From Trips in Bali to Tripping My Ballsies

Since our monkey sanctuary trip went so well, we decided to go on a snorkeling trip to Turtle Island, which houses a turtle farm of sorts...  We got to ride there in a glass bottom boat, which was just a normal boat with a small Plexiglas window in the middle, but expectations should be in line with prices. The snorkeling in Bali was disgusting in comparison to Australia due to the thousands of kilograms of trash and debris floating through the water, at one point I saw a half eaten box of noodles floating about 5 meters deep in the water.  I'm not sure on the physics of how that is possible, but clearly it's not natural.  Rising water levels and flooding...Scientists usually reference global warming (climate change), but I'd have to think the displacement of water from all that rubbish plays a vital role as well.  I'll fix it all someday ;).

Glass bottom boat...not what I expected

Nothing wakes you up quite like swimming in the ocean...

After swimming in the soy infused waters, we headed to Turtle Island to scope the wildlife, but I was pretty disgusted to see how they were treated. Every creature looked more depressed than I was after realizing I can't download the Justin Bieber and Susan Boyle Christmas albums whilst on the road.  There was a turtle with a broken shell, a snake that's confined to a container, and isolated monkeys, birds, and bats, licking rust off their cages. All these animals were awake during day, even though some are naturally nocturnal. In addition they're not all solitary creatures, so seeing them stuck alone in such dire circumstances is pretty abysmal.  Whenever you think of bats or monkeys you think of them being in large groups, never alone like that, a cruel twist of fate.  The heart breaks and the head shakes, but no actions the world takes.  This was one of the rare travel days that I didn't enjoy.

That is one depressed turtle

They throw dozens of baby turtles into bathtubs 

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop...uh one, two, three (CRUNCH!)

This bat is actually quite stunning, not scary like I imagine most bats

This is how I sleep, naked and upside down

After getting back to the hostel, I decided to go for a run shirtless in the rain, because that's how I attract the local women and get goods at a discount. When I got back there was a little drama with one of the guests, who was being kicked out. The hostel had an age limit of 35, but there was an American lady there who was closer to 50. She put up a hard luck story about her situation, claimed that the cleaning ladies or someone had removed some money from her room, and hadn't paid for her accommodation for a few days. After getting told to leave, she was crying her eyes out, so a few of us pitched in some money to help her out or forgave her of the debts she owed them, the compassion of backpackers, being quite universally extraordinary. That night we also hit up the dance clubs in Kuta, where I learned that Indonesian Red Bull can eradicate any notions or need of sleep I once had.  I'm also convinced I need to attend Bastian's (Amsterdam) Dance Academy, kid has the dancing supremacy of Kevin Bacon and Patrick Swayze all in one.

In order to rebound from the Turtle Island experience, we decided to rent a car the next day and head to Kuta Beach and then head to a famous temple, Tanah Lot. We also discovered that the hostel owner had given the woman who was kicked out a generous amount of money to help her on her way, before she accepted our money, meaning she basically conned money out of us. Americans...This is why people have a negative connotation of us. Is it really that hard to be a good, responsible person? Ergo, I now tell everyone I'm from Canada City, Canada, and I say it with pride.  I fucking love Canadians!

When we arrived in Kuta, a few of the people in our group wanted to go surfing, which was made easier by the fact that Adam is from California, so he obviously knew how to ride waves and could give free lessons, so Bastian, Emma, and Becca (England) rented some boards to try and catch the waves. While they were failing miserably at surfing, Peppe rocked some juggling, Leo went for a swim, and I snapped a few pictures.

Kuta Beach

Surf's up bitches!

After grabbing a quick lunch, which consisted of the worst fish and chips my taste buds and lower intestines have ever been subjected to, we made our way to Tanah Lot. Timing is of the essence when planning a trip to Tanah Lot, because the temple is only accessible during low tide, due to the fact that it's built upon rocks jutting forth from the ocean. I was basically in seventh heaven in this place as there were several small temples/shrines and coastline views that were unbelievable for photos. There was even a bride getting her wedding photos taken upon the beaches there.

Amazing coast line and black sand beaches

The bride in white

Batu Bolong Temple

Tanah Lot Temple

Sunburst

Most of the group had to disband the following day, as most of the guys were headed to the Gili Islands. I was locked in for another night at the hostel, so I took a down day to catch up on laundry, buy some amazing neon green swim trunks, and finish cooking the remainder of my groceries, and inspire everyone else I met with my beautiful soul and devilish charm... Alright it's probably more likely I put them off with my clumsy antics and smelly farts, but this is my blog, so I can change history!  The next morning I took off to meet up with the boys on Gili Trawagan (aka Gili T), the largest of the three Gili islands.

I arrived at 3 in the afternoon, met with the guys and explored the hostel, then took shrooms, because I couldn't turn down Peppe's sales pitch, "We won't eat dinner until 8, so maybe we do shrooms and walk around the island since we have four hours to kill"...Besides, I was feeling young and reckless!  Thus, for the first time in my life, I tripped balls. Apparently the trick to doing shrooms (mush as the rest of the world calls them) is to consume them on an empty stomach, which worked out perfectly for me since I had skipped lunch. It's also essential that you are in a good mood when you do them, because they enhance your mood happy or sad and you definitely don't want a bad trip.

View from Gili T, you can see the other Gili Islands and Lombok in the background

Leo, Peppe, and I took the shrooms, while Adam and Bastian stayed sober to guide us through the experience. I have to believe that going to an unknown island that is bursting with colors is the ideal way to experience shrooms for the first time, but I'm incredibly self absorbed so I'm always going to believe the way I do things is the best way ever. You have no idea what's coming around the bend and Gili T only has one street that circles the entire island, so it's basically like walking through a video game level of Mortal Kombat or Street Fighter.

As we wound our way around Gili T on an epic quest to walk around the island in it's entirety, we ended up settling for a group of huts instead, about 20 minutes in to the 2 hour walk. They were amazing, with a giant cabana at each end and smaller ones in the middle. Staring into the sky on my left everything appeared to be a soothingly calm blue, clouds drifting into a distant horizon, while to my right, the smaller Gili Islands sprouted up before Lombok, the giant rainforest, covered volcanic island. Above Lombok the sky appeared to be a fiery red, clouds swirling in an abhorrent rage above the mountains. it was the most spectacular display of colors I have ever seen in my life.

Gili sky during sunset

As fascinating as the sky was, the sand, the cabanas, and people's faces were just as entertaining. Everything vibrates, shimmers, shakes, dances, before you. Time also moves at a slow pace, your mind racing with millions of possibilities and you want to experience all of them at once. You wonder what everything is like on shrooms; How much more amazing it would be, with colors more vibrant than you ever knew possible. Talking to anyone sounds exciting, like it would be the most amazing conversation of your life, even if you haven't talked to that person in years. I was unbelievably joyful, excited, interested, and enthusiastic about everything.

At one point I was sitting in a cabana by myself, licking the cheese powder off my fingers from the can of Pringles I had eaten previously, only to discover that I wasn't licking cheese powder at all. Nay, I was scooping sand off my feet with my index finger and licking it off instead. I also had a can of coke that took me over an hour and 6000 sips to consume, leading me to believe it was a magical never ending can of cola. I also spent about 20 minutes taking off my bracelet, which held my locker key, and putting it back on.

My shroom hut

Such a magical place, I'll never forget it

As they were starting to wear off, we headed back to the hostel room and then out to grab dinner, but not before I spoke creepily in my Gollum voice!  It's also weird to be walking around all fucked up and seeing children everywhere, makes you realize what a terrible influence you are.  All in all, the mush lasted about four hours and coming down was a nice and easy transition. I have to say that I'm glad I took shrooms, because some things can't be understood unless you experience them and for less than $18, that is about as entertained as you can be for four hours. I spent a few more days in Gili before spontaneously heading on a 4 day boat ride to Flores, but that my friends is a story for another blog...

Random GoPros

No docks needed, everyone anchors their boat in the water here

I believe this underwater path was created by the Dharma Initiative

GoPro Coast

Time Lapsing

Tanah Lot

2 bags of mush....

Me and the boys!

Airlie Beach and Whitsundays

After all my camping, I was ready to relax and not drink in Rainbow Beach for a few days, but I kept running into people. On the first night after my Fraser group left, I ran into an English guy named Greg that I had shared a dorm room with previously, so I ended up drinking with his tour group. A German girl in his group told me I have the softest hands she’d ever felt, softer than any girl's. Universe 12,347 - Sean 0

The next night, Fleur and Simon, from the previous night's group found me eating alone and told me to come join them, people are too nice :). Thus my commitment to not drinking was sidetracked as I returned to the table with a pitcher of beer, much to their amusement. I also ended up in the same room with an English couple I had stayed with in Noosa. Every night I shared a room with them I was the last person to get back, I can only imagine what they thought of me, I mean other than my feminine skin and undeniable charm...

I also got to see some compassion in my final days there. A girl woke up crying in her bed, because her boyfriend broke up with her via text message, so another girl climbed down from her bed and offered her a hug so she wouldn't feel so alone. I would have offered her a hug as well, but I was laying in my bed, wearing only underpants, so it probably would have been weird. It's not always the grand gesture, sometimes it's just the small things that can turn someone else's day around; A little bit of kindness can be a powerful thing. In order to escape the unspoken hatred of men that had to be brewing in that room, which other than me, contained only women, I forced myself to work out for 3 straight days and get my body into bathing suit shape for my Whitsundays trip!

Airlie Beach

My trip to Airlie Beach was via an overnight bus, so by the time I got there I was disgusting.  When I hopped off the bus, I randomly spotted Alejandro from my Fraser group, so I caught up with him before setting off to find my hostel. I got there at 9 am and was informed I couldn't check in until 12:30, so here I am after a 14 hour night bus, sweaty from lugging my bags across town, looking like pure shit, roaming the city, putting out the vibe.  When I could finally check in, I showered and then ended up grabbing dinner with a couple girls from my room, Brianna (Canada) and Carmel (England) as well as their friend Amanda (Finland). 

After bumming around town for a few days, I bought some booze and ventured towards my boat, the Wings 3.  I've never been on a sailboat, as they aren't very prominent where I live, 13 hours inland from the Ocean, so as soon as I stepped aboard one thing was running through my mind, "Fuck Land, I'm On A Boat Motherfucker"! (Lonely Island reference, drink!)

If i had a boat I would name it Elicious, so it would be referred to as being Boat Elicious

The wings cruise was the best tour I've done in Australia.  It's so amazing to be pampered, all your meals are catered, including snacks, appetizers, and desserts; You don't have to do your dishes; And you can drink underneath the stars.  It was a welcome relief after making all your food/doing your dishes on the previous tours.  The first day we went snorkeling/diving off of Hayman Island and I discovered that snorkeling is my favorite activity ever.  It's so cool to be a stranger drifting through a foreign world, swimming around in a giant aquarium.  Plus the wetsuits you wear are made to be buoyant, so you don't even really have to swim, you can just be super lazy and float there.  After everyone had their fill, we got back on the boat for some biscuits (cookies) before heading to the Nara inlet where we parked our boat for the night.  

Beautiful sunset

It was pretty cool, each night after dinner we could all start drinking and then we watched a slideshow of pictures from the day.  There were 29 of us on the boat, making it really hard to interact with everyone, so we kind of ended up into two drinking groups.  English, Irish, Australian and North American comprising one group and the rest of Europe making up the other.   I spent most of my time with Andrew (Irish), Garett and Lindsay (Canadian), and Stu (Australian).  

The next day we headed to Whitehaven beach on Whitsundays Island, which is the second highest rated beach in the world.  The sand there has a really high concentration of silica, which is what makes the beach so white.  NASA actually uses the sand from Whitehaven beach to create the Hubble telescope lenses.  It was definitely one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen and I was able to set up a few time lapses while I lounged lazily in the water.

Whitehaven Beach

Someday I will stare at views like this from my front porch

The Whitsundays are magical

After we hung out on the beach for a few hours we sailed to two more spots, Luncheon Bay and Mantaray Bay.  I lent the divers my GoPro so they could get some cool pictures of the deeper waters, but got it back once they surfaced to get some more snorkel photos/video.  The bays were teeming with life, allowing me to get up close and personal with a giant sea turtle.  

Such bright blue waters

Never in my life would I have imagined I'd swim with a turtle

That night we gathered back around to review pictures, grab dinner, and polish off the last of our alcohol. We also had an appetizer of nachos and let me just say that eating nachos whilst sitting in a jacuzzi on a boat is pretty damn amazing, especially when there's a sunset in the background.  I also had an excess of beer and cider, so I shared with my various boat mates to make sure everyone had an acceptable buzz.  The next morning we rolled out to Blue Pearl Bay for a final snorkel, where I was lucky enough to see more turtles and even a sting ray!  The ray was a little freaky because that is what killed Steve Irwin, so I was a little nervous about how close to get, but you only live once.

Loving the ocean sunsets

Unfortunately Blue Pearl Bay was our last stop, so we had to start making our way back to Airlie Beach, which was pretty sad, but the tour group had a table reserved for everyone at Down Under Bar for later in the evening.  There wasn't a very big turnout, 3 of the French Guys, the 2 Swedish girls Emelie and Anna, Andrew, Stu, myself, and a few of the boat crew members.  I knew I was in for a rough night when I'd already polished off a pitcher of beer before the third person from the group arrived.  After getting some free drinks, which I'm 80% sure didn't actually contain any alcohol, we made our way to a dance club, Phoenix.

You know a club is legit when there's smoke machines pumping fog all over the dance floor at regular intervals.  It was also here that everyone caught me making out with one of the Australian girls that worked on the boat, but as my life coach once told me, everyone has random drunken dance floor makeout sessions....sometimes I worry about her.  After Phoenix we ended up heading back to one of the hostel bars, Magnums.  At 2 or 3, I called it good since my bus left at 9 in the morning, but the Swedish girls kept going even though they were leaving at 7.  Would I survive my hangover on the journey to Magnetic Island...Absolutely not, but that my friends is a story for another blog.  

Random GoPros

Priscilla...This giant fish used to be a female, because there is only allowed to be one male per cluster, but the male died, so as the largest female she literally grew a pair and took over as the male.  Fish are fascinating creatures!

Such a colorful fish!

I saw these fish everywhere

I'm on a boat!

Whitehaven beach, GoPro style

I look increasingly worse in each underwater photo

Point proven

How cool is that?!?!?!

Some corals only grow an inch every 4 years, which is roughly the same rate as my facial hair

An amazing boat!

Some people have asked me to start adding video to my blog, so here you go.  There's no preview, so I don't know how they'll turn out, but hopefully I didn't upload any of the ones of myself dancing and singing Party in the USA...not that there's 14 of those so far or anything....

Hungry Turtle

Fish Frenzy

Snorkel

Fish Feet