Maui

My sister Leslee told me that Maui was way cooler than Oahu, so I decided to split up my Hawaii trip by doing five days on each island.  I caught a flight on Island Air for $93 and was there in under 45 minutes, I definitely recommend them, the pilot even acted as a tour guide.  Upon arriving I was reintroduced to American cabs and the tipping process again. $25 for a three mile cab ride.  It's criminal.  I happened to arrive on the first Friday of the month, so there was a mini festival set up on the main drag of the city I stayed in.  Steak and salmon tacos, open faced pork belly buns... Most restaurants have nothing on a good night market. 

The hostel I picked was by far the most expensive of my trip at $40/night, but they did offer free tours, which helped ease the pain.  I arrived just in time for the longest hike that they offer, a 12 trek through an extinct volcano called Haleakala.  The hike ends with a drive to the top of a mountain (10,000 feet) to watch the sun setting above the clouds.  It was pretty easy since 2/3 of it was flat or downhill, with only the final third requiring us to walk at an incline.  I can definitely see why people come to Hawaii from the mainland and never return.  This place is paradise.  

You are young darling.  For now, but not for long....

This place doesn't even seem like Earth, it's like walking around Mars.

I wanna kiss you and knock em down like we used to, you're the marigold.  You're an angel in the pit with her hands in the air and you rock on baby, rock on, you rock on.  You're a summertime hottie with her socks in the air.  You're screaming I don't care, baby I don't care, no!!!

You wonder, oh how do I inspire?  Got the world spinning round inside my palm.  Don't hate me, you know they got you wired.  You better short circuit, be your own program.  Cus we all wanna dance, just wanna dance, dance, we wanna dance.  With me y'all wanna dance.

I have the IQ of a caveman and the voice of Gollum, so this seemed like an ideal spot for me

I will reign from these clouds, for the world is my playground and you are all my minions.  Bwahahaha, puny humans.

The capacity is limited for each day's tour, so by the time we got back, all the spots for Sunday were full.  Thus I ended up having a lazy day, which began with a failed attempt to run a mile, which in all fairness is 64,560 inches.  No human being can run that far.  However, after walking the better part of 50,000 of those inches and spending three hours recovering from the exertion, I found the motivation to hike up to a local waterfall with a French Canadian girl, Josie.  Afterwards we hit up the grocery store so we could make some dinner and then spent the night drinking with the rest of our hostel mates.  There were no bars nearby, so we were confined to getting beer from the closest convenient store and drinking on the patio.  

My next day was even more lazy as I skipped the tour to make sure I could sign up for Tuesday's tour, "The Road to Hana", which is supposedly one of the most beautiful drives in the entire world.  It's pretty awesome to be devoid of any potential, as I can waste away and no one judges me.  When Tuesday finally arrived, I was joined on the tour by my roommates: Francisco from Chile, Tony from Washington D.C., and Sergei from Ukraine.  The road is only 42 miles long, but it contains 54 bridges and over 600 turns.  In other words, though the distance is short, the drive takes a really long time.  Luckily for us, the landscape of Maui is gorgeous, so there were plenty of places to stop along the way.

All by myself, all by myself.  I can lift a car up all by myself.  All by myself, all by myself.  I can lift a car up all by myself!!! Did ya, did ya, did you know that I can lift a car up all by myself?  Well no misunderstanding, I'm not saying that you can't... I can lift a car up all by myself!

I'm so excited I haven't spoke yet.  And she's so pretty and she's so sure, but maybe I'm more clever than a girl like her.  Summer's all in bloom, Summer's ending soon...

The drive is also famous for it's food stops, namely the banana bread stands (There's always money in the banana stand).  However, I must admit that I wasn't impressed.  I mean, where were the walnuts, I don't want plain banana bread.  If I want bland food, I'll go to England...or my mom's house.  Ooooo, that's what's known as a Lowe blow.  IN YOUR FACE MOM! #facepalm.  Whilst the food was average, the scenery was incredible. Maui even has Rainbow Eucalyptus trees, whose bark is quite literally the colors of the rainbow.  Seriously, google it.  Fascinating.  

Our first stop was a cave with an annex that could only be reached by going underwater and squeezing through some rocks....in the dark.  It sounds more extreme than it was, but if you're afraid of the dark (Canadians) or claustrophobic, it's probably not for you.  A French girl kept holding onto me while we were waiting for our guide to help everyone get through the passage.  Of course I think we all know it wasn't because it was dark or because she couldn't stay afloat on her own, I think we all know it's because she wanted me.  I mean have you seen the way I look in a dark cave?  You get all the benefits of my body, without the horror of seeing my face.  I'm not sure if it's my perfectly sculpted latissimus dorsi, my deformed ankles, or the scent of my belly button fungus, but the ladies can't resist me.  Well, I mean once she saw me in daylight she ran off screaming, but let's not focus on that...  

After the cave we ventured out to a few beaches and waterfalls before making our way to a place called the Venus pools to do some cliff jumping! The final adrenaline pumping activity of this trip, it was perfect.  Our last destination was a red sand beach in Hana, marking the end of the road!  I actually don't recall going a red beach before this one...Even after a year of travelling, there's always more to see :).

Now that I'm back in the states  I've been thinking about different businesses to create.  So far my best idea is the Brokini.  I will be the founder, CEO, and runway model.    You haven't lived until you've seen me in a two piece.... or a onesie

You got a fast car, I want a ticket to anywhere.  Maybe we can make a deal, maybe together we can get somewhere.

I've searched for many mystical creatures on this journey, but the smoke monster has proven one of the most elusive... Regardless, I've got this island on Locke down...No idea what I'm talking about?  Then you don't know Jack. You should get LOST.

The next morning, I finally had to say goodbye to the backpacker life, as I made my way back to the mainland.  I decided to spend a few weeks in Los Angeles with my brothers before making the journey back to Kansas City.  And so my adventure comes to an end...for now :).

If you've taken away nothing else from my blog,  I hope you've come away feeling more educated and/or have discovered a new found respect for women.  Those are the two things that this blog has been trying to promote.

I have no idea what the future holds, but to be honest, I don't care.  I don't even know what continent(s) I'll be on next year!  I guess when I figure that out... Well that will be a story for another blog...


Random GoPros

One year of no responsibility, one year without having to be smart or relied upon.  It's pretty selfish, but I loved that about this year... I was free

My hair looks atrocious in this photo, but at least no one is comparing me to Bieber or the dudes from One Direction anymore.  It's not my fault I'm so damn pretty.

When I was seven, Bryn and I completed our first science experiment.  Our hypothesis?  If big bro farted into one end of a hollow tube, with the other end of the tube pressed against my bum, the fart would be sent into my body.  Did it work?  OF COURSE IT WORKED!!!  Can you smell that?  That's what victory smells like.

Swimming with the locals...I might have peed in the pool... I always pee in the pool

You're still thinking about that fart experiment aren't you?  Weirdo.

I tried to get a badass photo of a wave crashing around me, but instead it looks like I'm receiving an enema

I look like an anorexic version of Inspector Gadget....#ScrawnySeanie :'(

There's no better way to enter the ocean than jumping from a cliff

To anyone who is unhappy with their life and is constantly wishing for something better: Go for it.  Maybe you don't need to travel for a year like I did, but you deserve to be happy.  So roll the dice or take a chance on yourself.  Because for all the money you can make, you'll never be able to create more time.  Make the most of it, for time is the coin of the realm and you'll never know if your tollbooth is up ahead