Victoria Falls and the Raft of Death

After our safari ended, we were transported to the third country of our trip, Zimbabwe.  Our destination was Victoria Falls, which is considered to be one the seven natural wonders of the world.  As most of you probably already know, the other six are my abs.  The falls were originally named Mosi-oa-Tunya, which means 'The Smoke that Thunders".  We had 2.5 days in the area, so we decided to chill out our first afternoon, visit the falls on day two, and go rafting on day three.  In hindsight, rafting on our last day was the greatest decision we ever made, as rafting literally destroyed my desire to live...but more on that later.

After having a quiet first night and catching up on sleep, we woke up early and headed to the falls.  We had read online that the tickets were $10 and you could leave the park and re-enter it as much as you'd like throughout the day.  When we arrived, the ticket was $30 and only good for a single entry.  Bah!  Damn you capitalism, taking advantage of us tourists.

Victoria Falls from the airplane

I've only seen the bottom two...Some traveler I am.

Sometimes Sarah likes to walk behind me so she can check out my sexy bum!

The volume of water that comes down is insane, that's why it actually does look like smoke.  And because it drops so far...well, it sounds like thunder.

Since there is pretty much nothing to do in the actual town of Victoria Falls, other than get harassed by the hundreds of people trying to sell you crap souvenirs, we figured we should try and spend as much time in the park as possible.  Party to enjoy the scenery and partly so people would leave us the f alone :)!  There is a path that winds around the park, so you can see all of the individual falls that make up Victoria Falls.  The scenery is absolutely amazing, you feel so completely dwarfed by how large it is.  There is also a section on the Zambia side, called the Devil's Pool, where you can actually sit in a natural pool on the edge of the waterfall.  We didn't have enough time to go, but it was also $100 for 15 minutes, and I'm not made of money.

The Devil's Cataract

Depending on what time of year you go, this can be a full sheet of water or completely dry.  We came somewhere in the middle, which ended up being perfect!

I need to live in the wild instead of a city

Kayaks on the Zambezi...If only we knew what we were getting into...

Since we paid so much for entrance to the park, we decided to do a second loop, so we could just enjoy the sights and not worry about taking photos.  We were rewarded for our efforts because we stumbled upon two deer hanging out along the cliff's edge!  Life just seems so easy when you see animals relaxing in the wilderness.  Those deer roam around a giant park and have a free view to what many consider the most amazing waterfall in the world.  Meanwhile I work all day in an office and rarely see sunlight.

After leaving the falls, we went to our lunchtime spot, The Lookout Cafe, which offers cheap beer, good food, and even better views.  We came in after a group of about fifty Chinese tourists that all ordered the exact same meal...and ate about half of it.  Such waste!  After eating, we wandered around town, did some souvenir shopping, and eventually found a place that had African style tapas.  Impala meatballs and wild game meat skewers for the win!

I would take being out in the world over sitting on the couch watching Netflix any day.  Too many amazing things to see and do.

I love this shot, the deer relaxing in front of the waterfall.  Wild and free, just like life is supposed to be.

"Take every risk, drop every fear"

Not a bad little panorama

People complain about moles ruining their gardens...Imagine warthogs.  

Wild game meat skewers!  No idea what kind of meat, but it was delicious.

Ugh.  Rafting.  Sarah had the idea to go white water rafting in Zimbabwe, because it is considered by many to be the best in the world.  I consider it to be death incarnate.  I had a bad feeling when they split us into uneven groups.  Most had six, one had five, and our group had seven.  Instead of splitting up one of the larger groups and make each group six, they chose to have odd numbers.  Not that having balance in a raft is key.  Neither is having people paddle through the rapids, or putting the experienced people in front, or having a guide that even remotely knows what he's doing.  None of those things are important.  Unless you want to live.

Our guide, Stuart, was literally the worst guide I have ever had doing anything in my life.  If you go rafting and he is your guide, you will probably die or lose your desire to live.  The course is made up of about 19 rapids along the Zambezi River, but depending on the time of year you go, the level of each rapid can fluctuate.  We had to walk around two level sixes, but were able to paddle through four level fives.  For those of you that are unfamiliar with rafting, it isn't uncommon for people to die on level four and fives.  The previous times I've gone rafting, I'd only fallen out once and each time the raft was flipped intentionally by the guide for fun.  Sarah and one other girl fell out five times, everyone else fell out four.  Our raft fully flipped three times.  No other raft flipped more than once...

The third time the raft flipped, was by far the most dangerous.  As we went towards a rapid, known as "The Washing Machine", we were told to paddle hard and aim for the right side of the rapid, because it is a level four on the side and a six in the middle.  Level six rapids are off limits as there is a high likelihood of injury and possibly even death.  Our guide, who sat in the back of the raft and acted as our rudder, apparently thought it was a good idea to steer us directly into the carnage.  Not only did we all get absolutely smashed, but our entire raft got sucked into the river before getting shot out.  I literally thought I was going to die.

My GoPro footage would later reveal that I got sucked under for over thirty seconds, spinning around in a whirlpool before getting shot out.  It was pure luck that I got sent above the water at the exact moment I gasped for air, because as soon as I was out, I was sucked under again.  Luckily I was able to spot Sarah when I finally came up for good, so I at least knew she was ok.  However, one girl didn't make it out so lucky.  She smashed her back on the rocks and through tears indicated she was at a pain level of 7 out of 10.  To make matters worse, we still had five rapids to go, as well as an 800 meter hike up a cliffside.  And if her day couldn't get any worse, when we got back up and were eating lunch, she got stung on the tongue by a wasp and I had to pull out the stinger.  It was chaos incarnate. It was Africa.

One of the few times our raft was actually upright...

The safety measures in Zimbabwe aren't exactly great...

As crazy and dangerous as it was.... We will never forget this trip!

We woke up the next morning completely shattered.  Neither of us could walk without limping and we had to hobble 2 miles across the border and go through passport checks between Zimbabwe and Zambia, since we were flying back out of Livingstone.  To make matters worse, I had to do this whilst carrying our big backpack that held all of our clothes and weighed like fifty pounds.  Life is always a struggle.

Luckily, shortly after the border crossing we found a huge resort, so we were able to stop in and get a coffee before organizing a taxi to the airport.  The resort was absolutely amazing (and full of rich people), but I'm glad we stay in tents and have adventures.  Why spend all that money going to Africa if you aren't going to go out and experience it?  I'll never understand people that go on vacation to sit around a pool, drink fancy cocktails, and play on their cell phones when they could go out and see what this world has to offer.  Turn that phone off and chuck it in a drawer people, you need to untether from that sh!t.

Who can resist buying Simba chips?

A hippo drink stirrer!  This will be stirring Tito's and club sodas in Orlando in no time...

After another full day of flying, that included transfers in South Africa and Qatar, we finally got back to London.  However, we never rest for long, so within a few weeks we were already on our next adventure to meet Sarah's parents in Belgium.  Did they approve of me?  Did Sarah's mom refer to my body as being pure dynamite?  I guess you'll find out on my next blog...


Random GoPros

The Lookout Cafe

Our version of Paradise Falls

And I'd give up forever to touch you, cus I know that you feel me somehow.  You're the closest to Heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now...

Like ants on a log...

 Sarah and Sean's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps

Nearly any view is made better with your first beer of the day!

What did on eye say to the other?
Between me and you, something smells

My shame at incorrectly navigating us

She's in my shirt, wearing my shades, holding my GoPro!  What's mine is not mine.

What you feel is what you are and what you are is beautiful :)

Oh that boy's a slag, the best you ever had.  The best you ever had is just a memory. And those dreams aren't as daft as they seem, not as daft as they seem, my love when you dream them up...

So many travels!  Our second continent together.  We will reach #3 when we are both back in the US!

You're somewhere I wanna go.  Nice and swift as we take it slow.  You know we sit just right, it's one hell of a sight...

We're here for the moment, so let's own it.  For the moment, so let's own it.  Why are you waiting, it's here for the taking.  It's good loving, it's worth making...

After she fell out, I had the choice to help her back into the raft or take photos mocking her.  I chose wisely.

I think we spent half our day's journey walking around the rapids that were too dangerous to raft through.

We took this photo whilst we still thought we were going to live

Completely shattered, but glad we made it out alive!