Budapest, Lisbon, and the End of Europe

Our work experience in the UK was far from great (That's the nicest way I can describe it), so I figured we should do something special to celebrate Sarah's last day and the start of our Brexit!  Therefore, on the Thursday before her final day, I said eff it, and booked flights to the two cities highest on our European travel list.  I even splurged on actual hotel rooms!  So after wrapping things up on Friday, we caught a flight to Budapest!  I've been waiting over two years to use those lyrics in my blog!  Finally!

Budapest used to be two cities, Buda and Pest.  Kind of like Sarah and I, one of us is calm and Asian like a Buddha and the other is a bit of a pest.  Just saying.  We didn't get in until 1 AM, so night one consisted of getting to the hotel and passing out.  Day two started with breakfast, and let me tell you about what a man orders at breakfast.  A man doesn't start his day with coffee or juice or a protein shake, he drinks a liter of beer.  I mean, that's probably how alcoholics start their day as well, but I'll reflect on that later.  

Our hotel was on the Pest side of the river, so we decided to wander up to the Parliament building since that is the big tourist thing to do.  Along the way we found the typical European city stuff; the winding alleyways full of restaurants and bars, the opera house, and the giant church (St. Stephen's Basilica).  However once you cross a bridge over to the Buda (Sean) side, things become a little more unique, and a whole lot more handsome.  There is a gigantic castle area that sits atop a hill and for a few quid you can actually pick up a bow and start shooting arrows at stuff!  How cool is that?  Going to an actual castle and practicing your archery... There is so much cool stuff do in this world.  A few miles outside the castle, you can also hike up through a wooded area to get to a place called Gellert Hill which probably has the best 360 views of the city.

My house in Budapest, my-my hidden treasure chest, golden grand piano, my beautiful castillo, you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all.

My acres of land that I've achieved, it may be hard for you to stop and believe, but for you-oo. you-oo I'd leave it all.  Oh for you-oo, you-oo I'd leave it all

Oh give me one good reason why I should never make a change...Baby if you hold me then all of this will go away

My many artifacts, the list goes on.  If you just say the words, I'll, I'll up and run.  Oh to you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all.  Oh for you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all.

Oh give me one good reason why I should never make a change...Baby if you hold me then all of this will go away
Oh give me one good reason why I should never make a change...Baby if you hold me then all of this will go away

My friends and family, they don't understand.  They fear they'll lose so much if you take my hand, but for you-oo, you-oo I'd lose it all.  Oh for you-oo, you-oo I'd lose it all.

After spending all day wandering around the city and climbing up too many hills and steps, we decided to take it easy and do a night time cruise along the River Danube.  The cruises range from high end ships featuring live bands and five course meals to party boats featuring unlimited beer and pizza.  We went somewhere in the middle with one free drink and a buffet dinner.  We have seen a lot of cities at night, but Budapest is definitely one of the more memorable because of the way all the buildings are lit up.  On one side is the giant castle and on the other is one of Europe's largest parliament buildings, so it makes for some pretty cool views.

Now, when I hit a buffet, I'm going to eat some of everything.  Sarah just eats enough to get full, which I openly mock her for, I mean, it's an all you can eat buffet.  Why would you not eat until you reach an uncomfortable level of full?  However, based on the 16 hours that followed that gluttonous rampage and the total evacuation of my bowels, I learned that I should probably listen to her (I won't though).  After exiting the boat, it was a race against time to get back to the hotel before I pooped my pants.  Now normally you either go number one or number two, but I found a third option that night - Satan's Apocalypse.   I literally spent the entire night alternating between number three, crying in the fetal position, and wanting my life to end.  

The Parliament building lit up at night

We couldn't figure out if it was birds or bats flying around the building...If you ever go to Budapest, let me know what you think.

I wasn't in the best shape the next morning, so we decided to stick to indoor places that had toilets nearby!  After purchasing a gatorade and crescent to get some energy, we went to the Hungarian National Museum, which was conveniently located around the corner from our hotel!  The museum was actually pretty cool and I was feeling a little better, so we decided to eat lunch before making our way to the airport to catch a flight to our next country: Portugal.  

Sarah had been wanting to go to Lisbon because they have one of the highest rated aquariums in the world.  The Oceanario de Lisboa has one massive central tank, with a ton of smaller tanks and outdoor exhibits encircling it.  So you literally spend the entire time circling one massive tank...And we were there for nearly two hours if that gives you an idea of how huge it is!  They also had a special pool for two otters, which were probably the funnest animals to watch!  It's definitely the most impressive aquarium I've ever been too and I reckon it's the best place to visit if you're in Lisbon for a day.

Do you know why fish don't like soccer?  Because they're afraid of nets!  Bahaha, there's more where that came from.

Look at this little jerk flipperin me off.

Much like me, this otter is annoyingly adorable.

How does a fish bathe you ask?  Well this guy swims to the surface of the water and then lays flat on it's side so it can sunbathe.  Thus he is called a Sunfish.  That's right, I explained how a fish bathes, and I didn't even need to use a sponge.  I'm that good.

Probably one of Sarah's best shots to date.  A close up of this colorful little guy

After leaving the aquarium, we decided to head into the city center to see what cool touristy stuff there was to do, but literally everything was closed!  If you're ever planning a visit to Lisbon, don't go on a Monday, because nothing is open.  We were, however, able to find a little boat/pop up bar along the pier, so I grabbed some beer, Sarah grabbed some wine, and we chilled out whilst watching the sunset.  Not a bad way to live life.

After the sun went down, we climbed up a huge hill and found a cool little restaurant area, but the place we wanted to eat at had a two hour wait!  Based on the menu and the amount of people trying to get in, we figured it had to be amazing and decided to wait it out.  Luckily it was in a fun part of town, so we were able to wander around whilst killing time and even found the oldest bookstore in Europe!  The wait was definitely worth it, as our dinner spot was effing delicious.  Everything was ordered as Tapas style sharing platters, but the portions were massive.  If we ever make it back to Lisbon, we're definitely wandering the alleyways until we find that place again!

Jeronimos Monastery.  It was closed.

Belem Tower.  It was closed.

Praca do Comercio. There was nothing to close (Otherwise they would have).

We weren't really that impressed with Lisbon, so instead of spending another day there, Sarah grabbed some travel pamphlets and suggested we go to a place called Sintra.  It was only a 40 minute train out of the city, so we figured it was worth a shot.  We didn't really know what to expect, but knew it was going to be awesome when we arrived and saw a massive castle sitting atop a hill.  I'm not one to pass up on a castle, mostly because I like to see how people way poorer than me live.  Until you live in a palace, you're not really someone that I would want to associate with.

The majority of the castle was in ruins, so we were mostly just walking along a perimeter wall, but the views from the top were wicked.  Our castle ticket also got us into a palace that was only about a mile away, so we decided to hike over and check it out even though we weren't really expecting much.  However, once we got there, we realized that place is straight out of a Disney movie.  It's a massive, multi-colored palace with crazy sculptures, winding ramps, huge outdoor balconies, and insane views of the surrounding countryside.  I would go as far as saying it's my favorite palace in Europe, both because it was unexpected and because it wasn't ostentatious in design.  It wasn't meant to be imposing and impressive, it was just awesome.  Colorful, friendly, inviting.  It felt like the owners created a palace that they would love, not caring about making something that would impress others.

This would be the castle that you signed up to guard back in the day.  I mean who the hell is going to attack you?  That's just free money.

Pena Palace - This place was incredible, way cooler than the monochrome castles we've seen in other cities.

It looked pretty average from afar, but once you get closer, you realize how massive it is (Not unlike a certain part of my body... Wow I was talking about my biceps.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  I mean really, this is a classy blog.  I can't believe you'd even go there.)

If I end up looking like this guy when I get old, I will be very happy.  And Sarah will be so lucky, especially when I do my Saturday morning wake up dances

I had to keep working in the UK for a few weeks longer than Sarah, so unfortunately our trip had to end so we could fly back to London.  We did end up taking one final UK trip so Sarah could see York before coming home to the U.S., but that's a story for another blog...


Random GoPros

St. Stephen's Basilica

Buda Castle Gardens

The Castle of the Moors

I love the clouds in this photo.  I would honestly rather sit outside and watch the clouds for an hour than watch Netflix.  I love - love, love, love this world.  

The walls are boring me, paint it like you always dreamed it'd be.  Throw like Pollock.  Fuck the apartment. Oh paint it like you always dreamed it'd be...

A rainbow kitchen floor, you're laughing like you always dreamed you'd be. Handprints on the ceiling where our dreams will reach.  And I don't know what you wish... But if you want it, you can have it, every color that you see, see, see-ee. 

 Sarah and Sean's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps

I knocked out our one good photo of the trip on day one, so I could ruin all the photos on subsequent days....

I wish you could have seen where this arrow went... We are lucky she didn't impale someone

Food poisoned yet again.  Luckily I was able to harness the power of the spirit animal on my shirt to overcome it.

I don't know how she's so oblivious to me taking these photos...

I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed, I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head.  I'll take the kids to school, wave them goodbye.  And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night... When you looked over your shoulder, for a minute I forget that I'm older.  I want to dance with you right now. And you look as beautiful as ever, and I swear that every day you get better.  You make me feel this way somehow.

Our last mainland Europe adventure.... For now ;)

I've been really trying baby.  Trying to hold back these feelings for soooo long.  And if you feel, like I feel baby, c'mon.  Ohh, c'mon.  Let's get it on.  Ahhh Babe. Let's get it on.  Sugar!  Sugar!  Let's get it on.  Sugar.  Let's get it on! (Listen to James Arthur's cover... So good)

Life is crazy and hectic at times, but there's always something to smile about :)

My house in Budapest, my-my hidden treasure chest, golden grand piano, my beautiful castillo, you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all.  Oh for you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all....

Jungle Hiking

After getting a solid night's sleep, I was prepared for a long day of hiking through the jungle.  However, I soon realized I'd left all of my wet clothes out to dry... in the pouring rain...and I wonder why they call me SLowe.   We also got to experience coffee that was harvested directly from the forest with our breakfast, and for the second time that morning, I experienced an erection.   As we finished up our eggs and bread/jam, the ten year old girl from the family we stayed with decided it was a good idea to bring us the wild animal she caught that morning.

Crazy River Otter (and yes it took me 5 blog posts to realize i could enlarge pictures...screw you!)

My slightly less attractive brother, Josh, getting warrior designs painted on his face

After getting our faces painted we were ready to roll.  Our group divided into two factions, English speaking (American) and Spanish speaking (Chilean).  Since our tour guide had been calling us the pumas for the first day of the trip, the Chileans' tour guide decided to dub their group "the sexy pumas" to one up us.  To get my revenge I dropped a deuce on the narrowest portion of the trail so they would have to become the poo shoe pumas (Or simply the Poomas, if you prefer).  AMERICA!

Our large group and the local family we stayed with

Day two may have been my favorite day of the trip as we hiked through the jungle, around mountains, and had spectacular views of the river valley below.  You could even say they were...Amazong.  Alright, enough PUNishment, I'll get back to the story.  Our tour guide, Papapuma, gave us an overview of the land and explained that the ten year old girl, who caught the river otter, hikes 1.5 hours up to the top of the mountain to go to school every morning.  Realizing I was shown up by a little girl yet again, I plodded along in shame.

Take that little girl, your legs are too short to climb up here... bahahaha

If you fall, you die... unfortunately Bryn stayed afoot

As we hiked through the jungle we also saw some crazy, upside down flower that is used to create hallucinogens.  From reading my blog you probably realize that giving me drugs is a bad idea, so I was forced to trek on sober.  However I had heard that licking a toad can get you high, so I started to wonder...what about a giant snail?

For the second time that day, I found a meaning for the term, "snail trail"...   SNAILED IT!

After a quick stop in a town along the way for lunch, we were told we had an hour of downtime before we started up again.  Fearing we wouldn't get a chance to take some pictures of the river, Craig and I spent the entire hour trekking down a path to get pictures while everyone else napped.  It turned out the joke was on us, as the next three hours of the hike were along the river.  Universe 37, Sean 0. 

One of the many streams we crossed

Eventually we made our way to the other side of the river along a bridge I can only describe as being mildly stable as it swayed from side to side as you walked along it.  I hadn't seen girls swayed so easily since the last time I'd taken my shirt off.  After crossing (and grabbing a much needed gatorade), we made our way to some new terrain, which was basically just a rocky path along the river.  Once you get to the end of the path you get to cross the river again, only this time we were pulleyed across in a cart.

You fall in the river, you die... unfortunately Bryn made it across unscathed

After making it across, everyone was pretty exhausted, as we had been hiking for about six hours.  Luckily we only had 20 minutes until we reached the hot springs according to Papapuma... which, as we had learned to convert his time estimates, meant we were only 45 minutes away from the hot springs!  It was a glorious moment when we arrived, with the only downfall being you couldn't drink while in the hot springs.

When I heard hot springs I was thinking some pools of muddy hot water, but it was more like a resort!

As I slowly sauntered towards the hot springs, I worried about the repercussions of having two forces of scorching hotness drawing so close to each other.  I could feel the suspense building as all eyes approached my entrance, and as my left foot entered the water, I heard a collective exhalation from the crowd and the single caw of a condor, who was unsure if this sudden rise in temperature was a sign of Armageddon.  As my washboard abs graced the waters, a giant fog of steam spread throughout the mountains, allowing every animal in the forest to experience what it's like to be in a sauna.  At this point it was clear that if I stayed in those waters any longer everyone else would boil to death, so I had no choice but to get out and drink a beer instead, thus lowering my body temperature to a level mere mortals could survive.  

After hanging out in the hot springs for about an hour, we all got out and took the most amazing showers ever.  On the far edge of the springs is a landing where all the dirty pool water rushes out like a waterfall shower.  Luckily Leslee was on top of things and had enough shampoo and body wash for everyone.  Afterwards, we had a few beers and South American Doritos before electing to take a bus to to our hostel instead of spending another hour hiking (which likely meant 3 hours in papapuma time).

Luckily the rain didn't start until after our hike!

After getting dinner and a few beers, we decided it was time to have a dance off with the Sexy Poomas.  Little did we know, Josh had picked up all sorts of dance moves during his travels and our other American member, Kathryn, had mastered the creepy slow pelvic thrust.  With such a deadly array of moves, we lit up the dance floor... and by dance floor I mean the open area of the hostel that the roof didn't cover.  Not wanting to be shown up, the Chileans busted out dance moves that I can only describe as being Nsync.  There were no winners of the dance contest, but anyone watching can confirm there were clearly losers.

The sexy pumas tearing it up on the dance floor

After our dance off, a few of us decided to take it to the next level and hit up a disco club.  Craig tore it up crip-walking and the Chileans showed us their dance off moves were just the tip of the iceberg.  It was also during this time that we realized how Josh managed to afford all of his trips abroad, as he displayed moves on the stripper pole that I can only describe as being erotically charged.  Realizing that no nightmare could compare to what I had just witnessed and an overwhelming urge to burn the images from my mind, I decided to head back to our hostel and sleep it off.  We needed the rest as we would spend the next day zip lining, but that is a story for another blog.