For some reason I completely hated Flores with every fiber of my being. When we arrived, I just wanted to have a day off to catch up on my blog, upload pictures, and complete various other admin stuff. None of which was feasible there. The internet was pure shit, the town was super small, it was insanely hot, there was no air con, and the constant assault on my ankles and feet from the mosquitoes destroyed my desire to live. I was absolutely miserable. Even trying to leave was damn near impossible. The airline sites wouldn't work on my computer and my iPhone was still broken so I couldn't book a ticket on there. Replacement smart phones were a few hundred dollars, so I couldn't get one (blessing in disguise), the food was way too expensive, it was just the last place I wanted to be. I'm sure my old coworkers can imagine how I was by recalling my ritualistic 3 o'clock whine time :).
All four of us decided to leave after being there for 2 days. Alex going further into Flores, and the remaining 3 of us catching flights back to Bali, with David and I catching an additional connection to Lombok afterwards. We took a local airline called Merpati, which was unfathomably awesome. They have a Sky Mall type of magazine, except everything in the magazine is available for purchase in flight. I got knock off beats by Dre for $4... they sound so awful, they're amazing! I also bought some sweet blue and pink hello kitty-esque combination pad/wire locks. How cool is that - A commercial airline selling counterfeit headphones? When we got to Bali we said our goodbyes to Leo and then made our way to the next terminal for our flight to Lombok.
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| The Merpati twin prop supreme...I'm 90% sure the engine was made out of Legos |
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| My airline purchases...best $9 I've ever spent |
After getting into Lombok, we took a 90 minute cab ride to the port town of Bangsal. The price for the cab was $35 total for the two of us and included a public boat back to the Gilis. I wanted to go to Gili Air, but the only boat left went to Gili T...It's Indonesia, what can you do? On the boat I ran into a lady from my first hostel in Sanur, Big Pineapple...Such a small world There was also a German girl, Olivia, on the boat that decided to tag along with us in finding a hostel. We ended up in bungalows at a place called Soundwaves for under $10 each, however I was forced to share a queen size bed with David...I can never win.
That night we went to a dance club and I randomly ran into the English bloke that I went on a hunt for 2 grapes and a strawberry with the previous time I was in Gili. I also ran into two Canadian girls I had met previously, who loved my use of the word howdy. The next morning I woke up at 6:30 for some reason and was finally able to restore my iPhone using David's computer! However, since he is from Norway, my iphone was restored in Norwegian. So now I'm the guy with a Norwegian iPhone. That night I also ran into another Big Pineapple alumnus, Lani from New Zealand. The world is so small...it's madness. I was also sold fake pringles, which was a veritable low blow. The can was legit, but the top paper cover was white instead of colored with the word pringles written over and over. And the chips inside weren't even full ovals, they were closer to circles...I mean if you're going to sell me fake goods, at least make an effort to disguise it, that's all I ask.
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| In no universe does that constitute a Pringle |
After 2 nights on Gili T, we made our way to Gili Air, which was an uber relaxed little island. I immediately designated it as my shirtless island, as I literally didn't wear a shirt any of the 3 days I was there. Immediately after getting off the boat, we were solicited with offers of hostels, which David imediately agreed to see... You just gotta say no bro, it's almost always a waste of your time. Thus we walked into middle of island, past a bull that was grazing on some grass, until we stumbled upon a sequestured cabana, which we ultimately turned down, because it was in the middle of nowhere. We eventually found a room, but once again we had to share a queen size bed, complete with mosquito net this time...What's wrong with the 2 twin bed system, that's all I want to know. I ended up hiking to the opposite side of the island after we checked in to catch the sunset. I took a crazy route through the middle of the island and had no idea where I was going, but on an island you can circle in an hour, you don't really fear getting lost.
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| Gili Air Sunset |
Once I got back we grabbed dinner and started walking around the island. Being shirtless, the women immediately flocked to me and we were offered a second free dinner with a group of divers. We were also invited to a party on the other side of the island, but it was a 30 minute trip and I was way too lazy to walk there and back again since I was planning to wake up early for the sunrise.
The next day I caught the sunrise before switching hostels and going for a run. I also bought a few trinkets, including a necklace that I was told has the symbol for Gili T, but is more likely a botched attempt at carving the Trix Rabbit. My time on Gili Air needed to end however, because there was a volcanic mountain waiting for me, Rinjani; The second highest mountain in Indonesia.
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| Bon Voyage |
Once I arrived in Lombok, I was immediately offered a million rides, tours, etc. even though I was headphoned up. I eventually got an offer to do the tour for 2 million rupiah, but haggled down to 1.3, which included a free night's stay and round trip fare back to Gili. Could I have done better? Yes, was it worth lugging my gear around for another hour and listen to several more sales pitches to potentially save 10 dollars? Nope. A chubbier guy that remembered me from the boat trip to Flores also asked me for my shirt, which was odd since I wasn't even wearing one. I was weirded out and intrigued, so I gave him a dirty shirt that was sitting in my computer bag and he immediately put it on. It was the weirdest thing ever, but after being in Lombok a little longer, I realized everyone just begs nonstop, even if they don't need what they beg for. It makes you feel really sorry for them, that they are instilled in a culture of begging instead of a culture of earning. They'll never know what they're capable of doing on their own, it's really unfair.
Eventually I got transferred over to Senaru, a town close to the base of the mountain. The hostel itself had some amazing views, but was the worst place I've ever stayed in my life. While getting acquianted with the place, I noticed that the lock on my door didn't work, there were mice running along the roof of the main building, geckos lined the walls to feast on bugs, and an absurd amount of cockroaches, ants, and massive beatles called my room home. Realizing I had to sleep in this shit hole, I followed my memory map back to Bolivia, where the pube count was higher than the thread count of the sheets and told myself I've been in worse.... And then I saw a cockroach fly.
Immediately visions of every pretty girl I've ever met started flashing before my eyes and I prepared myself for death. After 45 minutes of killing insects non-stop, I finally settled on the bed, where a giant beetle fell from the ceiling onto the pill next to me. To make matters even better, I also became aware of the shitty bathroom smell, mostly because there was still a turd floating in the brown toilet water. At one point I saw a group of 50 ants crawl up to a cockroach I had killed and carry the body along the wall back to their den. That whole night I laid in fear of a cockroach flying in my mouth, a giant beetle to crawling inside my underwear, and a mouse shitting on my eyelids, which were closed tight in fear. Staying there may have been the most frightening experience of my life. I could only hope that the views from the top of the Volcano would overcome the bout of malaria and bed bugs infestation I had surely received from that hell hole.
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| The only good thing about the hostel was the view |
The next morning, I woke up in a pool of urine and tears before packing my belongings. I had to store one bag at the hostel for the 3 days I was hiking, so I made sure to utilize one of my new hello kitty wire locks to secure all the zippers on my bag, because I had no faith in the security of that place.
Our group was to be 3 couples, a guy from Jersey named Craig, myself, and two mystery people that were going to meet us later in the afternoon. However, a British couple backed out immediately before we left for the starting point, because the girl was really nervous about doing the hike. Ergo our only remaining couples were Kiley (Canadian) and Gunda (German); and Wesley (Amsterdam) and Suki Pinky (Gili Air!). Our guide for the trek, Adi, was only 24, so it was kind of like being led by one of your mates... One of your mates that's a horny pervert.
We made it about 30 seconds past the hostel before our transport vehicle broke down, because it was out of petrol. A few minutes later an 8 year old showed up on a moped with some gas, so we could fuel up....This place is crazy. Afterwards we drove to our starting point and hiked for a few hours before arriving at the checkpoint where we waited for our two mystery people to show up. We had a running joke from the night before that thy would be beautiful Swedish girls and Craig and I could each share a tent with one... But of course two guys showed up and my spirits were decimated like a log cabin getting hit by an meteorite.
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| We walked through fog and rain the 75% of the time! |
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| Our tour guide Adi, smoking between stops |
The rest of the day's hike boasted a moderate incline, but was made more difficult by the spattering rain. The trek had some amazing views, so I made a few time lapses when the weather cleared since I had a decent lead on the group. Once we started to gather for dinner, I began to notice objects moving about the shadows...and surely enough there were mice everywhere. There were literally hundreds of them gathering around our campsite, each lured closer than the next from the aroma of our Mie Goreng. If the mice weren't enough, I got stuck sharing a tent with the Snoreapatamus, a Norwegian named Harald. Total hours of sleep after night one: 0.7
Day two started with another vertical hike, because for unknown reasons we camped 20 minutes below the normal campsite at the rim...the campsite that contained a pair of beautiful blonde-haired, blue-eyed twins from New Jersey... I don't even want to talk about it. The views from the crater rim and volcano were amazing. I hadn't looked at any pictures of the hike ahead of time because I wanted it to be a surprise, thus my jaw dropped as my eyes rose to the landscape unfolding before me.
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| Sean Claude Van Damme |
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| @Cory Gassner - Do you even lift bro? #ScrawnySeanie |
After a few minutes of hanging out at the rim, we started descending down to the lake. It was dangerously steep at times, but it was welcome respite from the uphill. There was even a random dog leading the way at one point. During this time I also realized that the constant hiking motion had summoned a need deep within my bowels, the need to evacuate them. As I looked around, I realized the forest was at least 20 minutes of hiking away and I simply couldn't make it that far. In the immortal words of my brother in law...This was happening. Thus I found a grouping of rocks that were slightly elevated, creating a half-meter deep crevice to shield others from seeing what was happening below my crouched down waistline. I was heavily under the belief that this was the worst place I'd ever had to poop in my life...a theory that was short-lived, but more on that later.
After another 30 minutes or so I made it to the lake, where, for the second time in two days, I ran into an American from San Francisco, Alex, who decided to do the hike without a tour guide. He didn't end up going to the summit though, because he only had 2 days instead of the required 3...What a crazy bastard, hiking up with a tent and sleeping bag and all his gear. After chilling out at the lake for a bit we headed to the hot springs. The hot water felt amazing after all the hiking we'd done and there were multi-leveled waterfalls to behold. It wasn't a resort type of hot spring at all; It was completely natural. Its beauty, a natural byproduct of its existence. There was also a portion of the cliff about 6 meters up (20 feet) that you could jump off, so absolutely I did that. As did Craig, German Pierre, Wesley and Suki. Suki Pinky also constantly teased me about there being women along the path...which was always a lie! My emotions, the idle playthings of women.
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| Hot spring waterfalls |
After lunch we hiked up the mountainside, which was supposed to take three hours, but I'm a real man, so it only took me two! It started out really easy, but soon turned crazy as the rain began to pick up. I had lost my rain cover for my bag somewhere on the trek, so I had to bust out the disposable poncho I kept in my bag for emergencies. The combo of rain and climbing was ruthless! Everyone was like, "No way could you do this in Europe without helmets and actual climbing gear", but it's Indonesia. Shit's crazy, but you have to love these kinds of experiences.
Pierre and I were the first two up, with him being slightly ahead of me. Since I finished with the porters I knew our campsite was below the other ones and Pierre had already passed it, so I set off on a journey to find him. When I walked up the hill, the path forked left and right. A few people from the groups ahead of us thought he went right, so I walked 15 mins before heading back and sure enough as I got back to the fork someone said to me, "oh sorry man, I saw him on the left". F my life! When I got back to our camp he was already in one of the tents taking a nap...Grrrr. After a few minutes the others started arriving at camp and Adi asked me if I lost something...Turns out I didn't lose my rain cover, that bastard stole it. After dinner, we all took an early night, because we had to wake up at 2 AM to begin our final ascent to the top of the mountain.
After sleeping for approximately eleven minutes, 2 AM arrived and we were roused from our slumber for some tea and crackers to fuel the final leg of the journey. You didn't have to carry your gear with you, but I had to since I had the big camera and tripod :(. We left around 3 AM and Adi told us the climb had three waves, with part one being uphill and difficult; Two being flat; And 3 being the a near vertical climb. Pierre and I got the go ahead to take off on our own during part 2, so we raced ahead in hopes that we could catch the sunrise.
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| Me realizing I was missing the sunrise...the sadness that ensues...that is when I start to lose |
The final ascent was the second most daunting task of my life, losing only to climbing the 5000 steps to Huayna Picchu. It was a 75 degree incline that literally stretched into the clouds. The ground was akin to soft sand, so every time you took two steps forward, you slid back one. As I was going up the final third, I realized I was going to have to poop and it was going to be one of the worst experiences of my life, because one, there wasn't going to be any privacy, to either side was a drop off the side of the mountain, so my only option was to go on the main path and hope no one passed by. Reason two, it's extremely cold and windy as you climb to the top, only a few degrees above freezing. After my mission was completed, I deftly buried my business under some rocks, but then came disposing of my toilet paper. My idea was to throw it off the side of the mountain where it could disintigrate in peace, but sure enough, as soon as I threw it the wind picked up and it pelted me right in the face. So here I am, halfway up a mountain with my pants down and my used toilet paper blowing against the front my face. My life is ridiculous. Do these things happen to other people?
About 5 minutes after I started hiking again the twins showed up behind me, luckily oblivious to what I'd just done. Those girls were in insane shape, they did the final climb in 2 hours...it took most people 3.5. Once I got to the top I reaized it was 3 germans, then the twins followed by myself and a girl from New York. 4 women, 3 men. #RespectForWomen #RespectForGermans #NoRespectForTheBrits #MERICA!
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The sunrise from the top of Rinjani
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| Steamy Volcano |
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| How amazing is that, being above the clouds... |
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| It was like viewing the sky from an airplane |
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The views at the top were unbelievable. There was the sunrise over the ocean on one side and the volcano smoking with Bali and the Gili Islands in the background on the other. I also brought some cookies to the top, which was a popular decision with my fellow climbers...though champagne would have been better :). Craig, Wesley, Suki, and I took some pictures at the top with Adi to celebrate our accomplishment and then started the descent back to base camp.
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| It's all snarls during the climb, but it's all smiles at the top |
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| I had to take a pic via cell phone...because you can't instagram from your computer...so stupid! |
Coming back down was insane, as you can pseudo-slide through the loose ground. Adi ran down, that kid's insane. The only downfall of the downhill was that my shoes were a half size small, so my toes were getting squashed. Once we got back to our tents we received hot tea, fried bananas, and toast with jelly. Our camp was also infested with monkeys, because the porters left banana peels amongst the rubbish.
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| Mice, Dogs, Monkeys...Our campsites were popular with the wildlife |
After a little break we started our final descent towards the town of Sembalum, which we were told would be 5 hours plus lunch break. The first part was insanely steep, plus it started raining, so a few people fell along the way. It's pretty crazy, it's all go at your own risk, safety is at your own discretion. After 2 hours we reached our lunch stop, and I thought my feet would be bleeding when I took off my shoes, but it turns out I was just being a whiny, complaining wuss.
After lunch I was on a mission to get to the finish, so I didn't have to feel any more pain in my feet, so Harald and I dominated the final stretch and got to town in 90 minutes, half the time of our given estimate. I was totally exhausted upon completion, but Harald hooked me up with a soda when he bought cigarettes, so I had some sugar to rejuvenate myself. I bought some sodas for the porters as thanks for doing one of the worst jobs I have ever witnessed. We also set up a tip box so Adi could get a happy ending from a masseuse. What a perv!
The next leg of my journey entailed getting back to Bali so I could catch a flight to my next travel stop: Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia. Things didn't exactly go as smoothly as planned, due to my limited cognitive abilities, but that is a story for another blog...
Random GoPros
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| Flores Airport... My first thought was, is this a real airport, or did I just get driven here to be murdered? |
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| In case you were wondering about the bathrooms in Southeast Asia...the squat toilet is popular...the bucket of water replaces the flush system...gravity swirling your turds into the sewage below |
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| There's no shelter when you're looking for shade. We be raging up the mountain like Bulls on Parade! |
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| The porter in the middle claimed he was 15...I'm pretty sure he was 12 |
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| Campsite Night One |
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| Volcanic peninsula |
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| Volcanic crater lake |
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| Hot springs |
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| There is garbage everywhere on this trek, it's fucking gross |
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| When I climbed up the sun poured into me, I shook off my weariness, the rocks went crumbling. Feeling alive I felt something stir in me. Up and up I kept on climbing higher and higher and higher. So have you ever felt so god damn strong? What takes some people so damn long? |
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| Catching what's left of the sunrise |
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| They love to tell you to stay inside the lines...but maybe something's better on the other side :) |
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| Gotta love the wide angle lense |
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| Steepest path ever..those dots are people coming down....75 degree angle...brutal |
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| Some people stare at the sky and see the clouds as a ceiling, but in this photo they're my floor, because my efforts are my own and my limits unknown |
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| Done!!!!! With an overpriced convenient store right at the finish line, what more could you want? |
GoPro Selfies....Things got a little weird...
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| The public boat |
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| Turn away now |
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| You were warned |
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| It keeps getting creepier |
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| Oh dear god |
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| This is what happens when the madness sets in |
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| Hiking down the mountain |
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| Finishing up...the final hike down in the rain |
Cliff jumping into the hot springs
