An Acidic Island and a Cambodian Car Crash

Upon leaving Koh Rong I was initially planning to do some volunteer work teaching English, mostly because my mother thought I should do some good for the world instead of just living for myself.  However, after doing some research, the general consensus was that it's actually bad to volunteer helping children because they just get taught the same material over and over.  In addition, some children are displaced from their homes and put into orphanages so they can be leveraged to generate more donation money from tourists.  It's apparently a very corrupt system, so I decided to keep up my journeys and bide my time for a better opportunity to do some good and hopefully redeem my diminishing soul.

After getting back to Sihanoukville, I made my way to the Vietnamese consolate, since you are required to get your visa for Vietnam in advance.  Since it took a day to get processed I had to spend two nights in town before taking a ferry to Koh Ta Kiev.  I ended up staying in an eleven bed dorm for three bucks a night, not too shabby!  I was highly anticipating Koh Ta Kiev as Max had been hyping it up as a paradise to disconnect from the world as there is no wifi and they only run power a few hours each night via generators. 

Did I give this bar my business and support the international need to make fun of Canada?  Of course!

Ten decisions shape your life, you'll be aware of five about.  So why not try it all, if you'll only remember it once?

The boat that I booked to the island doubled as a tour boat, so I got to participate in some free snorkeling on my way there.  You never really know where you're going or when you're getting there when you purchase transport in Asia, but that's half the fun.  Once I arrived, I searched for the cheapest accommodation possible, finding a hammock for $3.50 or a shared tent for $6.  The tents were already setup, whereas you could take the hammock an set it up anywhere.  I decided to go with hammock (mostly because I'm the cheapest human being alive) and found my own little private area overlooking the rocks.  In retrospect, there is also one very important factor that should go into choosing a hammock or tent.  When you meet girls and they flirtatiously ask you where you are staying, it doesn't impress them when you say, "I'm in a hammock, over some rocks".  You might as well have not tried striking up a conversation in the first place, because all conversations die upon that dire revelation.

The island was divided into two main beaches, Crusoe and Coral. I chose the former, which was having a 2 year anniversary party for 3 days/2 nights whilst I was there.  The island was one of the most amazing places I've been to in my life.  It's hard to explain, but it had a certain, unexplainable energy.  Normally I can only run for 20 minutes before wheezing and collapsing into a pile of pure uselessness and during my morning workout I struggle to get through 100 push-ups and sit-ups.  On Koh Ta Kiev I could run for 30 mins without feeling any level of fatigue and could do 150 push-ups and sit-ups...with energy to do more.  Heck, I even did the sit-ups without taking a break.  I didn't even have to poop during my first three days on the island, my body was using exactly what I was taking in with perfect efficiency.  On top of the amazing views and lack of poos, was the amazing food.  There were only three places to eat on the island, but everything I ate was fantastic.  If I was serious about writing a book, I would have stayed there for a month or two, it was exactly where I needed to be.  The only downfall of this place is that the Chinese purchased a 99 year lease to turn it into a resort island, so this paradise will soon be lost.

No roads, no tuk tuk requests, no sales pitches, just the ocean breeze and the squishy sand beneath your toes.

Look at all those fancy clothes, but these could keep us warm just like those.  And what about your soul, is it cold?  Is it straight from the mold and ready to be sold?  Cars and phones and diamond rings. Bling Bling.  Those are only removable things, so what about your mind, does it shine?  Or are there things that concern you more than your time?

On the first night of the birthday party, everyone started dropping acid (LSD).  Having never done any real drugs before I figured why not?  It was kind of a spontaneous, spur of the moment decision, but if I hadn't tried it, I would always wonder what it would have been like .  That's simply my curious nature, besides what better place to do drugs than on an island with no cops?  People were taking between 2-3 drops, but I figured if I am only doing this once in my life, i will do it proper.  Thus my tongue felt the tingle of three sweet drops.  I paid $15, but the dude could have asked for $50 and convinced me it was a great price, I have no understanding of what you are supposed to pay for these things.  At one point, my drink went down the wrong tube and I had to use every ounce of concentration just to breathe normally, as apparently I'd lost the functionality of my autonomic nervous system.  I was wheezing for air and thinking, "Holy fuck, I still have twelve hours of tripping before this stuff wears off".  

It wasn't long before the majority of people were on acid.  To put this in perspective, there were probably 100 people on this little island, with about 85 being present for this party.  I would estimate somewhere between 60-75 took LSD.  Anyone that didn't was still drinking and smoking; There was no one sober.  At some point in the night, a random group of Cambodian soldiers came over from the other side of the island and started to get drunk and smoke weed at the bar, with fully loaded AK47s dangling from their backs.  Of course if a battle broke out, you could always rent a homemade spear gun from the bar for $8.  You hear about what Asia is like, but until you are here, you really have no idea.  This place is insane.

Normally I leave my pursuits for the fairer sex out of my blog, mostly because women don't find me attractive (in fact I think most women are repulsed by my general existence), so there's not much to write about, but occasionally funny situations happen and the world deserves to mock me.  So here I am, tripping balls on acid and weed, while simultaneously rocking a nice alcohol buzz, when  I start chatting up a Swedish bird.  When she noticed I was dripping wet, she asked me if I'd gone in the water, which is famous because the plankton glow phosphorescent blue around your body when you swim at night.  I told her it was awesome and convinced her to give it a shot, but she wanted me to go with her.  After a brief swim we headed back and hung out for a little while longer and she was starting to talk about how she wished she never had to leave the island and how she should just forget about her boyfriend.  

After hanging out at the bar for a few more drinks, we eventually decided to go back for a second round of nighttime swimming.  Keep in mind, I don't have swim trunks on me, so I'm just taking off my pants and going in my underwear.  As we are swimming, we start to get a little friendlier, but she keeps freaking out about having a boyfriend, but at the same time, she was keen and kept telling me how beautiful I am (which in all fairness, I do look incredible, I think most women are entranced by my general existence). But eventually she decided that she just couldn't cheat on her boyfriend, which in all fairness was the smart decision, because she would never have seen me again after that island and at this point I still had yet to learn her name (I was impaired, give me a break...I'm only a slightly... Ok, mostly terrible person). Twas also during this time I also learned that LSD does not impair your libido, as I felt a rush of blood to both my heads.  So here I am standing this phosphorescent plankton water, with a massive erection, bringing a whole new meaning to the term, "Blue Balls".  Did I retell this entire story, just to make that one blue balls pun?  Absolutely I did.

I stayed out at the bar until about 5 AM, partially because the girl I swam with wouldn't let me leave, but I did at least finally learn her name!  And partially because I was curious if the bar would ever close, which it did not.  It's pretty crazy, you don't feel tired even slightly after taking LSD and you can drink and smoke all night without issue (Sorry mom). Once I got back to my hammock and closed my eyes, shit went crazy.  I started to see microscopic Rubik's Cubes spiraling in patterns before turning into mathematical equations of multiple colors and diving into, what appeared to be, the code used to create The Matrix.  I'm pretty sure I also saw the answers to the universe and solved Fermat's Last Theorem.  Even crazier, I only needed one hour of sleep and awoke with no hangover.  

Though I cannot hear a word that you're saying, I can still feel you, feel the warm air. It travels from your whisper as I try to decipher the undecipherable.  So I'm waiting for you to lean in again, with those faint and precious sounds, I'll turn my head halfway and I will... I will swallow each one of them down and swipe the remaining thoughts from your lips. You're face so close, everything else eclipsed...

When the moon fell in love with sun, all was golden in the sky.  All was golden when the day met the night...

I wasn't the only one who had a crazy night either...Far from it.  One kid fell out of a tree house and messed up his back.  We were also worried he might have a concussion, so he stayed awake by continuously smoking cigarettes, while simultaneously coping with the pain via marijuana and tequila shots.  One of the bartenders had to go into the woods to puke at one point, but became nervous when his puke started moving, turns out he puked on a snake...and not just any snake, but a poisonous snake whose bit kills you in 4-6 hours.  He had to yell for one of the local guys to come and kill it while he stood with his flashlight over it.  I'm not even sure it was necessary to kill the snake, it was probably hallucinating from whatever was in that vomit and was incapable of hurting anyone.  The guy that sold everyone the acid apparently spent the wee hours of the morning dry humping and fondling what was quite possibly, if not likely, a shemale in the main area of the bar...luckily I left when I did, because I heard the stories and they were quite frightening.

Day two consisted of a special dinner/movie night. The dinner: chicken ganja soup.  It's just such a different lifestyle over here, it's eye opening to say the least.  They started out with an action movie, Elysium, before switching to a Romantic Comedy, which, as my fellow travelers know, are a guilty pleasure that I'm not even ashamed of.  Rom-Coms are delightful.  The movie was titled About Time, which is about a guy that can travel back to any point of his life and essentially have a "redo".  The apple of his eye?  None other than Rom-Com veteran Rachel McAdams...Wow, I should probably start watching more action movies...  Anywho, it was a pretty good flick, definitely worth RedBoxing.  The next movie that came on was Gravity, which I'd already seen, so I ended up retiring to my hammock to catch up on some sleep.

This massive spider was chilling in the jungle, easily the size of my hand...Err the left one, my right hand hasn't been the same....since the accident

What are you afraid of?  But more importantly, what are you made of?

3 restaurants and 1 Absinthe distillery, I'm glad this island has it's priorities straight

I left the island the next day, feeling a need to drink lots of water and purify my body.  I had to stay a night in Sihanoukville before making my way to Kampot, which is famous for it's pepper.  In all fairness, twas the best pepper I've ever had in my life.  I knew the trip would go well when about five minutes in, the driver stopped and pulled a nail out of the tire, but we got it patched and went on our way.  One of the big things to do in Kampot is to check out the Bokor National Park, so I decided to make a day trip out of it. 

There were so many people in our tour group that they had to put us in two vehicles.  About 12 people in a minibus and the remaining four of us in an old, beat-up Toyota Camry.  Every time we had a stop, we were worried the car wouldn't start back up, as it typically took 2-3 attempts before the engine finally revved up.  Our driver also didn't seem so comfortable behind the wheel and was taking turns with extreme caution for the first 15 minutes before finally getting into his groove.  Once we finally made it into the national park, I was expecting to see a forest with a bunch of wildlife, with some dirt roads running between attractions, but it was nothing like that at all.  Instead it was ultra toursity, with paved roads in lieu of forests and a brand new casino/resort hotel that was built by the Chinese.  The main attractions were a giant Buddhist statue, some dilapidated old buildings, a church, an abandoned casino, and a waterfall that contained no water.  

My memory card reader no longer works, so these last two pics are from my iPhone instead of the big guy.  Apologies for the drop in quality

Everything can change in a day...And you know, another one is always on the way

After a disappointing day atop the mountain, the real adventure came upon our departure.  The road winds down the mountainside via switchbacks that are quite steep.  As we were going down, I looked out the driver side window and noticed a hub cap was rolling beside the car.  Behind us cars were honking their horns, but our driver appeared not to notice.  I probably should have seen this as an omen of death and dismemberment, but I am so used to dodgy transportation that unless a wheel fell off, I'm not going to find the moment disconcerting.  However, after a few moments, I notice we are getting really close to the car in front of us and our driver starts to swerve around it, which is definitely reason for concern as we are going around a blind turn in the lane which belonged to oncoming traffic.  He just started saying, "Problem, problem!".  Why was he saying this?   Because the brakes to the car no longer worked.  Fuck.  My.  Life.

In desperate attempts to slow the car down he started swerving from side to side, looking for things to hit that would slow us down, but when you're descending a mountain, this little thing called gravity will fight you on that.  As we weave from side to side, gaining speed and momentum, I'm certain that the car is going to roll.  A few times it looked like he was either going to hit one of the boulders on the side of the road or drive us headfirst into a ditch for an epic crash.  After thirty seconds to a minute of this, he finally eyes up a guard rail and decides he's going to crash into it, switching phrases from "Problem, problem", to "It's the best way, it's the best way".  

He lined up to the guard rail with passenger side of the car and aimed for a head on collision, so my first thought was everyone on that side of the car was going to be impaled, but at the last second he swerved at the perfect angle, allowing the side of the car to catch on the guard rail and decelerate to the point of stopping.  Perhaps the most amazing thing of all is that no one was even hurt.  The damage to the car was actually pretty minimal, with the damage being constrained to one side of the car and the engine still in perfect condition.  If the brake failure would have happened in town, someone would have died for sure, as there would be no way to avoid tourists or tuk-tuk's and we would have had to crash into something much worse to slow down.  It was an absolute miracle that it happened where no other people could get hurt. 

After the crash we all had to crawl out of the driver side door, as it was the only one that was still functional at that point.  Our driver then called the other tour guide from the mini-bus, so we could be piled in there and get a ride back to town.  The final part of our tour included a sunset cruise that wouldn't start for a few hours, so we all grabbed a drink to settle our nerves while we waited for the boat to arrive.  After the cruise a few of us grabbed dinner and I eventually picked up the laundry I had dropped off that morning.  The best part about the end of my day?  The local pants I bought a few weeks ago happened to be purple and bled in the wash, so all my light colored shirts/underwear/etc. are now pink.  What can you do but laugh?  I'm officially about to make pink the sexiest color you've ever seen on a mudblooded Eurasian.  

The next leg of my trip involved heading to the small town of Kep and taking a boat to Rabbit Island, but that's a story for another blog.

Random GoPros

For $3/night this is what you get, a foam mattress on the floor with a mosquito net.  What more do you need?

An alcoholic always takes his life on the rocks.

My only showers on the island were swimming in the ocean.  Life is so much simpler than we make it out to be.

Just a simple hammock, but it was perfect for that island.  Best accommodation of my trip so far :)

There were so many small beaches that were completely private if you were willing to hike to them...such an amazing place.  I really did fall in love with this island.

View from atop the haunted casino

Because that's not creepy.  #SeannyDarko

The waterless waterfall aka waterfail

Fucking Toyota...Apparently they didn't tell Cambodia about the brake failure recall

Bamboo Trains, Killing Fields, and Beaches

Usually when I arrive in a new place I find a spot to drop my bags off and then head around to see the attractions.  What I don't expect, is that the first attraction I see will be a homeless guy covered in dirt walking out of an alley... Who then proceeds to drop his pants and show his penis to the world.  I wish I could say this is the first time I've witnessed this, but I also saw it happen in Laos.  

Battambang is the second most populous city in Cambodia and houses the infamous bamboo train, which is basically just a bamboo table with an engine attached to the back.  The train will eventually be replaced by an actual train system, but the development dates are unknown.  Since there is a good chance this won't be available five to ten years from now, I figured I might as well take advantage of the lack of safety regulations and make the trip.  There is only one set of rails, so traffic goes both ways.  If you are facing an oncoming collision, each train driver will hop off and then debate who has to move their train off the tracks.  After the oncoming train(s) pass, they throw the wheel bases back on the track (which I'm fairly certain are just 7 kg curl bars) and then put the bamboo table back on top and you're ready to go.  At one point a giant beam fell off the bottom of my train when they threw it on the ground, but apparently that was no cause for concern.

There is no way these trains would be allowed in any developed country.  The rails are warped and occasionally have gaps, the tracks are overgrown with greenery and you constantly hit mounds of dirt covered in rocks.  It's like a roller coaster with no seat belt or maintenance.  In other words, it's fantastic!  You ride 20 minutes up to a small town and then 20 minutes back, but to be honest, after the first half you're kind of just like, yeahhhhhhhh that's enough.  While at the stop, I ended up buying a pair of elephant pants (finally) and a tank top to commemorate my trip.  The lady also gave me a free bracelet.  She was pretty hilarious, giving everyone the same sales pitch about how she has had no business all day, but I'm pretty sure she gets 90% of business in that place.  The Khmer are quite charming compared to their other Southeastern counterparts.

I got no time that I got to get to where I don't need to be.  So I, I need this old train to breakdown, oh please just, let me please breakdown.

Head on collision

Putting the train back together

Safety standards met....0

My driver, Bruce Lee

Since I was only there for a night I also did some speed tourism, throwing my gopro on my wrist and going for a run down the riverfront.  It's almost like a giant park on either side if the river, with ultra wide walkways and social areas for kids to play mini sport games.  It was a cool place, but in the end it's just a city, not somewhere I desired to stay more than a night.   Battambang did have the best food of my trip though, outside of night markets.  For lunch I had the traditional Khmer curry with fish called Amok, which was incredible, and for dinner I had a Cambodian salad at a place called Gecko Cafe that was unreal.  You throw some beet root and apples into a salad and you have all sorts of taste bud explosion.  They also give money back to employees, similar to the Genevieve's restaurant we ate at in Siem Reap.  In addition they also only allow employees to work 35 hours a week, but still pay them full time wages to help promote a healthy work/life balance.  They also don't claim NGO or any sort of charitable status, so they still get taxed at normal clips.  Heck they even pay all their employees taxes as well.  It's pretty cool to see such progressive setups in Cambodia, I would never have thought it would be like this.

I wanted to go to Koh Kong from Battambang since it's directly south, but there are no roads between the two.  Thus the only option was going to Phnom Penh via night bus and then catching a second bus headed for Koh Kong.  I figured it made more sense to just go to Phnom Penh for a few days and then head after.  It's pretty crazy that you have to zig-zag across the country, but paved roads are a luxury here.  It's quite humbling, because they have so much less in terms of material goods, but they aren't resentful or anything.  They're just super kind and helpful people that are always smiling.  If I'm ever walking around looking for something random, people will just call me over and help me out.  It's amazing.  My fellow travelers coming here from Laos are just like how is this possible, why are people being nice to me?

Phnom Penh is pretty massive, so there are various areas where backpackers congregate.  I ended up in an area near an old dried up lake.  It was only $4/night for my own private room, so I figured why not?  My first full day consisted of visiting the killing fields and the S-21 prison, which are two of the most infamous places held by the Khmer Rouge.  During the Rouge's reign an estimated 2-3 million were murdered, which was somewhere between 20-30% of the Cambodian population.  What's even crazier is that this happened in the mid to late 70s, less than 40 years ago. I started with the killing fields because they are 45 minutes outside of town and my tuk tuk driver preferred to get the long drive out of the way first.

They have streamlined the tour through the killing fields by offering an audiobook that coincides with marked stops throughout the field. Some of the stops are disturbing and grotesque, such as The Killing Tree,  which executioners used to smash babies' heads against before throwing them in mass graves.  Their logic was to destroy entire families so no one could ever seek vengeance.  They had a second tree, called the magic tree, that they blared music from each night to mask the screams of those being murdered.  The final stop on the tour was a Memorial Stupa, which is filled with rows upon rows of victims' skulls.

The Killing Tree

Memorial Stupa

There are over 5,000 skulls in the Stupa

The S-21 prison was quite brutal as well.  It was originally a high school before being turned into a torture prison, in which an estimated 20,000 people were murdered.  Only twelve people survived and only three are alive today.  The only reason they were kept alive was because they had skills, such as fixing machinery or painting portraits.  It's crazy to see one of the survivors outside the prison selling his books.  I can't imagine going back to a place I was tortured everyday, I would shatter.  The torture methods were pretty intense, prisoners were strapped to metal beds with no mattresses and had a bucket placed beneath to go to the bathroom in.  If they missed the bucket they had to clean it up with their tongue...The place was super creepy and I hated being inside of it, I was happy to get out of the last building.

It was one of those travel days where you don't want to see this stuff, but you need to.  I don't recall learning about any of this in school (most fellow travelers have said the same), so it was pretty horrifying to hear all the details of the torturing techniques and death tolls.  The guy in charge of the Khmer Rouge, Pol Pot, wasn't even arrested for his crimes.  He eventually committed suicide in 1998 after the remaining members of the Khmer Rouge announced plans to hand him over to an international tribunal for judgment.  It's hard to believe he wasn't arrested or assassinated sooner, but somehow he managed to live free for nearly 20 years after the fall of his regime.  Monsters and men, sometimes they're one in the same.

The final 14 victims are buried out front

Victims were hung upside down with their hands and feet tied behind their backs upon these gallows during torture sessions.  If they passed out, their heads were dunked in dirty water so they would regain consciousness for further interrogation.

The buildings were lined with barbwire so prisoners couldn't jump off the landings to kill themselves

I barely fit through the doorway with my backpack

I decided to head to Sihanoukville the next day since I didn't think there was much else to do in Phnom Penh.  I did my laundry at the guest house I was staying in and they overcharged me by 50 cents per kilo, but I let it slide.  I've actually been overcharged two or three times since entering Cambodia, but I just figure they can use the dollar more than me, so I don't really care.   I was supposed to be picked up and taken to the bus station, but no one came for me, so I jumped on one of the guest house worker's motorbikes and he took me down there.  The dude threw caution to the wind and drove like a maniac, probably because I was in danger of missing the bus.  I was so afraid for my life during the ride that I thought I might have actually had an anxiety attack.  There's absolutely no rules for motos, you can drive on the wrong side of the road towards oncoming traffic, weave through gas stations, turn through red lights, whatever they want.  

The bus ride wasn't much better, it's only supposed to take 4-6 hours, but ours took closer to 8.  At one point we were just stopped for 45 minutes.  The AC also only worked in waves, and I think everyone knows I sweat like a Turk, so I pity everyone around me.  I actually don't even know any Turks to make that sweatiness comparison, so that last comment was just blind racism.  My apologies to any dumb, greasy Turks reading this blog.  

IlluSeans

My secret - long exposure on the camera.  If you set the shutter to stay open for 8 seconds, but you are only in the frame for 4 seconds, that means stuff behind you was also captured for 4 seconds...Since everything was captured at some point during the shot, it makes you appear like a ghost.  I'm 98% sure that's how Bill Cosby was filmed in Ghost Dad.

Sihanoukville seemed like a pretty cool place, with lots of beaches and an Vietnam Embassy to get your Visa in advance.  You can't get a Vietnamese Visa upon arrival unless you arrive at an airport, and that only works if you have pre-applied online.  So if you don't have an actual visa, you will get turned away at a land border.  I only stuck around for a night, deciding I would get the visa upon returning from Koh Rong, which is one of the nearby islands.  You have to buy a round-trip ticket, so I knew I would be back after my island tour.

There aren't any ATMs on the island, so I had to use one in town before going there.  The tuk tuk drivers wanted $12 round trip since the nearest ATM ($5 fee) was 15 minutes away, but luckily I found some other people going into town and split a ride with them.  I then hopped on some dude's scooter for the ride back for just $2, that's what I'm talking about!  So in the end, just going into town to use and ATM and return to the beach was $10....Pretty ridiculous.  I was also attacked by a dog while riding the moto, it ran out onto the street and jumped at the bike, biting my ankle as we rode by.  Shit's crazy out here.

Otres Beach 2

Sleep in a Teepee... Check

Upon arriving in Koh Rong, I found a hostel room above a bar that's missing an outside wall because it burned down in a fire a few weeks ago.  It also came with three free beers a day, so for six bucks I'd say it's a steal.  There was a poker tournament the first night and you got a free shot once you got knocked out.  I also got an additional shot, most likely because I'm adorable.  I lost with a full house to a kid that had a higher full house.  He had pocket queens, the only hand in the deck that could beat me.  Failing for me is always breezy.  

Second day trekked to a place called Long Beach that is about 45 minutes through the jungle.  It was my kind of place.  Beautiful white sands, beautiful women sunbathing topless, me looking beautiful in a onesie that would make Miley Cyrus blush.  A few guys were having a spliff on the way back, so I was offered a few free puffs.  I smoked maybe 5 times in my life before traveling....I think I've smoked or done shrooms in every country but but two on this trip so far.

I didn't learn how to read either of the times I repeated the second grade, but there was no death smiley on the sign, so I'm assuming it was safe.  I wish I would have brought water though, it was a long hike in the sun and I was rather dehydrated.

After nearly two months away from an ocean island, this was much needed

Long Beach

On my last day on the island, I was too sunburnt to go kayaking, snorkeling, or boat tripping, so I bought some aftersun at the extortionate price of $9 and hid in the shade.  That night I ended up meeting up with Max and his friend Heidi who had just made it to the island.  We ended up grabbing a few beers and catching a fire show along the beach, but it wasn't too impressive after seeing the ones in Thailand.  There were a couple of really good people, but it was more just amateurs having fun, so while entertaining, wasn't anything special.  

The next morning I had to catch a boat back to Sihanoukville so I could apply for my Vietnam visa and then figure out my plan for getting to another, smaller island.  However that is a story for another blog...


Random GoPros

Kra-nyung, the legendary founder of Battambang

I'm in desperate need of a makeover

Night Market

Traffic in Phnom Penh

There's nothing quite like riding a shitty boat

If there ever was a day that you should get away...I feel it in my bones, I think today's the day

It's better to die on your feet than live down on your knees....

Walls are overrated

Angkor Wat, Reunions, and The Terribly Untasty Turantula

I figured Laos would get one final shot in before I left, so I wasn't surprised that my journey from the 4000 Islands to Cambodia didn't even come close to what was sold to me.  I was supposed to take a VIP bus with WIFI all the way to Siem Reap, leaving at 8 in the morning and arriving at 10 PM.  Here's what really happened.  After taking the boat across to the mainland, we had to wander up to the bus station, without being given directions.  We then had to fill out some forms and leave our passports with the guy running the buses. The bus was supposed to leave at 9:30, but at 10:05 I was still watching a girl throw up in front of the bus.  Once we got to the border, everyone was told to step off the bus and then walk across the border with their bags. Afterwards, everyone sat there for an hour and a half, with no idea what was happening.  However, we did finally get our passports back.

You'd think that maybe we could leave at that point, but no.  Instead, we waited another 45 minutes before taking off.  The bus we were on was so shitty that 1/3rd of the seats were stuck in full recline mode.  It was so packed that the aisle was filled with stools.  After an hour or so we stopped in a place called Strung Trang, where an Australian couple apparently ran out of money.  Since there were no ATMs they needed someone to lend them $100, so I volunteered, despite the narcissistic comments of others on board saying I would never get my money back.  My parents told me that you should help others if you can.  Eventually we stopped and switched to a local bus at 9 PM, which was a pretty good indication we weren't going to arrive in Siem Reap by 10 PM like the schedule said.  

We finally got in at half past two in the morning and we had to tuk tuk into town so the Aussie's could pay me back.  We were also joined by a couple of German guys I met on the bus, Max and Paul.  We ended up having to take 2 tuk tuks, and when they dropped us off a few hundred meters from the real center of town, the Aussie girl proceeded to yell at the drivers for ripping us off.  The Germans and I were just like whatever, lets just deal with it.  After we hit up the ATM and I got my $100 back, I set off with Paul and Max to find a guest house.  As we got close to the place we were trying to find, Garden Village, a British guy popped out of a bar and told us he was buying each of us a beer.  By the time we got to the guest house, it was 4 in the morning and they told us that they were fully booked.  We asked if we could use the wifi for a few minutes and as we were surfing the web a couple came down to check out.  It turns out they were in a 3 bed room.  I don't know how this shit happens, but it's awesome.

The next day we didn't get up to much other than exploring town a little, but we proceeded to get super hammered that night.  Four of us at the guest house decided to split two bottles of whisky ($4.50 each) to pregame before heading to the bars.  I thought I was an acceptable level of drunk, but then I saw photos the next day that I don't remember taking, so apparently it only took 1 day in Cambodia for me to return to a rampant level of blackout drunk.  It's hard not to be an alcoholic when beer is nearly as cheap as water.  Beers in bars are typically 50 cents to $1.  The cheapest I saw was 35 cents.  Cambodia is also pretty interesting because they use the American dollar as their primary currency and then use the Cambodian Riel as change.  4000 Riel equals one Dollar, so if something is $2.50, you would pay using $2 and 2000 Riel.

If the rooms are full, you can always sleep on the volleyball court :)  Capitalism FTW

Ahh the Laughing Chinaman Baroso Bomb...my favorite drink

Max and I spent the next day exploring the Angkor Wat, which in Khmer means City of Temples. At one point, a tuk tuk driver on the street yelled at us asking if we needed a tuk tuk....while we were riding in a tuk tuk.  The locals here are too good.  Our first stop was the main Temple of Angkor Wat, which was my personal favorite.  You could spend hours inside searching all the intricacies of the stone work.  Max also learned that there's a carving of a dinosaur hidden somewhere inside, but we never saw it!  There's no despair from me though, gives me a good excuse to go back later and prove my various theories on extraterrestrial inter-dimensional time travel.

This is only the entryway that leads to the courtyard of the temple

Perfection, no?

These carvings stretch around the side of the main entrance, depicting various stories.  I think this one depicts when my great great great great great great great great great grandfather, Genghis Sean, took over half the known world.

Apparently some people thought it would be really cool to defile the upper level of the temple.  I blame Canada.

That's not me being disgustingly sweaty, it's just that my body can't contain all of my awesomeness and occasionally some leaks out

After spending about 90 minutes there we headed to Angkor Thom, which houses the Bayon Temple, where I let my inner Buddha flow.  The temple was really cool because it had a ton of faces carved into the pillars, so they stare at you when you walk through the complex.  We viewed three more temples that day, including the temple that was used in the Tomb Raider movie, Ta Prohm.  Ta Prohm had a really cool walkway that led to the temples, which are being overgrown by trees. 

The temples were absolutely spectacular, every time you stepped through an entryway you had no idea what to expect on the other end.  The amount of detail put into every piece is truly extraordinary and you can't help but stare in awe sometimes.  I didn't get the same otherworldly vibe of energy like I did at Machu Picchu, but it was the next closest thing.  The day also coincided with what would have been my dad's birthday, so it was pretty cool to fulfill one of my bucket list items on that date.  Very serendipitous indeed.

It was also pretty hilarious to roam the night market and interact with all the locals.  Max and I journeyed through various shops.  One girl came up to me and said,  "You very handsome, you be my boyfriend, ok?".  Then we passed by a couple massage parlors where the girls just surrounded us and grabbed our arms, so we couldn't walk without breaking their grips.  "You want massage?  We have private room, just for you."  It's hilarious, ridiculous, and kind of sad all at the same time.  But the one nice thing about the Khmer people are that they leave you alone if you make it clear you're not interested.

Pretty little girl, I've got my mind's eye on you.  What you gonna do?

Reach out a finger and touch the globe.  Wherever it stops, you've got to pack your bags and go

Tomb Raider Temple 

The wisdom's in the trees, not the glass windows

Sevens are overrated

I went back on my own for a second day to view the outer temples and get another glimpse of Angkor Wat.  I started at 9:30 and was ready to dominate the day, but five steps into my first temple, my flip flops broke.  The same flip flops that I had bought the previous night to replace my other pair of broken flip flops.  Apparently I don't catch breaks, I just make them.  Since there wasn't anyone selling shoes, I decided to just go barefoot, which in a weird way actually me appreciate it all more.  There were a few pathways that were pure gravel, which sucked, but otherwise it was an amazing experience.  The locals had a lot of fun having a go at me about being barefoot, they're pretty hilarious.

A lot of tourists (especially the Asian ones), don't really care if your taking pictures.  They'll walk right in front of you and hold up their camera in front of yours.  Apparently common courtesy has become common discourtesy.  However, I don't think anyone has ever respected me, and in all fairness I give them no reason to, so I can't get too upset.   After the five outlying temples were complete, I went back to Angkor Wat to make a few time lapses and watch the sunset.  Not a bad way to spend a few days.

The reason a lot of statues are missing heads, arms, left testicles, etc. is because the temples were constantly looted during various wars/takeovers

Preah Khan, my favorite of the day two temples

If life is just a gamble, then gamble if you want to win.  Oh life can be so easy, so let the wheel of fortune spin

Dragonflies soaring through the skies

You might be expecting something magical behind this entryway...Nope, just some stalls full of pants

Further proof that mankind has always loved boobies.  Boobies are not only round, they make this world go round.  #RespectForWomen

Can you imagine this being built 900 years ago?  Insane ............Also, Aliens

The next few nights I met up with Tom from my New Zealand Stray trip and eventually got to meet all the people he was travelling with on the Stray Southeast Asia tour.  One of the girls from his bus was also teasing me, telling me how good looking our children would be.  I was just thinking where has this girl been all my life?  If only I had joined Tom on that bus trip, I could have had a shot with a beautiful girl!  Instead I have only cold, wet tears to keep me warm at night.  Universe infinite, Sean 0.

The only thing I had to do the next day was buy a bus ticket to my next destination.  It was literally a 1 minute task and I walked by like 20 ticket booths, but I just couldn't summon the effort.  When you're unemployed, the thought of doing anything remotely similar to work is quite daunting.  That night I met up with the Austrian/German girls from Laos, who had finished Vietnam and started working their way through Cambodia.  Julia has arachnophobia, so we decided to conquer her fears by eating a tarantula.  I'm not sure how sanitary they are, but you just have to roll with it.  They fry up tarantulas, put them on a platter on a food cart, and then leave them outside in the elements until some idiot(s) decide to eat them.  For all you know they have been sitting there for five days, but at least the dirt from the roads gets kicked up to provide a nice seasoning.  The final result is you eating a cold, dirty, greasy, fried tarantula that still has hairs on it.

The girls were supposed to eat the legs and I was supposed to eat the body, but there was a lack of desire to have more than one or two legs, so i ended up eating 3 as well.  When the time came to eat the legs, Julia dropped hers on the street, but she picked it up and finished it off.   She said there's no five-second rule when you're eating a spider, and I can't say I disagree with the logic.  After the legs were taken care of, I had to eat the body.  I won't go so far as saying it was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten, but it tasted like death laced with despair.  You couldn't stop chewing it, it just broke into smaller crunchy bits; It never actually dissolved or became mushy.  After 40 seconds or so I was able to swallow the larger chunks, but there were still little bits stuck all over my mouth, so we had to get beers to wash it all down.   Tom, Max, and I also kept the girls out late, till about 3:30 in the morning.  They tried to claim I'm a bad influence, but....Na it's probably true, I'm a pretty terrible person.

What fears?  Lend me your hands and we'll conquer them all

What woman wouldn't want to make out with me when I'm sporting Tarantula tongue

Follow your bliss :)

Since I didn't book my bus ticket, I had to wait another day to leave, so I made sure I carved the necessary 60 seconds out of my morning to get a ticket this time.  It's a stressful and challenging life that I lead.  It was only $4.50 for a 4 hour ride including pickup from my guest house... Unreal.  As we searched for tickets a local guy also electronically opened his door as Tom was walking by to freak him out and then bust out laughing.  People here are awesome!
 We all met up for lunch at a place called Genevieve's that Tom found;  The owner gives 10% of profits to the staff each month as a bonus, and another 10% to NGOs.  He also teaches English to kids for an hour each day.  The innate kindness of others is pretty spectacular sometimes.  There's actually quite a few places that have similar setups throughout Cambodia.

That night we all shared a few drinks and said our farewells since everyone was heading in a different direction the next morning.  Tom was making his way to Vietnam, Max was going to Phnom Penh, I was going to Battambang, and the girls were off to visit the temples.  Goodbyes don't seem to last too long in the travel world though, so I'm hopeful I'll see them all again! Battambang is known for their bamboo train system...You don't even want to know, but that's a story for another blog.

Random GoPros

Situation number one, it's the one that's just begun, but evidently it's too late...

Situation number two, it's the only chance for you, it's controlled by denizens of hate...

Situation number three, it's the one that no one sees, it's all too often dismissed as fate

Situation number four, the one that left you wanting more, it tantalized you with it's bait...

Situation number five, it's the one where you will thrive, so go, why would you wait?

Jack Johnson - Situations 

In order to get stones to the higher levels of the temples, holes were cut into their sides and then a pulley system was attached to an elephant, so when it walked forward the stones were lifted up.

Everything is possible