Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Financials

I debated sharing my finances from this trip, because I think some people will be judgmental and/or offended by how much I spent, but whatevs.  I know that I was very curious about the costs of living abroad, so hopefully anyone planning a trip will find this helpful.  All the prices listed below have been converted to US Dollars and, for the most part, have been rounded to the nearest dollar.  If something was super cheap, then I just rounded to the nearest $.50, since percentage wise there's a huge difference if something costs $1.50 or $2.  Yeah, yeah, I'm a nerd.  Deal with it!!!!

On top of the costs of being in each country, there are also additional overhead to consider, like having the right gear to travel with.  A proper backpacking bag will likely cost you at least $75 and you'll want a daypack (bookbag) as well.  If you're a little crazy like me you might also spend a few thousand dollars on camera, GoPro (doesn't fall under camera...it's a toy), and computer equipment before taking off.  I didn't include that information below, as it's not really a required/relevant cost for most people.  I never got cell phone service or sim cards in different countries, but you might also want to consider those costs as well if you can't live off the grid.  You'll also probably want travel/health insurance, which costs a pretty penny.


You should also have the expectation that some of your stuff will get destroyed along the way;  My kindle died, the case of my computer is broken, it also caught fire, and the touchpad goes out at least once a week.  My big bag is held together by an elaborate series of knots, carabiners, and terrible craftsmanship.  I went through five pairs of shoes, five pairs of flip flops, and about 16 pairs of earphones.  However, at the end of the day you can't worry about these things, there are a lot worse things that could happen in life... Like having to listen to Clay Aiken's Christmas CD when you go home... Even if it's not Christmas.
Mint.com... Maybe under the advice section you should write "Get a job".
In some countries you will be absurdly wealthy...
So how did I afford this trip?  Well, we'll get to that later.  Here's what the trip cost me:   


Transportation$7,475.00
Activities$5,966.50
Food/Drink/Misc$7,488.00
Accomodation/Internet$4,804.00
Travel Insurance (World Nomads)$923.16
Grand Total$26,656.66




DestinationDays SpentTransportationActivitiesFood/ Drink/ MiscAccomodation/ InternetGrand TotalCost of Living Per Day (Accomodation/ Food)
New Zealand47$1,591.00$1,570.00$938.00$900.00$4,999.00$39.11
Australia55$786.00$1,999.00$1,390.00$1,010.00$5,185.00$43.64
Indonesia27$425.00$450.00$281.00$218.00$1,374.00$18.48
Malaysia7$199.00$160.00$65.00$65.00$489.00$18.57
Thailand30$242.00$535.00$498.00$197.00$1,472.00$23.17
Laos29$117.00$74.00$402.00$184.00$777.00$20.21
Cambodia30$135.00$163.00$508.00$112.00$918.00$20.67
Vietnam25$156.00$443.00$389.00$117.00$1,105.00$20.24
Philippines23$391.00$96.50$413.50$148.00$1,049.00$24.41
Macau2$68.00-$35.00$12.50$141.00$186.50$76.75
Hong Kong6$77.50$77.50$137.00$78.00$370.00$35.83
South Korea20$332.00$42.50$367.50$243.00$985.00$30.53
Japan28$769.00$222.00$714.00$607.00$2,312.00$47.18
Fiji33$914.00$73.00$893.00$419.00$2,299.00$39.76
Hawaii10$746.50$96.00$479.50$365.00$1,687.00$84.45


To be fair, you might drink or eat out more in certain countries depending on who you meet, so there should be some leeway on the average daily cost, but it's still a pretty reasonable estimate of what you'll spend.  As you probably expected, the developed countries are pretty pricey, while Southeast Asia is unbelievably cheap.  Looking at a Grid is only going to tell you so much, so here is an individual breakdown by country.  Hopefully this will help you if you are travelling to one or more of them in particular! 

Just a quick note - Transportation only covers long distance/required transport, not generic rides through town via bus, taxi, etc., so that stuff is lumped into the "Miscellaneous" category.  I only separated local transport if it was a large amount or if the distance covered was a really long time.  For instance, in Lombok a taxi ride from the airport is over an hour and a half and it's your only means of transportation, thus it's broken out.


New Zealand
Transportation:
Plane Kansas City to Los Angeles - $173
Plane Ticket Los Angeles to Auckland - $968
Stray Bus Pass: $450
Total: $1591

Activities:

Bungy Jump - $60
Glow Worm Caves - $60
Cultural Night - $65
White Water Rafting - $80
Tongariro Crossing - $120
Ferry Crossing - $40
Stunt Plane - $450
Nevis Canyon Swing - $120
Gondola/Luge - $40
Milford Sound - $100
Ferry Crossing - $40
Rugby Match - $65
Hobbiton - $100
Gambling with British Dan - $80
Skydive I prepurchased and didn't go on: $150
Total Activities: $1570

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous: 

Total: $938

Accommodation/Internet: 

Total: $900

Grand Total for 6 weeks, 5 days in NZ:  $4,999

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Australia

Transportation:
Plane Ticket from Auckland to Sydney - $211
Plane Ticket from Cairns to Darwin - $235
Greyhound Pass - $340
Total: $786

Activities:

Cape Byron Kayak with dolphins - $70
Nimbin Tour - $40
Noosa Everglades Canoe - $150
Fraser Island - $430
Wings Cruise - $455
Magnetic Island - $100
Raging Thunder Rafting - $160
Rafting Levy Tax - $30
Peterpans Discount - ($135)
Australia Zoo - $65
Skydive - $255
Skydive Photos/Video - $130
Skydive Tax - $35
Koala Sanctuary - $20Koala Photo - $15
Reef - $100
Barefoot Tour - $79
Total - $1999

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

Total: $1390

Accommodation/Internet:

Accomodation - $950
Internet - $60
Total: $1010

Grand Total for 7 weeks 6 days in Australia: $5185

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Indonesia

Transportation:
Flight Darwin to Bali (Denpasar) - $225
Visa upon arrival - $25
Speed Boat to Gili Round Trip - $45
Flight Flores to Lombok - $100
Taxi Lombok Airport to Bangsal - $16
Departure Tax - $14
Total: $425

Activities:

Monkey Temple/ Coffee/ Volcano/ Rice Fields Trip - $35
Turtle Island and Snorkel - $20
Tanah Lot Temple - $15
Shoes/Apparel - $50
Gili Snorkeling - $10
Shrooms (3 times) - $40
Lombok to Flores Cruise - $155
Komodo Island - $5
Mount Rinjani Trek - $120
Total: $450

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

Total: $281

Accommodation/Internet:

Total: $218

Grand Total for 3 weeks 6 days in Indonesia: $1374

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Malaysia

Transportation:
Flight from the wrong Bali airport to Kuala Lumpur that I couldn't use - $65 (The cost of being an idiot aka idiot tax)
Real Flight from Bali (Denpasar) to Kuala Lumpur - $114
From Airport to Town using Bus - $4
From Town to Airport using Train - $16
Total: $199

Activities:

Christmas Gifts & Shipping home - $120
Shopping - $40
Total: $160

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$65

Accommodation/Internet:

$65

Grand Total for 1 week in Malaysia: $489

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Thailand

Transportation:
Flight Kuala Lumpur to Hat Yai - $63
Bus from Hat Yai Airport to Krabi - $18
Boat from Krabi to Ko Phi Phi - $11
Boat/Bus from Ko Phi Phi to Phuket - $11
Bus/Overnight Boat from Phuket to Ko Tao - $33
Boat Ko Tao to Ko Phangan - $13
Boat Ko Phangan to Ko Tao - $11
Boat/Overnight Bus from Ko Tao to Suratthani to Bangkok - $48
Kanchanaburi to Chiang Mai - $24
Chiang Mai to Chiang Khong - $10
Total: $242

Activities:

Christmas Dinner - $29
Jungle Experience Party - $10
Full Moon Entry - $3
Splitting Scooter w/ Peppe - $21
Elephant Park - $400
Golden Triangle/Long Neck Tour - $31
Tiger Kingdom - $41
Total:  $535

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$498

Accommodation/Internet:

$197

Grand Total for 4 weeks 2 days in Thailand: $1472

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Laos

Transportation:
Border Cross Bus Chiang Khong to Huay Xia - $1
Visa Upon Arrival - $35
Visa Upon Arrival Weekend Processing Fee - $1
Slow Boat - Huay Xia to Luang Prabang - $30
Bus Luang Prabang to Vang Vieng - $14
Bus Vang Vieng to Vientiane - $6
Bus Vientiane to Thakhek - $7.50
Bus Thakhek to Savannakhet - $4
Bus Savannakhet to Pakse - $5
Sorngtaaou Pakse to 4000 Islands - $5
Boat Nakasong to Don Det (4000 Islands) - $2
Boat Don Det to Nakasang - $2
Boat Nakasang to Don Khon - $2.50
Boat Don Khon to Don Det - $2
Total: $117

Activities:

Chomsy Hill View Point - $2.50
Cave Tubing and Kayaking - $11
Lusi and Pha Poak Caves - $2.50
Rock Climbing - $21
Vat Sisaket Temple and Hor Phakeo Museum - $1
Replacing stolen shoes - $35
Dino Museum - $1
Total: $74

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$402

Accommodation/Internet:

$184

Grand Total for 4 weeks 1 day in Laos: $777


_________________________________________________________________________________


Cambodia

Transportation:
Bus 4000 Islands to Siem Reap - $35
Visa - $30
Bus Siem Reap to Battambang - $5
Bus Battambang to Pnom Penh - $7
Bus Phnom Penh to Sihanoukville - $7

Round Trip Ferry Sihanoukville to Koh Rong - $20
Round Trip Ferry Sihanoukville to Koh Ta Kiev - $10
Bus Sihanoukville to Kampot - $6
Minibus Kampot to Kep - $3
Round Trip Ferry Kep to Rabbit Island - $9
Bus Kep to Kampot - $3
Total: $135

Activities:

Angkor Wat 3 Day Pass - $40
2 Days Tuk Tuk for Temples - $29
Bamboo train - $10
Broken flip flops (twice) - $11
Killing Fields - $6
S21 Prison - $2
Tuk Tuk to Fields and S21 - $15

Poker Night - $ 5
Anniversary Party - $30
Acid - $15
Total: $163

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$508

Accommodation/Internet:

$112

Grand Total for 4 weeks 2 days in Cambodia:

$918

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Vietnam

Transportation/Entry:
Visa (Must get in advance) - $60
Entry Fee - $1
Bus Kampot (Cambodia) to Can Tho (Vietnam) - $17
Bus Can Tho to Ho Chi Minh (Saigon) - $7
Bus Saigon to Da Lat - $13
Bus Da Lat to Nha Trang - $7
Night Bus Nha Trang to Hoi An - $15
Bus Hoi An to Hue - $5
Night Bus Hue to Hanoi - $16
Night Bus Sapa to Hanoi - $15
Total: $156

Activities:

Floating Market Tour - $20
Cu Chi Tunnels - $10
Da Lat Countryside Tour - $30
Canyoning - $25
Vinpearl Amusement and Water Park - $24
Tailored Suit - $80
Tailored Shirt - $20
Hue Imperial Citadel/Museum - $5
Ngocson Temple - $1
Ha Long Bay - $75
Sapa Homestay Trek - $61
Replacement Backpack - $23
Fansipan Mountain Climb - $69
Total: $443

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$389

Accommodation/Internet:

$117

Grand Total for 3 weeks 4 days in Vietnam:

$1105

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Philippines

Transportation: (Boats include terminal, environmental, and baggage fees; Bus prices between cities include price of tricycle between town center and bus station if required)
Flight Hanoi to Manila - $173
Bus Manila to Batangas - $4
Boat Batangas to Caticlan - $28
Boat Caticlan to Boracay - $4
Boracay to Caticlan - $2.50
Bus Caticlan to Iloilo - $13
Boat Iloilo to Cebu City - $18.50
Boat Cebu City to Tagbilaran - $12.50
Bus Tagbilaran to Nuts Huts - $1
Bus Nuts Huts to Chocolate Hills and Back - $1.50
Jeepney Nuts Huts to Tagbilaran - $.50
Boat Tagbilaran to Cebu - $6
Boat Cebu to Iloilo - $17.50
Boat Iloilo to Cuyo to Puerto Princesa - $27
Bus Puerto Princesa to El Nido - $9.50
Bus El Nido to Puerto Princesa - $9.50
Flight Puerto Princesa to Manila - $49
Puerto Princesa Airport Fee - $2
Philippines Departure Fee - $12
Total: $391

Activities:

Replacement Shoes - $64
Chocolate Hills - $1
El Nido Eco Tourism Development Fee - $4.50
El Nido Tour A - $27
Total: $96.50

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$413.50

Accommodation/Internet:

$148

Grand Total for 3 weeks 2 days in Philippines:

$1049
_________________________________________________________________________________

Macau

Transportation:
Flight Manila to Macau - $68

Activities:

Gambling Winnings!!! - ($35)

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$12.5

Accommodation/Internet:

$141

Grand Total for 2 days in Macau:

 $186.5
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Hong Kong

Transportation:
Speed Boat Macau to Hong Kong - $40
Octopus Card (Public Transport) - $37.50
Total: $77.5

Activities:

Hong Kong Art Museum - $1
Hong Kong Space Museum - $1
Peak Tram - $6
Ocean Park - $37.50
Ozone Bar Beer - $11
Ozone Dragontini - $21
Total: $77.5

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$137

Accommodation/Internet:

$78

Grand Total for 6 days in Hong Kong:

$370
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South Korea
Transportation:
Flight Hong Kong to Seoul - $142
Bullet Train Seoul to Busan - $50
Flight Busan to Jeju - $30
Flight Jeju to Busan - $35
Public Transport (Buses/Subway) - $75
Total: $332

Activities:

Deoksugung Palace - $1
Changdeokgung Palace - $3
Seoul Tower Cable Car - $8.50
Seoul Tower Entry - $9
Geumjeongsan Mountain Cable Car - $7
Hallim Park - $10
Manjanggul Cave - $2
Seongsan Ilchulbong (Sunrise Peak) - $2
Total: $42.50

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$367.50

Accommodation/Internet:

$243

Grand Total for 2 weeks 6 days in South Korea:

$985
_________________________________________________________________________________

Japan

Transportation:
Flight Busan to Osaka - $98
21 Day Japan Rail Pass (Unlimited travel on JR routes) - $560
Here's what those 21 days would have cost if I had bought individual tickets instead of the pass:
  • Train Osaka to Kyoto - $5.50
  • Train Kyoto to Nara - $7
  • Train Nara to Kyoto -$7
  • Shinkansen Kyoto to Himeji - $22
  • Shinkansen Himeji to Hiroshima - $43
  • Round Trip Ferry Hiroshima to Miyajima - $3.50
  • Shinkansen Hiroshima to Kagoshima - $92
  • Shinkansen/Train Kagoshima to Nagasaki - $68
  • Train/Shinkansen Nagasaki to Nagoya - $122
  • Nagoya to Kanazawa - $43
  • Kanazawa to Takayama - $25
  • Takayama to Sendai - $114
  • Sendai to Nikko - $50
  • Nikko to Matsumoto - $61
  • Matsumoto to Otsuki - $26
  • Otsuki to Kamakura -$16
  • Round trip Kamakura to Yokohama -$6
  • Kamakura to Tokyo -$9
  • Local JR Lines used within various cities ~ $30
  • Total: $750  
  • (So in the end the pass saved me $190!!!)
1 Day Kyoto Buss Pass - $5
Luggage Storage Himeji - $5
Round Trip Ferry Kagoshima to Sakurajima - $3 
Luggage Storage Matsumoto - $6
Train Otsuki to Kawaguchiko - $11
Round Trip Bus Kawaguchiko to Fuji 5th Station - $21
PASMO Card (Tokyo subway lines) - $60
Total: $769

Activities:

Kiyomizu-dera Temple - $3
Heian-jingu Shrine Gardens - $6
Kinkakuji Temple -$4
Ryoanji Temple - $5
Tenryuji Temple -$5
Todaiji Temple - $5 
Himeji Castle and Gardens - $7
Hiroshima Peace Museum - $.50
Itsukoshima Shrine - $3
Oura Church (Church of the 26 Japanese Martyrs) - $3
Cable Car Mount Inasa - $6
Kenrokuen Garden - $3
Hida Folk Village - $7
Taiyuin Temple - $5.50
Matsumoto Castle - $6
Cup Noodle Museum - $5
Tokyo Tower - $8
Souvenirs - $140
Total: $222

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$714

Accommodation/Internet:

$607

Grand Total for 4 weeks in Japan:

$2312
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Fiji

Transportation:
Flight Tokyo to Nadi - $771
Bus Nadi to Suva - $12
Bus Suva to Beach House (Coral Coast) - $6
Bus Beach House to Nadi - $5
Bus Nadi to Suva - $9
Boat Suva to Taveuni - $47
Boat Taveuni to Suva - $53
Minibus Suva to Nadi - $11
Total: $914

Activities:

Swimming in the ocean with a Fiji 20 in my pocket..and losing it (aka Idiot Tax) - $11
Beach House Waterfall Hike - $6
Rainbow Bay Snorkeling - $28
Tovoro Waterfalls - $28
Total: $73

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:
$893

Accommodation/Internet:

$419

Grand Total for 4 weeks 5 days in Fiji:

$2299

_________________________________________________________________________________


Hawaii

Transportation:
Flight Nadi to Honolulu - $626
Round Trip Bus to Diamond Head Crater - $5
Round Trip to North Shore - $7.50
Flight Honolulu to Maui - $108
Total: $746.50

Activities:

Diamond Head Crater - $1
Haleakala Volcano Entrance Fee - $5
Haleakala Tour - $20
Road to Hana Tour - $20
Souveneirs - $50
Total: $96

Food/Drink/Miscellaneous:

$479.50

Accommodation/Internet:

$365

Grand Total for 1 weeks 3 days in Hawaii:

$1,687
_________________________________________________________________________________

Home

Transportation:
Flight Maui to Los Angeles - $368
Flight Los Angeles to Kansas City - $158
Total: $526
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Here's a link to a spreadsheet with all this info if you want to play around with it.  You can copy it to excel and modify it:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1UZG-TUK9zJ0y8qdzQ2w6LyZ9W_xceDtOt7JyzutLOlc/edit?usp=sharing

One day you'll wake up and say, "Fuck it, I'm rich!".  A few days later you'll be in Hobbiton
The most necessary purchase of my trip...nay my life.  Suit up!
So how did I do it?

I think that most people probably attempt to save money once they finish college or start their career, whatever that might be.  I studied Finance, so perhaps I was at an advantage as I understood how to both save and invest my earnings.  My first suggestion is to take advantage of any incentive programs that your work offers.  For instance, a lot of corporations will match the first 6% of earnings that you invest in your 401k or retirement fund.  You should at a bare minimum, put in the amount that they match, otherwise you're leaving money on the table.  My company also offered a 15% discount on company stock and you were allowed to invest up to 20% of your post tax salary in that.  After getting settled, with a comfortable level of cash on hand, I bumped up my contribution to the full 20%.  Some people will say that's risky, because you're putting a lot of eggs into one basket, however as long as the stock doesn't fall by more than 15%, you have a guaranteed return on your investment.  Any financial adviser will tell you that you should invest at least some percentage of your salary into that kind of offer.  If they didn't, hire me instead ;).

So how does that work?  The first thing to keep in mind with the money you put in stock may not be liquid, which means you might not be able to withdraw the money whenever you want like a checking account.   The second big thing is the rate at which it's taxed.  My corporate policy prevented me from selling any stock within one year of purchase, so that cash is not accessible for emergencies.  After a year, you can sell it, but it will be taxed at a higher rate than if you wait until the two year mark.  Thus if you wait the full two years, it becomes a long term asset, and you will be taxed at a lower rate.  Thus, my recommendation would be to hold it for at least two years if you can.  (FYI - Stocks that you purchase normally, i.e. outside of an employee incentive program, only need to be held for one year to be considered long term assets... Yup, it's a little confusing, but thems the rules.)
You're super rich compared to the people in the countries you visit, consider giving back a little bit or doing some charity work.  You might even get to make friends with elephants!
Baby, is this how you feel?  I wanna know, wanna know.  Is this how you feel? And I wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna, wanna.....
After that two year mark, you have a decision, you can either hold onto your your stock and hope it increases in value, or you can play it safe and start selling it off.  I always did a bit of a mix of the two.  When you sell a chunk, you're going to get a few thousand dollars, so it's like getting a couple of extra paychecks, which is all kinds of awesome.  So maybe you splurge and buy a new tv or otherwise spoil yourself or you start trying to use that money to grow more money.  It's always a good idea to have some emergency funds, so with your first batch you probably want to build up your savings.  

With your next few batches, maybe you want to diversify your portfolio if you haven't already by buying different stocks or maybe even some bonds.  This is known as risk diversification, also very standard advice you'd get from a financial adviser.  I chose rather safe bets, buying stock in big corporations like Microsoft and Bank of America, because let's face it:  "Too big to fail" is a relatively true term.  The government can't afford to let companies that large die overnight, there are too many jobs on the line and the chain effect of them falling would be an economic disaster.  So many people would be out of jobs, those people then can't afford to buy things from the service industry and bam, you have an economic downturn.

Even if you're not interested in any of this investment stuff and everything I wrote is confusing to you, just think about it from the stance of getting extra paychecks.  How awesome would it be to just get a few extra thousand dollars every three months from selling off your stock?  All kinds of awesome.  If you saved 20% of your earnings for 5 years, you've just saved an entire year's worth of salary to go do whatever you want.  If you invested that money and it grew, you have even more money.  If you got unlucky and had some investments turn out poorly...well you still probably have a shitload (sorry, another fancy finance term) of money to play with.  
We gotta get jobs.  Then we get the khakis.  Then we get the chicks.
Unless you make this face, you're not going to get any girls looking like this.
You may be thinking, "There's no way I can save that kind of money, I can't put that high of a percentage away and still keep up with my normal living expenses".  To be fair, I had a pretty good job and the Midwest is a super cheap place to live, so I could still live comfortably whilst saving money at the same time.  However, even if you can't save that much, it doesn't mean you can't start saving a little.  Maybe you can start saving 2-5% of your salary and work your way up from there.  It may not sound like much, but trust me, it adds up quicker than you think.  

This leads to my next piece of advice: Most people say to live within your means, I say live below your means.  You don't need a really expensive car or a house with a bunch of extra guest rooms, those extra loan payments will damper your financial flexibility.  You can pre-game by drinking at someone's house instead of buying all your $6 drinks at the bar.  That $80 shirt hanging in your closet that you wore twice....You probably shouldn't have bought it.  Do you really need to spend $50 on cable each month?  You can spend $10 to get Netflix and stream your favorite shows online for free.  That would save you $480/year. Maybe drop your gym membership in the summer and just run outside, do some push ups and crunches.  You'll save some money, breathe some fresh air, sweat buckets, get a tan, and grow leaner.

So how do you avoid the temptation to spend your money?  Simple:  Have the money taken out of your paycheck before you receive it.  I had money going directly to my 401k and stock plan, so I never got used to having it.  Whenever I got a raise, the percentage of money going to those two places always increased incrementally with my salary.  You can also have your paycheck directly deposited into multiple accounts or set up an automatic transfer biweekly or monthly into a savings account.  So even if you get a raise that adds $80 to each paycheck, you don't need to get used to having the entire $80.  You can just get used to receiving an extra $40 and put the remaining half in your 401k, stock, or savings accounts.  At 26 paychecks a year, that $40 being put away turns into $1040 and that's not even accounting for any gains you made on that money.  Congratulations, you have now saved enough to spend a month in Southeast Asia!
Try to spend your money on the things you truly need.  Like a speargun for $10, I mean that's just a steal, pull the trigger on that! (pun intended)
Just so we're clear, this is who you are getting financial advice from... Tread carefully
Final piece of advice:  My brother Josh once told me that there are two currencies to consider. The first is money, the second is time.  Money comes and goes, time just goes, so you should make good use of it.  Sometimes it's not just how you spend your money that counts, it's how you spend your time... Therefore perhaps you should think about time first and money second, because at the end of the day, how you spend your time is your most important investment...

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Maui

My sister Leslee told me that Maui was way cooler than Oahu, so I decided to split up my Hawaii trip by doing five days on each island.  I caught a flight on Island Air for $93 and was there in under 45 minutes, I definitely recommend them, the pilot even acted as a tour guide.  Upon arriving I was reintroduced to American cabs and the tipping process again. $25 for a three mile cab ride.  It's criminal.  I happened to arrive on the first Friday of the month, so there was a mini festival set up on the main drag of the city I stayed in.  Steak and salmon tacos, open faced pork belly buns... Most restaurants have nothing on a good night market. 

The hostel I picked was by far the most expensive of my trip at $40/night, but they did offer free tours, which helped ease the pain.  I arrived just in time for the longest hike that they offer, a 12 trek through an extinct volcano called Haleakala.  The hike ends with a drive to the top of a mountain (10,000 feet) to watch the sun setting above the clouds.  It was pretty easy since 2/3 of it was flat or downhill, with only the final third requiring us to walk at an incline.  I can definitely see why people come to Hawaii from the mainland and never return.  This place is paradise.  
You are young darling.  For now, but not for long....
This place doesn't even seem like Earth, it's like walking around Mars.
I wanna kiss you and knock em down like we used to, you're the marigold.  You're an angel in the pit with her hands in the air and you rock on baby, rock on, you rock on.  You're a summertime hottie with her socks in the air.  You're screaming I don't care, baby I don't care, no!!!
You wonder, oh how do I inspire?  Got the world spinning round inside my palm.  Don't hate me, you know they got you wired.  You better short circuit, be your own program.  Cus we all wanna dance, just wanna dance, dance, we wanna dance.  With me y'all wanna dance.
I have the IQ of a caveman and the voice of Gollum, so this seemed like an ideal spot for me
I will reign from these clouds, for the world is my playground and you are all my minions.  Bwahahaha, puny humans.
The capacity is limited for each day's tour, so by the time we got back, all the spots for Sunday were full.  Thus I ended up having a lazy day, which began with a failed attempt to run a mile, which in all fairness is 64,560 inches.  No human being can run that far.  However, after walking the better part of 50,000 of those inches and spending three hours recovering from the exertion, I found the motivation to hike up to a local waterfall with a French Canadian girl, Josie.  Afterwards we hit up the grocery store so we could make some dinner and then spent the night drinking with the rest of our hostel mates.  There were no bars nearby, so we were confined to getting beer from the closest convenient store and drinking on the patio.  

My next day was even more lazy as I skipped the tour to make sure I could sign up for Tuesday's tour, "The Road to Hana", which is supposedly one of the most beautiful drives in the entire world.  It's pretty awesome to be devoid of any potential, as I can waste away and no one judges me.  When Tuesday finally arrived, I was joined on the tour by my roommates: Francisco from Chile, Tony from Washington D.C., and Sergei from Ukraine.  The road is only 42 miles long, but it contains 54 bridges and over 600 turns.  In other words, though the distance is short, the drive takes a really long time.  Luckily for us, the landscape of Maui is gorgeous, so there were plenty of places to stop along the way.
All by myself, all by myself.  I can lift a car up all by myself.  All by myself, all by myself.  I can lift a car up all by myself!!! Did ya, did ya, did you know that I can lift a car up all by myself?  Well no misunderstanding, I'm not saying that you can't... I can lift a car up all by myself!
I'm so excited I haven't spoke yet.  And she's so pretty and she's so sure, but maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her.  Summer's all in bloom, Summer's ending soon...
The drive is also famous for it's food stops, namely the banana bread stands (There's always money in the banana stand).  However, I must admit that I wasn't impressed.  I mean, where were the walnuts, I don't want plain banana bread.  If I want bland food, I'll go to England...or my mom's house.  Ooooo, that's what's known as a Lowe blow.  IN YOUR FACE MOM! #facepalm.  Whilst the food was average, the scenery was incredible. Maui even has Rainbow Eucalyptus trees, whose bark is quite literally the colors of the rainbow.  Seriously, google it.  Fascinating.  

Our first stop was a cave with an annex that could only be reached by going underwater and squeezing through some rocks....in the dark.  It sounds more extreme than it was, but if you're afraid of the dark (Canadians) or claustrophobic, it's probably not for you.  A French girl kept holding onto me while we were waiting for our guide to help everyone get through the passage.  Of course I think we all know it wasn't because it was dark or because she couldn't stay afloat on her own, I think we all know it's because she wanted me.  I mean have you seen the way I look in a dark cave?  You get all the benefits of my body, without the horror of seeing my face.  I'm not sure if it's my perfectly sculpted latissimus dorsi, my deformed ankles, or the scent of my belly button fungus, but the ladies can't resist me.  Well, I mean once she saw me in daylight she ran off screaming, but let's not focus on that...  

After the cave we ventured out to a few beaches and waterfalls before making our way to a place called the Venus pools to do some cliff jumping! The final adrenaline pumping activity of this trip, it was perfect.  Our last destination was a red sand beach in Hana, marking the end of the road!  I actually don't recall going a red beach before this one...Even after a year of travelling, there's always more to see :).
Now that I'm back in the states  I've been thinking about different businesses to create.  So far my best idea is the Brokini.  I will be the founder, CEO, and runway model.    You haven't lived until you've seen me in a two piece.... or a onesie
You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere.  Maybe we can make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere.
I've searched for many mystical creatures on this journey, but the smoke monster has proven one of the most elusive... Regardless, I've got this island on Locke down...No idea what I'm talking about?  Then you don't know Jack. You should get LOST.
The next morning, I finally had to say goodbye to the backpacker life, as I made my way back to the mainland.  I decided to spend a few weeks in Los Angeles with my brothers before making the journey back to Kansas City.  And so my adventure comes to an end...for now :).

If you've taken away nothing else from my blog,  I hope you've come away feeling more educated and/or have discovered a new found respect for women.  Those are the two things that this blog has been trying to promote.

I have no idea what the future holds, but to be honest, I don't care.  I don't even know what continent(s) I'll be on next year!  I guess when I figure that out... Well that will be a story for another blog...


Random GoPros
One year of no responsibility, one year without having to be smart or relied upon.  It's pretty selfish, but I loved that about this year... I was free
My hair looks atrocious in this photo, but at least no one is comparing me to Bieber or the dudes from One Direction anymore.  It's not my fault I'm so damn pretty.
When I was seven, Bryn and I completed our first science experiment.  Our hypothesis?  If big bro farted into one end of a hollow tube, with the other end of the tube pressed against my bum, the fart would be sent into my body.  Did it work?  OF COURSE IT WORKED!!!  Can you smell that?  That's what victory smells like.
Swimming with the locals...I might have peed in the pool... I always pee in the pool
You're still thinking about that fart experiment aren't you?  Weirdo.
I tried to get a badass photo of a wave crashing around me, but instead it looks like I'm receiving an enema
I look like an anorexic version of Inspector Gadget....#ScrawnySeanie :'(
There's no better way to enter the ocean than jumping from a cliff
To anyone who is unhappy with their life and is constantly wishing for something better: Go for it.  Maybe you don't need to travel for a year like I did, but you deserve to be happy.  So roll the dice or take a chance on yourself.  Because for all the money you can make, you'll never be able to create more time.  Make the most of it, for time is the coin of the realm and you'll never know if your tollbooth is up ahead

Sunday, August 3, 2014

Oahu

Before entering the U.S. I feared passing through Immigrations
But they simply said, "Welcome back to the greatest of nations!
All the others you visited were just poor imitations."
Perhaps they should work on their foreign relations...
Oh to be home, into your arms I have flown

The land of instant streaming via Netflix, Prime, and Hulu
Why should I even bother seeing the coast of Honolulu?
To get to my hostel I needed to take a late night shuttle
Past all the resorts and into the slums where the cockroaches scuttle
Oh to be home, how far we had grown

Locked out, hiding in an alley, I was fearing the likes of Jack the Ripper
However the only sound I heard was the lowering of a zipper
For instead of being gutted and hung from a galley
I was forced to listen to a hooker giving head in said alley
America, a sketchier place I've never been shown

Because of time differences I experienced July 27th for 46 hours
Oh to be in control of Father Time's powers!
All the streets lined with ATMs, Subways and Starbucks
We're so much better than those dirty Canucks...Haha Canada sucks!!!!
America, in greatness, we stand alone
You could be free, you could run away with me ;)
Who needs Hello Kitty? In America we have Hello Titty
We all knew I was going to make fun of Canada sooner or later
So let it slide and follow my journey to Diamond Head Crater
Reviews claim the hike will push you to your limits
I barely broke a sweat and finished in thirty minutes
Americans, how they love to piss and moan!

The world is never more beautiful than when seen from the top
The rolling hills and ocean is enough to make thine heart stop
And as I stood their admiring my country's great beauty
I recited the Pledge of Allegiance, my own sacred duty!
Americans, our pride is well known
Quick wits and I'm curious, I'm all caught in what you say.  Help me grab the time, before it slips away....
It's depressing that my scrotum's so zitty, but at least I have a tremendous view of the city!
TV Guide magazine said I was going to be the next David Hasselhoff, but then that damn Alligator bit my hand off!
Nighttime involved drinking with Aussie T, a Turk, Germans, and dudes from the Navy
Will I ever heed the pleas of my liver or just keep it sauced up like gravy? 
(Perhaps I just need a pretty lady to save me... :p)
We went to beach instead of the bar, for though everyone here can own a gun
You can't drink until you've reached the age of twenty-one!!!
Oh to be home, where laws cut to the bone!

No trip would be complete without taking a bus to the North Shore
Finally a place where I would be surrounded by tourists no more!!!!
For on the beach with my newfound friends did I rest
While my mind churned over different foods to ingest
Oh to be home, where I shall gain two stone!

Who can't love a land where your meal is served on a gigantic platter
Work out all you want, in America you'll only get fatter
We are the country that created the s'more
The land that your eyes and stomach adore!
America, the sins of your dieting I shall never atone

I showed Aussie Theresa the greatness that is WalMart
How could one ever want to depart, the prices soothe thy heart!
Our bus back to the hostel was delayed because of a shooting
Why is there always destruction, mayhem, and looting?
America, you are too violence-prone
If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.  If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain.  If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of a cape, then I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me and escape
Yes I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.  I'm not much into health food, I'm into champagne.  I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon and cut through all this red tape - at a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape
To ride the bus to Waimea Bay, in sexual favors did I pay!!
My last day was spent writing and relaxing
For life in Hawaii was proving far too taxing
That evening I went out to hear the sound of glasses clink
And said my goodbyes with one final drink
Americans, wield your booze to get past the friend zone

My next stop was Maui for a little island hopping
A final hurrah for a trip that soon will be stopping
I can't believe there's going to be an end to this journey
Hopefully I'll go out in style and not on a gurney
Americans, I forget - is it me or the time that has flown?
After a year of hard work and toil, I needed to kiss me some American soil
On my hands I attempted to stand, for an epic way to kiss my homeland
I don't know the future, but I'll jump into the fog
Who knows what will happen in my next blog....



Random GoPros
My GoPro has seen it's final big city, why does the prospect of a normal life sound so shitty?
Who says I can't be free from all of the things that I used to be?  Rewrite my history, who says I can't be free?
If you want to rule this turf, you must become the King of Surf
I'm such a creep, pray you don't see this face in your sleep
Stop to pretend, stop pretending... It seems this game is simply never ending....
Well it's a big, big island and it's always the same.  Can never be too pretty, tell me your name.  Is it out of line, if I was to be bold and say would you be mine?
Honolulu, the city with a view
It's been a long night in Kansas City, it's been a long night in Honolulu.  I don't remember you looking any better, but then again I don't remember you...
All these beaches and the vodka fizz, this is not my life...or maybe it is
All I want right now is the time where we slept on the floor.  You said right here, right now is all we are living for.