Budapest, Lisbon, and the End of Europe

Our work experience in the UK was far from great (That's the nicest way I can describe it), so I figured we should do something special to celebrate Sarah's last day and the start of our Brexit!  Therefore, on the Thursday before her final day, I said eff it, and booked flights to the two cities highest on our European travel list.  I even splurged on actual hotel rooms!  So after wrapping things up on Friday, we caught a flight to Budapest!  I've been waiting over two years to use those lyrics in my blog!  Finally!

Budapest used to be two cities, Buda and Pest.  Kind of like Sarah and I, one of us is calm and Asian like a Buddha and the other is a bit of a pest.  Just saying.  We didn't get in until 1 AM, so night one consisted of getting to the hotel and passing out.  Day two started with breakfast, and let me tell you about what a man orders at breakfast.  A man doesn't start his day with coffee or juice or a protein shake, he drinks a liter of beer.  I mean, that's probably how alcoholics start their day as well, but I'll reflect on that later.  

Our hotel was on the Pest side of the river, so we decided to wander up to the Parliament building since that is the big tourist thing to do.  Along the way we found the typical European city stuff; the winding alleyways full of restaurants and bars, the opera house, and the giant church (St. Stephen's Basilica).  However once you cross a bridge over to the Buda (Sean) side, things become a little more unique, and a whole lot more handsome.  There is a gigantic castle area that sits atop a hill and for a few quid you can actually pick up a bow and start shooting arrows at stuff!  How cool is that?  Going to an actual castle and practicing your archery... There is so much cool stuff do in this world.  A few miles outside the castle, you can also hike up through a wooded area to get to a place called Gellert Hill which probably has the best 360 views of the city.

My house in Budapest, my-my hidden treasure chest, golden grand piano, my beautiful castillo, you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all.

My acres of land that I've achieved, it may be hard for you to stop and believe, but for you-oo. you-oo I'd leave it all.  Oh for you-oo, you-oo I'd leave it all

Oh give me one good reason why I should never make a change...Baby if you hold me then all of this will go away

My many artifacts, the list goes on.  If you just say the words, I'll, I'll up and run.  Oh to you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all.  Oh for you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all.

Oh give me one good reason why I should never make a change...Baby if you hold me then all of this will go away
Oh give me one good reason why I should never make a change...Baby if you hold me then all of this will go away

My friends and family, they don't understand.  They fear they'll lose so much if you take my hand, but for you-oo, you-oo I'd lose it all.  Oh for you-oo, you-oo I'd lose it all.

After spending all day wandering around the city and climbing up too many hills and steps, we decided to take it easy and do a night time cruise along the River Danube.  The cruises range from high end ships featuring live bands and five course meals to party boats featuring unlimited beer and pizza.  We went somewhere in the middle with one free drink and a buffet dinner.  We have seen a lot of cities at night, but Budapest is definitely one of the more memorable because of the way all the buildings are lit up.  On one side is the giant castle and on the other is one of Europe's largest parliament buildings, so it makes for some pretty cool views.

Now, when I hit a buffet, I'm going to eat some of everything.  Sarah just eats enough to get full, which I openly mock her for, I mean, it's an all you can eat buffet.  Why would you not eat until you reach an uncomfortable level of full?  However, based on the 16 hours that followed that gluttonous rampage and the total evacuation of my bowels, I learned that I should probably listen to her (I won't though).  After exiting the boat, it was a race against time to get back to the hotel before I pooped my pants.  Now normally you either go number one or number two, but I found a third option that night - Satan's Apocalypse.   I literally spent the entire night alternating between number three, crying in the fetal position, and wanting my life to end.  

The Parliament building lit up at night

We couldn't figure out if it was birds or bats flying around the building...If you ever go to Budapest, let me know what you think.

I wasn't in the best shape the next morning, so we decided to stick to indoor places that had toilets nearby!  After purchasing a gatorade and crescent to get some energy, we went to the Hungarian National Museum, which was conveniently located around the corner from our hotel!  The museum was actually pretty cool and I was feeling a little better, so we decided to eat lunch before making our way to the airport to catch a flight to our next country: Portugal.  

Sarah had been wanting to go to Lisbon because they have one of the highest rated aquariums in the world.  The Oceanario de Lisboa has one massive central tank, with a ton of smaller tanks and outdoor exhibits encircling it.  So you literally spend the entire time circling one massive tank...And we were there for nearly two hours if that gives you an idea of how huge it is!  They also had a special pool for two otters, which were probably the funnest animals to watch!  It's definitely the most impressive aquarium I've ever been too and I reckon it's the best place to visit if you're in Lisbon for a day.

Do you know why fish don't like soccer?  Because they're afraid of nets!  Bahaha, there's more where that came from.

Look at this little jerk flipperin me off.

Much like me, this otter is annoyingly adorable.

How does a fish bathe you ask?  Well this guy swims to the surface of the water and then lays flat on it's side so it can sunbathe.  Thus he is called a Sunfish.  That's right, I explained how a fish bathes, and I didn't even need to use a sponge.  I'm that good.

Probably one of Sarah's best shots to date.  A close up of this colorful little guy

After leaving the aquarium, we decided to head into the city center to see what cool touristy stuff there was to do, but literally everything was closed!  If you're ever planning a visit to Lisbon, don't go on a Monday, because nothing is open.  We were, however, able to find a little boat/pop up bar along the pier, so I grabbed some beer, Sarah grabbed some wine, and we chilled out whilst watching the sunset.  Not a bad way to live life.

After the sun went down, we climbed up a huge hill and found a cool little restaurant area, but the place we wanted to eat at had a two hour wait!  Based on the menu and the amount of people trying to get in, we figured it had to be amazing and decided to wait it out.  Luckily it was in a fun part of town, so we were able to wander around whilst killing time and even found the oldest bookstore in Europe!  The wait was definitely worth it, as our dinner spot was effing delicious.  Everything was ordered as Tapas style sharing platters, but the portions were massive.  If we ever make it back to Lisbon, we're definitely wandering the alleyways until we find that place again!

Jeronimos Monastery.  It was closed.

Belem Tower.  It was closed.

Praca do Comercio. There was nothing to close (Otherwise they would have).

We weren't really that impressed with Lisbon, so instead of spending another day there, Sarah grabbed some travel pamphlets and suggested we go to a place called Sintra.  It was only a 40 minute train out of the city, so we figured it was worth a shot.  We didn't really know what to expect, but knew it was going to be awesome when we arrived and saw a massive castle sitting atop a hill.  I'm not one to pass up on a castle, mostly because I like to see how people way poorer than me live.  Until you live in a palace, you're not really someone that I would want to associate with.

The majority of the castle was in ruins, so we were mostly just walking along a perimeter wall, but the views from the top were wicked.  Our castle ticket also got us into a palace that was only about a mile away, so we decided to hike over and check it out even though we weren't really expecting much.  However, once we got there, we realized that place is straight out of a Disney movie.  It's a massive, multi-colored palace with crazy sculptures, winding ramps, huge outdoor balconies, and insane views of the surrounding countryside.  I would go as far as saying it's my favorite palace in Europe, both because it was unexpected and because it wasn't ostentatious in design.  It wasn't meant to be imposing and impressive, it was just awesome.  Colorful, friendly, inviting.  It felt like the owners created a palace that they would love, not caring about making something that would impress others.

This would be the castle that you signed up to guard back in the day.  I mean who the hell is going to attack you?  That's just free money.

Pena Palace - This place was incredible, way cooler than the monochrome castles we've seen in other cities.

It looked pretty average from afar, but once you get closer, you realize how massive it is (Not unlike a certain part of my body... Wow I was talking about my biceps.  Get your mind out of the gutter.  I mean really, this is a classy blog.  I can't believe you'd even go there.)

If I end up looking like this guy when I get old, I will be very happy.  And Sarah will be so lucky, especially when I do my Saturday morning wake up dances

I had to keep working in the UK for a few weeks longer than Sarah, so unfortunately our trip had to end so we could fly back to London.  We did end up taking one final UK trip so Sarah could see York before coming home to the U.S., but that's a story for another blog...


Random GoPros

St. Stephen's Basilica

Buda Castle Gardens

The Castle of the Moors

I love the clouds in this photo.  I would honestly rather sit outside and watch the clouds for an hour than watch Netflix.  I love - love, love, love this world.  

The walls are boring me, paint it like you always dreamed it'd be.  Throw like Pollock.  Fuck the apartment. Oh paint it like you always dreamed it'd be...

A rainbow kitchen floor, you're laughing like you always dreamed you'd be. Handprints on the ceiling where our dreams will reach.  And I don't know what you wish... But if you want it, you can have it, every color that you see, see, see-ee. 

 Sarah and Sean's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps

I knocked out our one good photo of the trip on day one, so I could ruin all the photos on subsequent days....

I wish you could have seen where this arrow went... We are lucky she didn't impale someone

Food poisoned yet again.  Luckily I was able to harness the power of the spirit animal on my shirt to overcome it.

I don't know how she's so oblivious to me taking these photos...

I'll wake you up with some breakfast in bed, I'll bring you coffee with a kiss on your head.  I'll take the kids to school, wave them goodbye.  And I'll thank my lucky stars for that night... When you looked over your shoulder, for a minute I forget that I'm older.  I want to dance with you right now. And you look as beautiful as ever, and I swear that every day you get better.  You make me feel this way somehow.

Our last mainland Europe adventure.... For now ;)

I've been really trying baby.  Trying to hold back these feelings for soooo long.  And if you feel, like I feel baby, c'mon.  Ohh, c'mon.  Let's get it on.  Ahhh Babe. Let's get it on.  Sugar!  Sugar!  Let's get it on.  Sugar.  Let's get it on! (Listen to James Arthur's cover... So good)

Life is crazy and hectic at times, but there's always something to smile about :)

My house in Budapest, my-my hidden treasure chest, golden grand piano, my beautiful castillo, you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all.  Oh for you-oo, you-oo, I'd leave it all....

Suiting Up for Hanoi and Ha Long Bay

A wise Thai suit vendor once told me, "No suit, no life."  Thus after months of having no life, I finally manned up and made my way to Hoi An, which is the suit capital of Southeast Asia.  After taking an overnight bus to get there, Kaitlin and I met a Polish girl named Ewa, who was trying to go to the main backpacker stop, Sunflower Hotel, like us.  All the dorms were full when we arrived, so we ended up heading to a place next door.  After dumping our bags, we went out for a wander and I made it my mission to get a suit for $100 or less.

Destiny brought me to the suit lady I'd been waiting my whole life to meet.  She took my measurements and crafted a suit for $80 and an undershirt for $20.  Part of me was thinking about how purchasing a suit that I'm going to destroy is a huge waste of money, and I should just donate that money to charity instead.  However, I'm going to have some epic suit photos that will provide others with joy, so it all balances out.  I wanted to get either a pink or disgusting green suit, but the girls and my suit lady vetoed it, saying it would be too ugly and I should still get something I can use in real life, so I settled with a blue suit.  Psshhh whatevs, but at least now I can say I have a suit lady!  Sure she thought I was an idiot, but she loved me.

After I put in my suit request and Ewa put in a request for a dress, I went for a run while the girls went to do a little more shopping.  I ended up running to the beach and the girls turned up on bikes about 30 minutes later.  What occurred next was quite possibly the most impressive feat of physical greatness I've ever achieved, as I ran the 3.5 kilometers back to the hostel faster than the girls rode their bikes.  Sure they had to drop them off a half kilometer from the hostel, but still.  My cardio, after years of insubordination and resentment, finally achieved a new level of fitness, otherwise known as average.  

This life's too good to last, but I'm too young to care...

This is how I plan to spend most of my 40s

Too many tourists!!!

A pair of English girls I met in Cambodia, Sharon and Aman, were staying next door at Sunflower, so we all went out for dinner at a place called Morning Glory.  We also ended up meeting with another American, Mario, who had been travelling along the same route as Kaitlin and I, for some drinks that night.  The next day we picked up our new threads and went out for Kaitlin's birthday.  My suit was immaculate, perfection suitable for encapsulating the perfection it holds when draped around my body.  As soon as it touched my flesh every woman in Southeast Asia, nay the entire world, started to tingle.

Since my Laos girls were so good to me, taking me out for a birthday breakfast, I went out and got Kaitlin a mini birthday cake to give her a little taste of home.  The circle of giving!  We ended up going to a club called Volcano.  The bar deal you ask?  $3 for unlimited mixed drinks. .  I'm not talking unlimited drinks between 8-10 pm either, I'm talking all you can drink until 3 AM.  Yeah for a mere $3 you can get blackout drunk on bottom shelf Vietnamese vodka, whiskey, and rum.  It's pretty amazing really, I couldn't even get a single vodka red bull for that back home! Vietnam, you know the way to my heart...or at least the way to my corroded liver.

A few nights in Hoi An was more than enough as there's not really a lot going on outside of getting a suit or dress made.  Around this time Kaitlin's debit card and visa both stopped working, so our fates were tied as far as destinations since she has no money without me, thus we made our journey to Hue together.  Oh my little albatross.  Ewa, on her own dime, also went to Hue, so the two of us went out for some drinks that night since she was traveling to Cambodia the next day. 

Vietnam is pretty cool, the local beers change as you move along the coast, so we got to test out the three local beers for that region.  We set off to find some food round midnight but didn't see much.  However, as we were walking a moto passed us with a speaker blaring an endless repeating announcement that sounded exactly like Charlie Brown's teacher's mumbling.  Turns out he was selling steamed buns, which were being transported in the opposite side if the speaker.  You can't fight destiny, everything you need always seems to find you.

This was actually the least creepy statue I saw in Hue...

So sick of seeing animals packed into cages in Asia, it always brings me down

Holidays and public parks, I make all my friends after dark. So tell me how the future comes, it's the moments one by one.

Kaitlin and I decided to check out the Imperial Citadel the next day before taking yet another night bus, this time to Hanoi.  The Citadel was massive, having roughly a 10 kilometer circumference of fortification walls surrounding the complex.  It was kind of shocking when you walk in, because everything is written in grammatically correct English and there was even an 80 inch plasma playing a 3D construct movie of the complex and how it was constructed and used on a daily basis.  You can definitely tell Vietnam has a bigger tourism budget than the other countries in Asia.  

We ended up meeting a German couple as we were walking around, so we checked out the adjoining museum with them and then went out for a late lunch.  At the cafe we ate at, I also spotted two girls I had met in Cambodia, such a small world.  Our bus to Hanoi didn't seem to be in the greatest shape as it broke down 1-2 times per hour on average.  The journey was supposed to take 11-12 hours, but ended up taking about 16.  It didn't really matter though, as we weren't allowed to check into our hostel until 1 PM.  Se La Vie.

You can dress up like an emperor/empress if you have some cash.  I was too poor :(

I tried to put on the mask, but my head was too big...

The Downtown Backpackers is the place to stay in Hanoi, since the city has a curfew of 11 PM, so pretty much all the backpackers congregate there.  After meeting up with Kaitlin's friend from Canada, Aiden during our first night, we met up with the Danish girls from Saigon, Kristine and Stine, and two other Danish guys they met during their travels a few days later.  We went out for dinner and of course everyone got their meal but me :'(.  It was the second time that my meal had been forgotten that day, as my breakfast order never came either.  Apparently the universe felt the need to tell me I'm fat.  While waiting for our food, we kept being accosted by old ladies to buy donuts;  One of whom drew a reply of, "No thanks brah", from me, which delighted everyone at the table.  Apparently it's not appropriate etiquette to call a 70 year old local women bro.   

Ha Long Bay is one of the most famous places to visit in Southeast Asia, so I sold my body on the street for a few nights in Hanoi and procured a 2 day 1 night cruise for $75.  Not bad for a kid with a deformed nipple and no chest hair.  With everything in place, Stine, Kristine, Kaitlin and I were able to get on the same boat together!  The tour is heavily dependent on the weather, as the fog can be so overwhelming you can barely see any of the mini islands.  On the other hand, if you get a sunny day with blue skies, you'll have photos that can make even Bruce Jenner look human.  The weather we got was somewhere in between;  It was pretty foggy, but you could still enjoy the scenery.  Besides, do you really want to see every destination in perfect weather?  It was spooky cool to see the boats sailing into the mist.

Hanoi - 8 million people, 8 million motos

She will go down with her ship, like a good captain.  You're sitting on the dock playing for an audience of one...

And all my enemies, I want their eyes to see their captain walk the plank.  I'll destroy them rank by rank

That vessel looks like a rundown piece of ship

You essentially pay for the quality of boat as every tour does the same stuff;  You check out the main cave, do some kayaking off the boat, and otherwise sail through the rocks.  If you stay 2 nights, you can spend the second night on an island, but we didn't deem it worth the cost and seeing as the weather is foggy every day, I didn't expect it to be that amazing.  I knew we were in for a treat when Stine and I had to separate from the group before boarding our boat.  It turns out there is a 15 person limit for boats when leaving the harbour, so we had to get on a mini boat and have it transfer us to our boat after it launched from the dock. 

Once we got on board, we found that instead of having 2 rooms with 2 beds each, the three girls were now sharing a room with 2 twin beds and I was sharing a room with a smelly French bastard.  My worst fears were only reconfirmed when I entered the room and he told me we had to sleep with the window open, because he was afraid the boat would sink in the middle of the night and if the window wasn't open to let in water we wouldn't find out until we were at the bottom of the ocean.  Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore.  She loves salting my wounds, oh she enjoys nothing more....

I suited up for the night's festivities and got approval from all the women and even the gay guys on the boat, so apparently I am pulling it off.  We played the usual drinking games, which didn't work so great with 17 people, but I was able to enjoy some more girly cocktails with the girls since that was the special.  Luckily the boat didn't sink overnight, as I awoke into my drafty room to the call of breakfast.  I will give props to the cooks, because the food on the boat was pretty damn good.

That is one hard co... I mean rock

Totally looks like a pair of pirates sitting on the cliff edge.  One with legs, one with stumps

Me and my ladies!  Love is the coal that makes this train roll.  Let me be your everlasting light.

Google+ felt the need to add David Hasselhoff.  I can't blame them

When the tour concluded, we were taken to a coffee shop to wait for the bus to arrive to take us back to Hanoi.  The road back was pretty sketchy, as traffic goes both ways down the same lane, because the other half of the road is under construction.  So what happens next you wonder.  BAM, for the second time in a month, I was in a car crash.  Some dude started driving directly toward the bus and made no move to swerve out of the way and ended up swiping the side of the bus.  The car didn't even stop, instead opting for a hit and run, so our driver got out of the bus and started running after the car in flip flops.  I'm not exactly sure where he estimated his foot speed, probably somewhere between a snake and a mongoose... and a panther.  But alas, he wasn't able to catch his perpetrator.  Our bus was just stopped in the middle of traffic lane for about an hour, so traffic was getting backed up around us.  The solution, traffic moved over to the other set of lanes that were closed for construction...Only in Asia.  There's no rules out here.

Men follow me to victory, we'll drop their ships, we'll sink em fast.  For when our canons roar, their bodies dance ashore.  A pirate's life for me, I won't go quietly!!!

Sometimes I feel like one of these ships, drifting through the fog and into the unknown...Lost at sea

All that drama for one busted rim?

Sapa was my only remaining destination in Vietnam, so I booked a train to get there.  My first train on this trip!  How I lasted this long using only buses, I'll never know.  Sapa is the peaceful, scenic place to visit in Northern Vietnam, so I decided to do some trekking there.  It was there I made my journey to the highest mountain in Indochina, but that's a story for another blog...

Random GoPros

A mini-model in the park, it even replicates the amount of garbage surrounding the building to perfection

A model of the Imperial Palace during it's zenith

Life could be harder....

Ha Long Bay with Stine and Kristine

I'm on a cruise, I don't want to have to do physical labor.  Why you making me kayak bro?

You can't avoid it.  Even locked in my room on the boat, they find a way to hassle me to buy their overpriced goods.  If only the window was closed!!!

Making spring rolls!  Much like their creator, mine were the best looking ;)