peanut butter and strawberry jam, so I introduced the others to the american classic known as the peanut butter and jelly sandwich aka the PB&J. It was a revelation to Jamie's taste buds and I'm pretty sure it's a permanent addition to his diet. It's the perfect snack....other than a smore, which Europe doesn't have the ingredients to make! I mean seriously, fellow earthlings, you are allowed to have graham crackers.
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| Hiking with Jamie and Marie |
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| i either flex, jump, or am shirtless in all photos |
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| Lake Wabby |
Group Photos
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| The Everglade crew! |
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| GoPro at the sandpatch |
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| Lake Wabby photo |
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| In the lead car |
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| Full group picture! |
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| Taking a much needed break! |
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| Marleen did all the rowing...I mostly just took photos and looked beautiful |
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| Look at them abs making a comeback! |
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| Mirrors |
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| Lake McKenzie |
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| Champagne Pools |
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| Mini jellyfish |
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| Maheno Shipwreck |
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| Lake Wabby |
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