Oahu

Before entering the U.S. I feared passing through Immigrations
But they simply said, "Welcome back to the greatest of nations!
All the others you visited were just poor imitations."
Perhaps they should work on their foreign relations...
Oh to be home, into your arms I have flown

The land of instant streaming via Netflix, Prime, and Hulu
Why should I even bother seeing the coast of Honolulu?
To get to my hostel I needed to take a late night shuttle
Past all the resorts and into the slums where the cockroaches scuttle
Oh to be home, how far we had grown

Locked out, hiding in an alley, I was fearing the likes of Jack the Ripper
However the only sound I heard was the lowering of a zipper
For instead of being gutted and hung from a galley
I was forced to listen to a hooker giving head in said alley
America, a sketchier place I've never been shown

Because of time differences I experienced July 27th for 46 hours
Oh to be in control of Father Time's powers!
All the streets lined with ATMs, Subways and Starbucks
We're so much better than those dirty Canucks...Haha Canada sucks!!!!
America, in greatness, we stand alone

You could be free, you could run away with me ;)

Who needs Hello Kitty? In America we have Hello Titty

We all knew I was going to make fun of Canada sooner or later
So let it slide and follow my journey to Diamond Head Crater
Reviews claim the hike will push you to your limits
I barely broke a sweat and finished in thirty minutes
Americans, how they love to piss and moan!

The world is never more beautiful than when seen from the top
The rolling hills and ocean is enough to make thine heart stop
And as I stood their admiring my country's great beauty
I recited the Pledge of Allegiance, my own sacred duty!
Americans, our pride is well known

Quick wits and I'm curious, I'm all caught in what you say.  Help me grab the time, before it slips away....

It's depressing that my scrotum's so zitty, but at least I have a tremendous view of the city!

TV Guide magazine said I was going to be the next David Hasselhoff, but then that damn Alligator bit my hand off!

Nighttime involved drinking with Aussie T, a Turk, Germans, and dudes from the Navy
Will I ever heed the pleas of my liver or just keep it sauced up like gravy? 
(Perhaps I just need a pretty lady to save me... :p)
We went to beach instead of the bar, for though everyone here can own a gun
You can't drink until you've reached the age of twenty-one!!!
Oh to be home, where laws cut to the bone!

No trip would be complete without taking a bus to the North Shore
Finally a place where I would be surrounded by tourists no more!!!!
For on the beach with my newfound friends did I rest
While my mind churned over different foods to ingest
Oh to be home, where I shall gain two stone!

Who can't love a land where your meal is served on a gigantic platter
Work out all you want, in America you'll only get fatter
We are the country that created the s'more
The land that your eyes and stomach adore!
America, the sins of your dieting I shall never atone

I showed Aussie Theresa the greatness that is WalMart
How could one ever want to depart, the prices soothe thy heart!
Our bus back to the hostel was delayed because of a shooting
Why is there always destruction, mayhem, and looting?
America, you are too violence-prone

If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.  If you're not into yoga, if you have half a brain.  If you like making love at midnight in the dunes of a cape, then I'm the love that you've looked for, write to me and escape

Yes I like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain.  I'm not much into health food, I'm into champagne.  I've got to meet you by tomorrow noon and cut through all this red tape - at a bar called O'Malley's, where we'll plan our escape

To ride the bus to Waimea Bay, in sexual favors did I pay!!

My last day was spent writing and relaxing
For life in Hawaii was proving far too taxing
That evening I went out to hear the sound of glasses clink
And said my goodbyes with one final drink
Americans, wield your booze to get past the friend zone

My next stop was Maui for a little island hopping
A final hurrah for a trip that soon will be stopping
I can't believe there's going to be an end to this journey
Hopefully I'll go out in style and not on a gurney
Americans, I forget - is it me or the time that has flown?

After a year of hard work and toil, I needed to kiss me some American soil

On my hands I attempted to stand, for an epic way to kiss my homeland

I don't know the future, but I'll jump into the fog
Who knows what will happen in my next blog....



Random GoPros

My GoPro has seen it's final big city, why does the prospect of a normal life sound so shitty?

Who says I can't be free from all of the things that I used to be?  Rewrite my history, who says I can't be free?

If you want to rule this turf, you must become the King of Surf

I'm such a creep, pray you don't see this face in your sleep

Stop to pretend, stop pretending... It seems this game is simply never ending....

Well it's a big, big island and it's always the same.  Can never be too pretty, tell me your name.  Is it out of line, if I was to be bold and say would you be mine?

Honolulu, the city with a view

It's been a long night in Kansas City, it's been a long night in Honolulu.  I don't remember you looking any better, but then again I don't remember you...

All these beaches and the vodka fizz, this is not my life...or maybe it is

All I want right now is the time where we slept on the floor.  You said right here, right now is all we are living for.  

Taveuni

I was so excited to finally be making my way to Taveuni, but my enthusiasm was quickly turned to dread as I prepared to leave.  The nosy people at the hostel (Bamboo) kept asking me where I was going and I kept telling them Taveuni, to which they continuously responded, "The boat doesn't leave on Tuesdays, you have to wait until Friday", and of course they were simultaneously trying to sell me other tours to keep me occupied until said Friday.  I told them that the boat definitely left on Tuesdays, which was overheard by a crazy Chinese girl, let's call her Wei.  She decided to hijack my journey and come with me, but first we had to wait ten minutes while the people at Bamboo called to verify that the boat did in fact leave on Tuesday.  Wei then told me I must wait another twenty minutes so she could call various places to cancel reservations, since she was initially planning on doing tours and going to Taveuni on Friday.

Once she was finally sorted, we met up with Fabian at his hostel and then cabbed it to the bus station.  We arrived at 10:58 and the bus was slated to leave at 11:00, but Wei decided she needed to go get food, so we had to load her bags on the bus and then track her down as the bus was getting ready to leave without her.  She then proceeded to complain because the food she had just purchased, wasn't allowed to be consumed on the bus.  Seriously, stab my face.  You have my permission.  

It was a 4.5 hour bus ride back to Suva, from which we had to catch a boat to Taveuni.  The bus station is in town, with the docks about a 15 minute walk away.  Fabian and I presumed to walk to the boat to drop our bags, but Wei decided she could not walk for 15 minutes and we had to get a Taxi.  Knowing better than to argue with a crazy person, we conceded and cabbed it to the boat.  We then proceeded to buy tickets from the office and started to take our bags up to the passenger deck, but Wei started yelling at us, telling us to leave our bags in the cargo area like she was doing.  We asked her why it mattered if we left our bags downstairs or took them with us, but she seemed to think we were complete morons.  After we dropped our bags, we decided to go into town to get an early dinner and some snacks for the 20 hour boat ride, but when Wei spotted us, she asked us to pay for her boat ticket because she didn't have money...The bus stop was literally across the street from three ATMs.  At this point we were just like, we're heading into town, just go into town and get cash from the ATM.  The craziest part of this scenario, she had been to Taveuni earlier in the year, so she should have known all of this in advance.  Fuck. My. Life.

The boat was delayed about 2.5 hours, which is standard for Fiji, and in the meantime had become filled by a group of 30 Chinese people.  They proceeded to chew audibly, talk even louder, and generally block the TV and be inherently rude.  As someone that is half Chinese, I started to think maybe I should be more thankful of my British DNA since it provided me the ability to have manners and common courtesy.  Then I realized my British DNA was why I was complaining and constantly perceiving the world to be a miserable place...  It's not easy being a mudblood.  When we finally took off, the crew hooked us up with a free upgrade to beds, saving us from sleeping on the couches.  After about 16 hours, we ended up on the second largest island in Fiji, in a town called Savu Savu.  We were allowed to hop off the boat while it was docked, so we went for a brief wander.  

Savu Savu

It gets lonely at sea....

Naturally we were delayed in leaving Savu Savu and arrived into Taveuni late, our 20 hour journey having grown into a 24 hour adventure.  The Chinese group departed the boat in Savu Savu, so the boat was pretty empty during the final leg.  When we docked in Taveuni, we sorted out sharing a cab to our hostel with a Fijian woman who wanted to be dropped along the way, but out of nowhere Wei appeared and decided she was riding with us as well.  She didn't come to our hostel, however, opting to be dropped off in town instead.  She didn't even offer to pay part of the cab fair, she just hopped out and grabbed her stuff.  At that point I was just glad to be free of her, so I didn't even care.  Thank God Tatiana Maslany is not Chinese.

As soon as we arrived to our hostel, we saw some familiar faces from Beach House, including our Finish friend Lotta, and were invited to join a snorkeling trip the following morning to Rainbow Reef.  It'd been way too long since I'd been on a proper snorkeling trip, so I was pretty pumped for the opportunity.  In typical "Fiji Time" fashion, we left two hours later than projected and were also facing a shortage of equipment, so one of the locals had to give me his fins and goggles.  I was surprised to find the waters were clear of plastic bottles and other forms of rubbish.  The water had amazing visibility and the corals were awesome, but the fish life was pretty average.  However, based on other people's impressions I think I've just been spoiled by my time in Australia and Indonesia.  

Taveuni is what I expected Fiji to be like, desolate and beautiful

Practicing my cowabunga pose for the new TMNT movie! So nostalgiac!!!

A few days later Fabian and I visited the Tavoro waterfalls in Bouma National Heritage Park with a French dude named Tomas.  Surprisingly, the trip started ahead of schedule!  We bypassed the first and second waterfalls, to go to the third one first, which is more secluded and boasts a little area where you can jump off the waterfall into the pool below.  We weren't allowed to swim in the second waterfall, but once we got down to the first, we were allowed to go into a little cavernous area behind the waterfall and jump in for a final swim.  Upon leaving, we found out someone from a different group had left their camera at the third waterfall, which was an hour hike uphill, so she had to climb all the way back up to get it... Brutal.  

The following evening, the guys at the hostel randomly decided to have a bonfire, so we all headed to the beach for a late night fire and some drinks.  They made us leave at 1 AM, so we headed back to the hostel for a final shot and then turned in for the evening.  Quite a few people left the next morning, including Fabian, but I decided to stay for a few extra days to chill out and catch up on my reading.  I'm not ashamed to say I became engrossed in J.K. Rowling's newest novel, The Silkworm, and devoured it in two days.

The day you were born, you were born free.  That is your privilege.

Give you heart and soul to me, and life will always be La Vie En Rose (Cristin Milioti)

Somewhere along the way people have probably told you that you can't do something or made you feel like you weren't good enough... Fuck em, become who you want to become

Back down the bullies to the back of the bus, cus it's time for them to be scared of us!!!

I took the boat back to Suva with a couple of Swiss guys, Alexander and Gabor, as well as a pair of Germans...I'm always with Germans.  Going back was way faster, taking a mere 18 hours.  I decided to immediately head back to Nadi, since it is by far the cheapest place to stay in Fiji, while the others stayed in Suva for the evening.  I was relatively sure I was going to be murdered by my mini-bus crew, because the three of them took off towards Nadi with me as their sole passenger.  Luckily after thirty minutes, they finally started picking up some locals, so I felt a little safer.  When we passed by the Beach House, we randomly picked up a Welsh guy I had met in Suva named Gareth, who was catching a ride to the closest bottle shop to pick up some beer.  It's truly amazing how often people's paths cross.

When I finally got to Nadi, I decided to switch up my hostel and stayed at the Wailoaloa Beach Resort, which for $8/night included breakfast and free wifi.  It was pretty much the greatest financial decision I made whilst in Fiji.  Fabian ended up joining me there since he was flying out of Nadi a few days after me.  Our days pretty much revolved around eating, since neither of us had money left to pay for tours and I wanted to avoid taking out money because of ATM fees. 

Everything that you can't control, sometimes you gotta just let go. Lay back and you will hold, and you will survive

Well that's my year spent exile, second guessed and dressed up in tatters.  My both feet didn't take this path, and I'm still looking for a life that matters...

It's called a bathroom, but I'm not seeing a whole lot of room...

Now this bird has flown, like I've always known it would.  Maybe someday soon, you'll be flying too....

Overall I wasn't that impressed with Fiji.  I think the women are really nice and genuine, but the dudes are extremely fake.  It's so annoying to constantly have people come up to you pretending to be friendly, only to explain why you have to do a $300 tour thirty seconds later.  That's not to say there aren't genuinely nice people, they're just not as prevalent as the swindlers.  Fiji had it's moments, but overall I found it to be overpriced and very average in terms of scenery.

The next leg of my journey would also be my last before going home - Hawaii.  One final diversion during my year abroad.  Ten more days to procrastinate before making adult-level decisions about my future, but that's a story for another blog...

Random GoPros

I reckon I've spent 20-30% of the past year on boats, buses, plains, and other forms of transportation

The water is so clear, the reef thriving.  Amazing, the ocean is simply amazing...

When I first started travelling I took a million pictures...Now I just enjoy the moment and snap a few

Probably the most enthusiastic tour guide I've ever had the pleasure of meeting

Mini-Cliff Jumping at Waterfall 3

Crossing rocks at Waterfall 2

Swimming in Waterfall 1

Taking up an entire row so no one can invade my personal bubble 

Look how adorable these cats are, how can you not love animals?

My dorm room was backed against the Nadi Airport... Every 15 mins I heard the sound barrier breaking

I got a haircut!!!  Isn't I pretty????

Tokyo

Going into this trip, I knew that Tokyo was going to be crazy.  It's the most massive metropolitan area in the world.  There are 12 million people in central Tokyo, and 35 million in the greater Tokyo area.  That's basically the combined populations of Sweden, Switzerland, Norway, Denmark, and Finland...5 European countries, compressed into one Asian city.  It's absolutely mental to think about.  Of course this also meant that my love of the personal bubble was no longer in existence.  If you can go more than 20 seconds without touching someone in Tokyo, you're either tiny, a hobo gypsy, or a master ninja.  Anytime you exit/enter a subway, walk through a shopping district, or visit a famous attraction, you'll be surrounded by people that can't wait to burst your bubble.  You honestly have to experience it to believe it.

I was so exhausted upon arriving that I only toured the main district I was staying in, Taito.  Each district has subsections, the most popular near me being Ueno.  I visited the main park and then ended up finding a lost Chinese kid, Do Ming, on the way back to my capsule hotel.  I had similar issues finding the hostel, so combining that knowledge with his deer in headlights look, it was clear I should help him out.   After I showed him how to get there, we grabbed some dinner and strolled through the shopping streets, but since I hate my siblings, most notably Bryn, I didn't feel the need to purchase them anything.  

The next day I headed to Asakusa to check out the Sensoji Temple and it's corresponding market.  It's probably 500 meters from the subway exit to the temple entrance, but it takes ten minutes to get there.  Seriously, there are that many vendors and visitors.  My next destination for the day was the Imperial Palace, which is famous for having some of the best gardens in Japan.  I got a little unlucky on my timing, however, as the gardens were shut down for maintenance.  There are about eight access bridges that run across a massive moat into the main palace area, but none were open.

Sardines in a can

Sensoji Temple

This is the only way I travel

Look at the pervy look in his eye, it's like looking into a mirror

That evening, I was invited to a mini University of Northern Iowa reunion led by one of my old classmates, Hiroko.  She gathered a few of her friends that had ties to UNI and made a reservation at a place that served traditional Japanese cuisine.  It can be a little daunting to stare at a giant platter of raw fish, but I love sushi, so I tried to concentrate on that.  I thought that platter was our complete dinner, but out of nowhere several other plates started coming out!  Japanese meals seem to come in waves, almost endlessly.  In addition to the food we also shared some beers, shochu, and sake.  When the bill came, I wasn't allowed to pay for anything.  Everyone just waved me off and told me that's not how it's done in Japan.  Everyone that knows me, knows that I cannot be in debt to people, it drives me mad.  So we all better meet again so I can buy them some American BBQ!!! 

Bring it on

The Dinner Crew:  Marina, Yuri, Takao, Hiroko, Hitomi

I apparently couldn't get enough raw fish in my life, so the next morning I headed to the Tsukiji Market, which is the most famous fish market in Tokyo.  After walking around for a little while, I felt a sudden hunger and decided to eat from one of the random stands.  Two stands appeared to be exceedingly popular, one serving ramen and the other offering a mystery rice dish.  I was intrigued by the mystery, thinking it was a fish curry of some kind.  When my turn finally came to order, I was informed that the main dish was actually cow stomach.  The lady taking orders told me I could get normal beef instead, but I was already committed to trying the local dish and my stubbornness dictated I follow through.  Perhaps the most daunting thing about the meal was the fact that stomach isn't just one texture - there's four distinct parts to a cow's stomach, which means four different flavors, colors, and textures.  It was absolutely terrible in every way imaginable.  A few times I had to take a bite of plain white rice just to get the flavor out of my mouth, but in the end, I vanquished the entire bowl, because that's what a man does.

After throwing down instead of up, I went to one last shrine, the Meiji Shrine.  It was located in it's own little park area, so I ended up just chilling out and reading after getting my fill of ancient temple life.  That night I met up with Hiroko and two more of her friends for dinner at a fancy French restaurant.  I was at least allowed to pay this time, after explaining that the vastness of my wealth is directly correlated with my ability to convert Celsius temperatures to Fahrenheit. 

This girl was definitely into me, but she was also holding a giant tray of squid jerky...

What the heck is this thing and why is it in a fish market?

So disgusting, just look at all the different sizes, shapes, and colors.

Like a true Asian, I finished

And as I gently sip this drink, I think about my lack of future and all the places I could learn to fall in love....

There was only one final activity that I had to do in Japan before I could leave, something that I promised a friend I would do.  That's right folks, it was time for Japants Off, Dance Off Round Three:  Sean vs. The Onsen.  If you don't already know the term onsen, then perhaps you know this one:  Bath house.  That's right, I subjected myself to a Japanese bath house, a place where a bunch of dudes sit together in hot springs/hot tubs...Completely naked.  Luckily for you, I didn't take any pictures.

My first real question with the idea of an Onsen is:  Why do people enjoy this?  I mean why isn't there a co-mingling of genders?  I'd much rather be clothed and have women around then be stuck in a hot pool full of naked old dudes. Can you imagine all the pubes floating around in there?  It's completely unsanitary.  Do you really want to sit down on some rock that a bunch of other dudes bums have touched?  I mean what's the level of cleanliness here.  I stay in shape so I can use my body to impress women, not to flaunt it around for a bunch of dudes.  This onsen system needs some serious reevaluating.  You need men and women together, we're puzzle pieces, complimentary.  

Though I didn't enjoy the onsen experience on the whole, I will say that being completely naked in a hot spring feels pretty damn good.  The Japanese also start going to onsens as children, so it's not weird for them like it is for a Westerner.  No one looks at you or anything, but when someone next to you stands up and there's water splashing around, it just freaks you out.  I don't some sort of ball splash water touching me, it's a lot to bear (...and bare).

Freshly garmented, I made my way towards Shibuya and Shinjuku, which are two of the more futuristic looking districts in Tokyo.  I started with Shibuya, which immediately made me think of Times Square, though I've never been there.  As soon as you exit the metro station you're greeted with giant screens flashing all around you.  The crosswalks have hundreds of people on them, I've never seen anything so hectic.  I was also on a side quest to dine at the main Japanese fast food chains, so I ate at Mos Burger and Freshness Burger for my first and second lunches.  Both were legit, more along the lines of premium fast food burgers.  

When I arrived in Shinjuku, I came out on the government side of the station instead of the shopping side, and spotted a massive skyscraper, so I walked towards it.  It ended up being a government building that offered free service to a 45th floor observatory with 360 views of Tokyo!  Not a bad random find :).  After getting my fill of the view, I walked back to the station and headed towards the city side.  I grabbed dinner at CoCo Cury House to complete my day of Japanese fast food before heading to Tokyo Tower.

This is how I stay up to date on my World Cup scores

I am a bird that's in need of grounding.  I'm built to fly away, I never learned how to stay

Such a cool city

Not too shabby for a free view

It's crazy too look at, almost looks like it spreads infinitely...it probably will someday

There are a lot of places in Tokyo to see the night skyline, but Tokyo Tower is the original spot, so I decided to check it out.  It's design is based on the Eiffel Tower, so it is already pretty spectacular in itself.  Tokyo Tower had the same problem as Seoul Tower, in terms of the glass being ultra reflective, but the glare wasn't quite as bad since they keep the inside as dim as possible.  It also has a bunch of signage telling you which district you are staring at and how far away it is, which is kind of cool.  After seeing the city lights from afar, I decided to go check them out in Shinjuku one last time before heading back to my awesome capsule.

I spent my entire last day purchasing souvenirs, as I was on a mission to get some cool Asian stuff for my family members back home.  I even dumped my sleeping bag to make room for their gifts.  Ungrateful bastards, they'd never do the same for me.  

Tokyo Tower

This thing was built in 1958...It's crazy to think about how old some of these structures are and yet they still blow your mind.

I love how the main roads converge to make a massive, running starfish

Shinjuku at night

Won't you kiss me on this midnight street, sweep me off my feet.  Singin, "Ain't this life so sweet?" 

My next and final stop outside of the states was Fiji.  I wanted to find a place that I could just chill out for a month instead of backpacking across another country.  I thought getting in would be a breeze due to the laid back, island culture...Oh how I was wrong.  But that's a story for another blog...


Random GoPros

Still refusing to cut my hair :)

Tsukiji Market

Meiji Shrine

My life encapsulated...literally

Mos Burger!! I have no idea what that drink is, I just pointed

Shibuya

Tokyo Metropolitan Government Building #1

You know you lead a spoiled life when being on the 45th floor doesn't seem that high to you....

Goodbye bubble

I haven't played video games in years...I feel a longing

With my final caption of Asia, I have no choice.  Asia - Heat of the Moment