Victoria Falls and the Raft of Death

After our safari ended, we were transported to the third country of our trip, Zimbabwe.  Our destination was Victoria Falls, which is considered to be one the seven natural wonders of the world.  As most of you probably already know, the other six are my abs.  The falls were originally named Mosi-oa-Tunya, which means 'The Smoke that Thunders".  We had 2.5 days in the area, so we decided to chill out our first afternoon, visit the falls on day two, and go rafting on day three.  In hindsight, rafting on our last day was the greatest decision we ever made, as rafting literally destroyed my desire to live...but more on that later.

After having a quiet first night and catching up on sleep, we woke up early and headed to the falls.  We had read online that the tickets were $10 and you could leave the park and re-enter it as much as you'd like throughout the day.  When we arrived, the ticket was $30 and only good for a single entry.  Bah!  Damn you capitalism, taking advantage of us tourists.

Victoria Falls from the airplane

I've only seen the bottom two...Some traveler I am.

Sometimes Sarah likes to walk behind me so she can check out my sexy bum!

The volume of water that comes down is insane, that's why it actually does look like smoke.  And because it drops so far...well, it sounds like thunder.

Since there is pretty much nothing to do in the actual town of Victoria Falls, other than get harassed by the hundreds of people trying to sell you crap souvenirs, we figured we should try and spend as much time in the park as possible.  Party to enjoy the scenery and partly so people would leave us the f alone :)!  There is a path that winds around the park, so you can see all of the individual falls that make up Victoria Falls.  The scenery is absolutely amazing, you feel so completely dwarfed by how large it is.  There is also a section on the Zambia side, called the Devil's Pool, where you can actually sit in a natural pool on the edge of the waterfall.  We didn't have enough time to go, but it was also $100 for 15 minutes, and I'm not made of money.

The Devil's Cataract

Depending on what time of year you go, this can be a full sheet of water or completely dry.  We came somewhere in the middle, which ended up being perfect!

I need to live in the wild instead of a city

Kayaks on the Zambezi...If only we knew what we were getting into...

Since we paid so much for entrance to the park, we decided to do a second loop, so we could just enjoy the sights and not worry about taking photos.  We were rewarded for our efforts because we stumbled upon two deer hanging out along the cliff's edge!  Life just seems so easy when you see animals relaxing in the wilderness.  Those deer roam around a giant park and have a free view to what many consider the most amazing waterfall in the world.  Meanwhile I work all day in an office and rarely see sunlight.

After leaving the falls, we went to our lunchtime spot, The Lookout Cafe, which offers cheap beer, good food, and even better views.  We came in after a group of about fifty Chinese tourists that all ordered the exact same meal...and ate about half of it.  Such waste!  After eating, we wandered around town, did some souvenir shopping, and eventually found a place that had African style tapas.  Impala meatballs and wild game meat skewers for the win!

I would take being out in the world over sitting on the couch watching Netflix any day.  Too many amazing things to see and do.

I love this shot, the deer relaxing in front of the waterfall.  Wild and free, just like life is supposed to be.

"Take every risk, drop every fear"

Not a bad little panorama

People complain about moles ruining their gardens...Imagine warthogs.  

Wild game meat skewers!  No idea what kind of meat, but it was delicious.

Ugh.  Rafting.  Sarah had the idea to go white water rafting in Zimbabwe, because it is considered by many to be the best in the world.  I consider it to be death incarnate.  I had a bad feeling when they split us into uneven groups.  Most had six, one had five, and our group had seven.  Instead of splitting up one of the larger groups and make each group six, they chose to have odd numbers.  Not that having balance in a raft is key.  Neither is having people paddle through the rapids, or putting the experienced people in front, or having a guide that even remotely knows what he's doing.  None of those things are important.  Unless you want to live.

Our guide, Stuart, was literally the worst guide I have ever had doing anything in my life.  If you go rafting and he is your guide, you will probably die or lose your desire to live.  The course is made up of about 19 rapids along the Zambezi River, but depending on the time of year you go, the level of each rapid can fluctuate.  We had to walk around two level sixes, but were able to paddle through four level fives.  For those of you that are unfamiliar with rafting, it isn't uncommon for people to die on level four and fives.  The previous times I've gone rafting, I'd only fallen out once and each time the raft was flipped intentionally by the guide for fun.  Sarah and one other girl fell out five times, everyone else fell out four.  Our raft fully flipped three times.  No other raft flipped more than once...

The third time the raft flipped, was by far the most dangerous.  As we went towards a rapid, known as "The Washing Machine", we were told to paddle hard and aim for the right side of the rapid, because it is a level four on the side and a six in the middle.  Level six rapids are off limits as there is a high likelihood of injury and possibly even death.  Our guide, who sat in the back of the raft and acted as our rudder, apparently thought it was a good idea to steer us directly into the carnage.  Not only did we all get absolutely smashed, but our entire raft got sucked into the river before getting shot out.  I literally thought I was going to die.

My GoPro footage would later reveal that I got sucked under for over thirty seconds, spinning around in a whirlpool before getting shot out.  It was pure luck that I got sent above the water at the exact moment I gasped for air, because as soon as I was out, I was sucked under again.  Luckily I was able to spot Sarah when I finally came up for good, so I at least knew she was ok.  However, one girl didn't make it out so lucky.  She smashed her back on the rocks and through tears indicated she was at a pain level of 7 out of 10.  To make matters worse, we still had five rapids to go, as well as an 800 meter hike up a cliffside.  And if her day couldn't get any worse, when we got back up and were eating lunch, she got stung on the tongue by a wasp and I had to pull out the stinger.  It was chaos incarnate. It was Africa.

One of the few times our raft was actually upright...

The safety measures in Zimbabwe aren't exactly great...

As crazy and dangerous as it was.... We will never forget this trip!

We woke up the next morning completely shattered.  Neither of us could walk without limping and we had to hobble 2 miles across the border and go through passport checks between Zimbabwe and Zambia, since we were flying back out of Livingstone.  To make matters worse, I had to do this whilst carrying our big backpack that held all of our clothes and weighed like fifty pounds.  Life is always a struggle.

Luckily, shortly after the border crossing we found a huge resort, so we were able to stop in and get a coffee before organizing a taxi to the airport.  The resort was absolutely amazing (and full of rich people), but I'm glad we stay in tents and have adventures.  Why spend all that money going to Africa if you aren't going to go out and experience it?  I'll never understand people that go on vacation to sit around a pool, drink fancy cocktails, and play on their cell phones when they could go out and see what this world has to offer.  Turn that phone off and chuck it in a drawer people, you need to untether from that sh!t.

Who can resist buying Simba chips?

A hippo drink stirrer!  This will be stirring Tito's and club sodas in Orlando in no time...

After another full day of flying, that included transfers in South Africa and Qatar, we finally got back to London.  However, we never rest for long, so within a few weeks we were already on our next adventure to meet Sarah's parents in Belgium.  Did they approve of me?  Did Sarah's mom refer to my body as being pure dynamite?  I guess you'll find out on my next blog...


Random GoPros

The Lookout Cafe

Our version of Paradise Falls

And I'd give up forever to touch you, cus I know that you feel me somehow.  You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now...

Like ants on a log...

 Sarah and Sean's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps

Nearly any view is made better with your first beer of the day!

What did on eye say to the other?
Between me and you, something smells

My shame at incorrectly navigating us

She's in my shirt, wearing my shades, holding my GoPro!  What's mine is not mine.

What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful :)

Oh that boy's a slag, the best you ever had.  The best you ever had is just a memory. And those dreams aren't as daft as they seem, not as daft as they seem, my love when you dream them up...

So many travels!  Our second continent together.  We will reach #3 when we are both back in the US!

You're somewhere I wanna go.  Nice and swift as we take it slow.  You know we sit just right, it's one hell of a sight...

We're here for the moment, so let's own it.  For the moment, so let's own it.  Why are you waiting, it's here for the taking.  It's good loving, it's worth making...

After she fell out, I had the choice to help her back into the raft or take photos mocking her.  I chose wisely.

I think we spent half our day's journey walking around the rapids that were too dangerous to raft through.

We took this photo whilst we still thought we were going to live

Completely shattered, but glad we made it out alive!

The Land of the Rising Sun

Before arriving in Japan I had already spent $560 on a 21 day Japan Rail pass, which is nearly 80% of what I spent during an entire month in Laos.  To say I fear going bankrupt in Japan is an understatement.  I flew into Osaka and immediately set out to find a 7/11, because their ATMs accept foreign cards, unlike the ones at the airport.  After loading up on cash, I somehow stumbled into the red light district, making it the third country in the past four that I've accomplished that feat within my first hour of exploring; It's like a super power, apparently GigaLowe's are drawn to whores.   

The district is modeled after Amsterdam, with young women in windows dressed up like nurses, cowgirls, and any other slutty outfit you can think of that puts their ass...ets on display, while an older woman sitting nearby acts as her pimp.  Not gonna lie, they were the hottest girls I've ever seen.  Seriously, picture the sexiest woman you've ever seen, if she's not already Asian, make her Asian.  Then imagine 400 women hotter than her, being spread out in every direction.  Luckily the good looking girls aren't restricted to just the red light district, the women in Japan...woo hoo!  So many gorgeous women here and, on the whole, they age a lot better than the women in other countries I've visited (no offense, #RespectForWomen).  

Osaka was way different than what I expected, for instance a lot of taxi drivers wear bow ties, there are slot machine gambling halls lining alleyways, and gigantic underground shopping districts.  Heck, you can even get a tailored suit in the subway!  Of course, no sightseeing trip is complete without staggering past the legendary Japanese vending machines, which are stocked with beer, cigarettes, and saki!  The easiest way to get around is definitely the subway, which has lines running everywhere.  In order to purchase a ticket, you have to scan a pricing sheet and then purchase your ticket not based on destination, but on price.  I'm pretty sure it took me seven minutes to buy my first ticket.  Japan is absolutely amazing;  It was my destiny to come here, I felt it as soon as I started to explore.  I wasn't born here, but maybe I will be reborn here.

Saki, beer, shot glasses.  With booze and cigarette vending machines on every corner, how do Japanese kids stay out of trouble?

Each town seems to have their own special sewer covers

I spent my first full day in Japan wandering the shopping districts and trying to ease my way into the pricing.  For lunch I found a place with 5 dollar pizzas and an English menu, but the pizzas all had Italian names and no ingredient listed, so I just chose one I'd never heard of.  Turns out, I ordered a pizza that contained three ingredients: crust, sauce, sardines...no cheese.  Luckily I'm used to eating weird stuff, so I was able to overcome the smell of rotting fish and force it down.  In all fairness, it wasn't terrible, and being topped with over 500 sardines, it was probably a bargain.  The cheap pizza helped me accept the costs of riding the subway, $2.40 to go three stops, I ain't made of money.

My dinner was inevitably going to be better than my lunch, so I decided to just go for it and get something Japanese.  How does beef tendon simmered in miso sound?  I had absolutely no clue what to expect, but it was fucking delicious.  The tendon broke apart more easily than the beef in Carl Weather's stew and the miso had an incredible amount of flavor.  It was a reminder of why I gamble when I order food.  Sure you might get something that you don't like, but then again you might miss out on something amazing by ordering the same boring stuff over and over.  Live a little! For my midnight snack I got a random bun from Family Mart that somehow tasted exactly like Chef Boyardee Ravioli, which is absolutely a good thing.  I never used to think about it before, but I'm so thankful I have no allergies or food restrictions and can try all of these random things.  I never used to be grateful for anything, I'd just be pissed off if I couldn't do whatever I wanted.  Maybe I'm finally growing up :)....a little

For the first time in over a year, I have that Machu Picchu feeling

I usually prefer the wild to cities, but this is one concrete jungle I'm at peace with

Kyoto was the next stop on my journey, so I activated my Japan Rail Pass and went to temple town;  There must be thousands of them there.  The lady at my hostel was super friendly and as soon as I arrived she opened up a map and started giving me detailed instructions on how to get to each of the main temples.  This is why I decided to never purchase a Lonely Planet book ever again, they're unnecessary and often tell you the most mediocre places in the world are must see attractions or places to stay.  You're so much better off winging things, you get a more genuine experience.

The first place I visited was Kiyomizu-dera Temple, which was within 20 minutes of my hostel.  I knew Japan was a very crowded place, with one of the densest populations in the world, but you have no clue what it's like until you see it with your own eyes.  Every attraction you go to is packed, apparently temple hopping is the cool thing to do for school kids.  The temples in Japan are similar to the ones in Korea, in the sense that they have sprawling complexes, but the architecture is way different and there are often prominent displays of water.  

Japan = People Everywhere

I think like, the worst part of like, staying in Kyoto was like, the fact that there were like, a bunch of Americans that were, like staying there and like, they just couldn't, like stop sounding so stupid, like you know... I like, really don't miss home, like at all :p

Never take a day for granted...

Why does every Asian tourist step in front of my camera?

My next stop was Heian-jingu Shrine, which was also within 20 minutes of the hostel, but in the opposite direction.  So much cardio!  The shrine itself wasn't anything special, but for an extra $6 you could check out the gardens, which were actually pretty awesome and included a bunch of ponds full of coy fish and turtles.  The whole city is worth seeing in general, you really don't need a plan at all.  You can literally find a temple, shrine, or pagoda every 400 meters.  Most of the temples shut down at 5 PM, but a lot of the grounds stay open, so you can pretty much explore all night if you want to.

Orange is one of my most favoritest colors ever!!!

I found these hanging in an alleyway...
Then I ran

The next day I purchased an all day bus pass for $5, so I could visit the temples on the Western side of Kyoto, since I was staying on the Eastern side.  It's a pretty sweet deal since buses cost $2.30 every time you hop on, regardless of distance.  I think I rode the bus like 6 times, so it more than paid for itself.  I ended up visiting three different temples, with each temple costing $4 or $5, but none of the temple complexes were that large, so you could get through them in 30-40 minutes, while taking your time.  Therefore I decided to cap myself at three temples, because otherwise it was going to be way too expensive and let's be honest, once you've seen 5 temples in 2 days...That's more than enough. 


There's a really famous bridge in Kyoto called Togetsu-kyo, so I scoped that as well.  The river it overlooks is pretty cool, with the water being pseudo-dammed in.  I saw some ducks diving into the water and catching fish with some pretty insane success, one somehow caught four fish in a row, so much fun to watch!  It has a really peaceful setup, with benches lined up all across the river for anyone that wants to sit down and enjoy the view.   Japan definitely knows how to keep it zen.

There's always a temple house on the water...always

When the day comes that I finally own a house, I'm making it Japanese style... Geishas included

This is exactly the type of room I could start a cult in

They say the most beautiful things in life are also the deadliest. I suppose that makes me the most dangerous man to ever live

Togetsu-kyo bridge

In order to maximize my rail pass, I decided to take a day trip to Nara, which was less than an hour away via train.  The main tourist attractions are pretty much all in an area called Nara Park, so all you have to do is walk there from the train station and pop into anything that tickles your fancy.  Nara is also famous for their deer population, which roams around free.  There are vendors everywhere that will sell you cookies that you can feed to the deer.  I'm not sure how I feel about it, it's kind of cool I guess, but I'm not sure deer are meant to be domesticated and reliant on human support...And a diet of cookies can't be healthy for any creature.

A lot of the temple grounds in Nara Park are open, but you typically have to pay to go inside the temple, though a few are free.  There was only one that I really wanted to go to, Todai-ji, which houses a gigantic Buddha and seems to be the main tourist attraction.  Japan is super strict on the use of tripods, with most temples banning them.  I suppose I'll have to get creative (at bending the rules) to make some time lapses.  In addition to the temples, the park itself is quite stunning, so there's plenty to enjoy.

How bad am I at geography? I had no idea Nara was a city in Japan, I just knew it as a restaurant that sold me saki bombs and sushi

I like how the roofs of each story of  the pagoda are shaped like smiley faces, it makes me happy :)

You want to do what and where?!?!  Keep it down my deer, we're in public

Sometimes I'll just stare into the distance and  feel the shivers run down my spine.  I can't explain it, but I know I was meant to come here.

Todai-ji Temple was the largest wooden structure in the world until 1998, so it's now effectively the largest ancient wooden structure in the world.  This version of the building was finsihed in 1709, how crazy is that?

At 15 meters, this is the largest statue of the Buddha Vairocana in the world

I have a super ambitious plan for maximizing my 21 day rail pass, in which I'm going to attempt to see around 15 different cities, so after getting my fill of castles in Kyoto and Nara I decided to spend the next day visiting my first castle!  Himeji Castle is supposedly the most famous in Japan, but it's under construction until 2015, so you can't enter the main building, but you can still explore the surrounding complex.  To make up for this, the ticket is discounted by 200 yen.  I opted for the combo ticket which also gave me access to some gardens, (which I actually never found) so I didn't end up saving any money.

The design of the outer wall was quite impressive, they carved chutes below each window so they could drop rocks on any invaders that tried to scale the walls.  The castle also had a mini-museum that has some bad ass Samurai swords and armor in it.  I didn't see any signs restricting tripods either, so I made a pretty sweet time lapse of the construction on the castle, I cannot wait to actually put some of my time lapses into a video, they're gonna be sick!  Himeji wasn't my last stop for the day however, as I decided to take a Shinkansen train to Hiroshima.

I can't wait to compare this to some European castles!!!

How bad ass would I look in this armor?

I'm the king of the castle and you're the dirty rascal

The Shinkansen - Japan's bullet trains can travel between 240-320 kmh (150-200 mph), with experimental trains running even faster. 

Taking a bullet train in Japan is something everyone needs to experience, it's my favorite form of transportation by far.  It's so easy, you don't have to check your bags or go through security or any of that crap, you just walk up to the platform and wait until the train arrives exactly at the time it is scheduled.  Seriously, it's always on time.  Once you get onboard, you can stow your bags in a giant overhead compartment, sit down in your gigantic, cozy recliner and stretch your legs out, because you have spades of legroom.  Yao Ming could fit in these seats.  These Shinkansen are like 20 years old and are more advanced than any train I've ever been on.  The next set of Shinkansens are gong to use maglev technology... as in magnetic levitation.  Seriously!  There aren't going to be wheels, the trains will hover above the tracks through the power of magnetic fields.   Rumor has it there's a version that tops 500kmh (310 mph).

But anyways, before I go down the nerd vortex again... Hiroshima was the first city to ever be struck with an atomic bomb, but is now a self-proclaimed city of peace despite the devastation it faced from war. I despise war, I don't even like watching war movies, and get very uncomfortable around sad and depressing places, so I knew this was going to be a hard place for me to visit, but that's a story for another blog...

Random GoPros 

My first Japanese subway experience...and that's quite possibly armpit hair, not a shadow, protruding from my sleeve...I have a bit of a teen wolf situation going on at the moment

I love that there's a giant bunny holding a baton next to this dude

Kings of Leon - Molly's Hangover

If a fish came to me and told me he was going on a journey, I should say, "With what porpoise...No wise fish would go anywhere without a porpoise." (Alice in Wonderland reference, drink!)

Some will bet against you, try even to prevent you.  But not many can stop you now, if you got a perfect plan.  Can they possibly try, I demand to know why they would doubt you.  In this hand, a thousand generations...

The Japanese love water, almost every temple you visit has a gigantic pond...or five

Bamboo Grove

Some things just look way cooler through the (fish) eye of a GoPro

Sika Deer are allowed to roam free throughout Nara and other parts of Japan.

The sky is so much cleaner in Japan than it was in Korea.  Look at those clouds, magnifico!

There are literally thousands of temples in the Nara/Osaka/Kyoto area and every one I caught even a minor glimpse of was packed with people...It's incredible

The Big Bad Buddha

I love Japanese architecture, I'm not sure there's anything about Japan I don't love.  I love it here...Can I stay?

I even like the museums!  This cartoon diorama of feudal Japan is ultra groovy

Who's this handsome devil?  I wouldn't mind kissing that man between the cheeks