Angkor Wat, Reunions, and The Terribly Untasty Turantula

I figured Laos would get one final shot in before I left, so I wasn't surprised that my journey from the 4000 Islands to Cambodia didn't even come close to what was sold to me.  I was supposed to take a VIP bus with WIFI all the way to Siem Reap, leaving at 8 in the morning and arriving at 10 PM.  Here's what really happened.  After taking the boat across to the mainland, we had to wander up to the bus station, without being given directions.  We then had to fill out some forms and leave our passports with the guy running the buses. The bus was supposed to leave at 9:30, but at 10:05 I was still watching a girl throw up in front of the bus.  Once we got to the border, everyone was told to step off the bus and then walk across the border with their bags. Afterwards, everyone sat there for an hour and a half, with no idea what was happening.  However, we did finally get our passports back.

You'd think that maybe we could leave at that point, but no.  Instead, we waited another 45 minutes before taking off.  The bus we were on was so shitty that 1/3rd of the seats were stuck in full recline mode.  It was so packed that the aisle was filled with stools.  After an hour or so we stopped in a place called Strung Trang, where an Australian couple apparently ran out of money.  Since there were no ATMs they needed someone to lend them $100, so I volunteered, despite the narcissistic comments of others on board saying I would never get my money back.  My parents told me that you should help others if you can.  Eventually we stopped and switched to a local bus at 9 PM, which was a pretty good indication we weren't going to arrive in Siem Reap by 10 PM like the schedule said.  

We finally got in at half past two in the morning and we had to tuk tuk into town so the Aussie's could pay me back.  We were also joined by a couple of German guys I met on the bus, Max and Paul.  We ended up having to take 2 tuk tuks, and when they dropped us off a few hundred meters from the real center of town, the Aussie girl proceeded to yell at the drivers for ripping us off.  The Germans and I were just like whatever, lets just deal with it.  After we hit up the ATM and I got my $100 back, I set off with Paul and Max to find a guest house.  As we got close to the place we were trying to find, Garden Village, a British guy popped out of a bar and told us he was buying each of us a beer.  By the time we got to the guest house, it was 4 in the morning and they told us that they were fully booked.  We asked if we could use the wifi for a few minutes and as we were surfing the web a couple came down to check out.  It turns out they were in a 3 bed room.  I don't know how this shit happens, but it's awesome.

The next day we didn't get up to much other than exploring town a little, but we proceeded to get super hammered that night.  Four of us at the guest house decided to split two bottles of whisky ($4.50 each) to pregame before heading to the bars.  I thought I was an acceptable level of drunk, but then I saw photos the next day that I don't remember taking, so apparently it only took 1 day in Cambodia for me to return to a rampant level of blackout drunk.  It's hard not to be an alcoholic when beer is nearly as cheap as water.  Beers in bars are typically 50 cents to $1.  The cheapest I saw was 35 cents.  Cambodia is also pretty interesting because they use the American dollar as their primary currency and then use the Cambodian Riel as change.  4000 Riel equals one Dollar, so if something is $2.50, you would pay using $2 and 2000 Riel.

If the rooms are full, you can always sleep on the volleyball court :)  Capitalism FTW

Ahh the Laughing Chinaman Baroso Bomb...my favorite drink

Max and I spent the next day exploring the Angkor Wat, which in Khmer means City of Temples. At one point, a tuk tuk driver on the street yelled at us asking if we needed a tuk tuk....while we were riding in a tuk tuk.  The locals here are too good.  Our first stop was the main Temple of Angkor Wat, which was my personal favorite.  You could spend hours inside searching all the intricacies of the stone work.  Max also learned that there's a carving of a dinosaur hidden somewhere inside, but we never saw it!  There's no despair from me though, gives me a good excuse to go back later and prove my various theories on extraterrestrial inter-dimensional time travel.

This is only the entryway that leads to the courtyard of the temple

Perfection, no?

These carvings stretch around the side of the main entrance, depicting various stories.  I think this one depicts when my great great great great great great great great great grandfather, Genghis Sean, took over half the known world.

Apparently some people thought it would be really cool to defile the upper level of the temple.  I blame Canada.

That's not me being disgustingly sweaty, it's just that my body can't contain all of my awesomeness and occasionally some leaks out

After spending about 90 minutes there we headed to Angkor Thom, which houses the Bayon Temple, where I let my inner Buddha flow.  The temple was really cool because it had a ton of faces carved into the pillars, so they stare at you when you walk through the complex.  We viewed three more temples that day, including the temple that was used in the Tomb Raider movie, Ta Prohm.  Ta Prohm had a really cool walkway that led to the temples, which are being overgrown by trees. 

The temples were absolutely spectacular, every time you stepped through an entryway you had no idea what to expect on the other end.  The amount of detail put into every piece is truly extraordinary and you can't help but stare in awe sometimes.  I didn't get the same otherworldly vibe of energy like I did at Machu Picchu, but it was the next closest thing.  The day also coincided with what would have been my dad's birthday, so it was pretty cool to fulfill one of my bucket list items on that date.  Very serendipitous indeed.

It was also pretty hilarious to roam the night market and interact with all the locals.  Max and I journeyed through various shops.  One girl came up to me and said,  "You very handsome, you be my boyfriend, ok?".  Then we passed by a couple massage parlors where the girls just surrounded us and grabbed our arms, so we couldn't walk without breaking their grips.  "You want massage?  We have private room, just for you."  It's hilarious, ridiculous, and kind of sad all at the same time.  But the one nice thing about the Khmer people are that they leave you alone if you make it clear you're not interested.

Pretty little girl, I've got my mind's eye on you.  What you gonna do?

Reach out a finger and touch the globe.  Wherever it stops, you've got to pack your bags and go

Tomb Raider Temple 

The wisdom's in the trees, not the glass windows

Sevens are overrated

I went back on my own for a second day to view the outer temples and get another glimpse of Angkor Wat.  I started at 9:30 and was ready to dominate the day, but five steps into my first temple, my flip flops broke.  The same flip flops that I had bought the previous night to replace my other pair of broken flip flops.  Apparently I don't catch breaks, I just make them.  Since there wasn't anyone selling shoes, I decided to just go barefoot, which in a weird way actually me appreciate it all more.  There were a few pathways that were pure gravel, which sucked, but otherwise it was an amazing experience.  The locals had a lot of fun having a go at me about being barefoot, they're pretty hilarious.

A lot of tourists (especially the Asian ones), don't really care if your taking pictures.  They'll walk right in front of you and hold up their camera in front of yours.  Apparently common courtesy has become common discourtesy.  However, I don't think anyone has ever respected me, and in all fairness I give them no reason to, so I can't get too upset.   After the five outlying temples were complete, I went back to Angkor Wat to make a few time lapses and watch the sunset.  Not a bad way to spend a few days.

The reason a lot of statues are missing heads, arms, left testicles, etc. is because the temples were constantly looted during various wars/takeovers

Preah Khan, my favorite of the day two temples

If life is just a gamble, then gamble if you want to win.  Oh life can be so easy, so let the wheel of fortune spin

Dragonflies soaring through the skies

You might be expecting something magical behind this entryway...Nope, just some stalls full of pants

Further proof that mankind has always loved boobies.  Boobies are not only round, they make this world go round.  #RespectForWomen

Can you imagine this being built 900 years ago?  Insane ............Also, Aliens

The next few nights I met up with Tom from my New Zealand Stray trip and eventually got to meet all the people he was travelling with on the Stray Southeast Asia tour.  One of the girls from his bus was also teasing me, telling me how good looking our children would be.  I was just thinking where has this girl been all my life?  If only I had joined Tom on that bus trip, I could have had a shot with a beautiful girl!  Instead I have only cold, wet tears to keep me warm at night.  Universe infinite, Sean 0.

The only thing I had to do the next day was buy a bus ticket to my next destination.  It was literally a 1 minute task and I walked by like 20 ticket booths, but I just couldn't summon the effort.  When you're unemployed, the thought of doing anything remotely similar to work is quite daunting.  That night I met up with the Austrian/German girls from Laos, who had finished Vietnam and started working their way through Cambodia.  Julia has arachnophobia, so we decided to conquer her fears by eating a tarantula.  I'm not sure how sanitary they are, but you just have to roll with it.  They fry up tarantulas, put them on a platter on a food cart, and then leave them outside in the elements until some idiot(s) decide to eat them.  For all you know they have been sitting there for five days, but at least the dirt from the roads gets kicked up to provide a nice seasoning.  The final result is you eating a cold, dirty, greasy, fried tarantula that still has hairs on it.

The girls were supposed to eat the legs and I was supposed to eat the body, but there was a lack of desire to have more than one or two legs, so i ended up eating 3 as well.  When the time came to eat the legs, Julia dropped hers on the street, but she picked it up and finished it off.   She said there's no five-second rule when you're eating a spider, and I can't say I disagree with the logic.  After the legs were taken care of, I had to eat the body.  I won't go so far as saying it was the most disgusting thing I've ever eaten, but it tasted like death laced with despair.  You couldn't stop chewing it, it just broke into smaller crunchy bits; It never actually dissolved or became mushy.  After 40 seconds or so I was able to swallow the larger chunks, but there were still little bits stuck all over my mouth, so we had to get beers to wash it all down.   Tom, Max, and I also kept the girls out late, till about 3:30 in the morning.  They tried to claim I'm a bad influence, but....Na it's probably true, I'm a pretty terrible person.

What fears?  Lend me your hands and we'll conquer them all

What woman wouldn't want to make out with me when I'm sporting Tarantula tongue

Follow your bliss :)

Since I didn't book my bus ticket, I had to wait another day to leave, so I made sure I carved the necessary 60 seconds out of my morning to get a ticket this time.  It's a stressful and challenging life that I lead.  It was only $4.50 for a 4 hour ride including pickup from my guest house... Unreal.  As we searched for tickets a local guy also electronically opened his door as Tom was walking by to freak him out and then bust out laughing.  People here are awesome!
 We all met up for lunch at a place called Genevieve's that Tom found;  The owner gives 10% of profits to the staff each month as a bonus, and another 10% to NGOs.  He also teaches English to kids for an hour each day.  The innate kindness of others is pretty spectacular sometimes.  There's actually quite a few places that have similar setups throughout Cambodia.

That night we all shared a few drinks and said our farewells since everyone was heading in a different direction the next morning.  Tom was making his way to Vietnam, Max was going to Phnom Penh, I was going to Battambang, and the girls were off to visit the temples.  Goodbyes don't seem to last too long in the travel world though, so I'm hopeful I'll see them all again! Battambang is known for their bamboo train system...You don't even want to know, but that's a story for another blog.

Random GoPros

Situation number one, it's the one that's just begun, but evidently it's too late...

Situation number two, it's the only chance for you, it's controlled by denizens of hate...

Situation number three, it's the one that no one sees, it's all too often dismissed as fate

Situation number four, the one that left you wanting more, it tantalized you with it's bait...

Situation number five, it's the one where you will thrive, so go, why would you wait?

Jack Johnson - Situations 

In order to get stones to the higher levels of the temples, holes were cut into their sides and then a pulley system was attached to an elephant, so when it walked forward the stones were lifted up.

Everything is possible

New Years Eve....Thailand Full Moon Style

After Christmas I decided to make my way accross Thailand to get to the East coast islands.  My island of choice was Ko (Alternatively spelled Koh, it just means island) Tao, which is the most popular place in Thailand to get your scuba diving certification.  To get there I had to take a minibus from my hostel to the main bus station, then take a bus to Suratthani.  Once it Suratthani, I was supposed to be picked up from the bus stop and taken to an overnight boat that went to Ko Tao.  However, the lady I bought my ticket from forgot to contact them apparently, so they weren't expecting me.

Luckily their office was only a few blocks from the bus stop, but once I arrived the people working there didn't feel the need to help me as the main guy was playing an intense game of Chinese checkers on his computer...  His little girls did hook me up with a free water as I waited though, which was awfully sweet of them.  After 30 minutes he finally made a call and after another 30 minutes of talking to people, they were able to find my reservation and I finally got taken down to the boat.  Always an adventure :)

Boat Dorm

First time sleeping on a cargo ship!

The boat docked into Ko Tao at 7 am, so I had breakfast while waiting for the ticket shops to open and then booked a ticket to Ko Phangan for 3 in the afternoon, since you have to arrive a few days in advance of the full moon parties to procure a room.  It was the easiest haggle of my life, I asked the lady if I could get the ticket for 400 baht instead of 450 and she was just like ok, plus she let me store my big bag while I wandered the island.

I was able to wander to the main beach on the island and was amazed by the views and overall cleanliness of the place.  The water there is unbelievably clear and has the multiple hues of blue that I love so much.  I really wish I had more time there so I could do my open water diving certification.  You could do it for between $250-$280, which included accommodation and breakfast for 4 days.  Most other places it's around $370 and often doesn't include accommodation, Australia would be between $600-800.  I guess I'll just have to make my way back in the future!  I also had the most amazing chocolate banana fruit shake, it was life changing.  I got Garlic naan, Thai vegetarian red curry (which for some reason contained a 500 grams of chicken) and that shake for 165 baht.... Roughly $5.

Koh Tao!

The beach is clean because trash is dumped into this forest apparently...The entire back half is cardboard boxes

A little jealous of the rich bastards that can afford to stay in that hotel...

Definitely want to come back and do some diving here

Now this is the view you should expect from a bar!!!!

Once I took my boat over to Ko Pha Ngan (alternatively spelled Pha-ngan or Phangan), Peppe was waiting to pick me up with the scooter like a legit tuk-tuk driver.  He also found a pretty sweet hostel for 200 baht a night, which was crazy cheap because most places double or triple their prices before the big parties.  We checked out a makeshift market, which operates once a week by shutting down a few blocks in order to erect vendor stalls.  Then we grabbed dinner at the night market.  That place is amazing.  Sushi is 10 baht, so 3 pieces of sushi is less than a dollar...I ate it every day.  A plate of Pad Thai was 30-40 baht.  And the fruit shakes were only 30 baht each.  You could get up to four different pieces of fruit in them.  Fruit and ice, occasionally some milk.  Healthy and delicious, I drink one or two a day and love it.

That night we took the scooter up north and then ended up going to a bar near our hostel.  Upon learning I was American, the bar hostess immediately yelled at her girls, thus we were joined in our game of pool by a pair of prostitutes. Another thing I've been dying to check off my bucket list. I can't even make this stuff up, life is so random when you're a professional backpacker.

Day two involved taking the scooter out to some waterfalls, which we proceeded to climb down for fun.  We also witnessed some of the worst scooter injuries I've ever imagined.  One girl's leg was completely covered in blood, with giant chunks of flesh missing from both knees.  The look of pain and anguish on her face was like nothing I've ever seen, but luckily there was help on the scene and none of her injuries were life-threatening.  We also took a journey out to a bar called Amsterdam, where you could buy weed directly from the bar.  In a country where using drugs can lead to the death penalty, I find it strangely ironic how you can get drugs so easily.  After hanging out at Amsterdam bar for a little while, we headed back to the hostel for a few swigs of rum and then headed to the Jungle Experience, which was a massive party in the middle of the jungle.

Who can resist smiling when they see two dogs playing on the beach? Well I mean other than Kim Jong-un and Satan

Random lookout point

Waterfalls are normal for me now, just normal everyday bits of scenery

It was a little pricy to get in at 300 baht ($10), but we figured how often do you get to party in the jungle.  A huge space was cleared out, so there were bars set up in congruence with the DJs blaring techno music.  Getting a drink was a huge hassle as there were maybe ten bartenders to serve several thousand people, but that's why you buy buckets!  For reasons unknown as we were dancing amongst the crowd, some British girl couldn't stop staring at me.  I mean of course this is normal for me, seeing as I'm ridiculously good looking, but it was super weird because she was there with her boyfriend.

Into the mouth of the lion

After I stopped dancing with crazy eyes, an Italian girl we met was like yeah, that's super weird she's still staring at you, you should probably find another girl here, one that isn't here with her boyfriend.  A few moments later when I asked her where her boyfriend had went off to, she leaned in and whispered, "Oh, he's not my boyfriend".  I'm not sure if it's because I trimmed back my unibrow or wiped before pulling my underpants back up that day, but for a few brief moments I had game son!  When the buckets come out and the DJs start spinning, well tables they turn sometimes!  Peppe and I stayed out until 6 AM and then rolled back to our hostel to get a few hours of sleep before heading down to the main beach for the pre-full moon party.

The pre-party was built around competitions; Including sand volleyball, soccer, and of course a bikini contest.  There was also a sexy man contest, which got hijacked by a dude with a Santa thong.  He got interviewed by the host after coming on stage and said he was Frank de Tank, which was pretty damn funny. We also hit up one of the greatest buffets I've ever been to in my life.  For less than $10, you could eat unlimited grilled meats, fish, and prawns (shrimp).  In addition they had salad, potato salad, spring rolls, and a few other appetizers.  My only downfall was that my stomach has shrunken smaller than that of an anorexic gnat's, since I eat the minimum amount of food needed for survival.  Thus my ability to gorge was rather paltry.  After the buffet we roamed for a few hours, but then decided to have an early night back at the hostel since we were planning on getting crazy drunk the following night for New Year's Eve.

Bikini Contest

Since it was our last day on the island we decided to do a big tour.  Thus we ventured out to climb another waterfall and hike around the surrounding woods to get to a lookout point.  We also checked out some Buddhist temples and finally drove to one last lookout point before heading to a restaurant to get a fruit shake.  When we got to the restaurant, we noticed the tide was low and some people were hiking on a patch of sand that had risen out of the ocean , so we walked a hundred meters or so through the jellyfish laden waters to end up on the mini island.

Climbing Waterfalls

Watch your step...

They call it a full moon for a reason!!!

My gong song...Not quite as epic as Sisqo's Thong Song (We both know you're youtubing that song right now....)

Enter the Dragon

Maybe someday I'll follow this and be goody goody....but right now I'm feeling naughty naughty

This is so the creepiest statue ever, it's all skeletal and veiny, my god it's like looking into my future

This is where I want to have my fortress of solitude

View from a random pier

Lookout Point

Random patch of beach that rose from the ocean

I love islands...so flawless

Jelly!!!!!!!

After getting back to the hostel and showering, we got some M150 to mix with our bottle of vodka, which we proceeded to empty in 30 minutes...probably a terrible decision as we both went to an epic level of blackout drunk.  We were supposed to have a Gili Hostel reunion with Daphne at a bar that looked like a ship, but we couldn't find her in the midst of the huge crowd, well that and the fact we were both shitfaced beyond redemption.  I vaguely recall scaling the ship wall in our attempts to find her, but it's all a blur, so who knows if that memory is real or imagined.  Sometimes I'm not sure how I'm still alive.

At some point we ran into some Dutch girls that we also shared a room with at Gili Hostel...crazy small world.  In their drunken state of confusion, they found me attractive, oh beer goggles, how I love thee.  So my New Years started off by sharing a few kisses with a pretty Dutch girl, not too shabby eh!  I was so drunk, I don't remember meeting them, and I'm not sure I even realized they were the same girls from the hostel until the next day.  At one point, she started leaning into me really hard as we were kissing and I was so drunk I lost my balance and we went tumbling into the sand.   That's the risk you take ladies!!!!

The next thing I remember is roaming the beach by myself and realizing Peppe was gone and I should probably go find him.  I have no idea what happened to the Dutch girls, as I was blacked out during the part where they left me or I left them, who knows.  I wandered around for what seemed like forever, but was probably about twenty minutes, in the massive crowd of 50,000 people and couldn't find him.  Just when I was about to give up, I ran into him on the street.  We went back down to the beach to grab some egg rolls and then decided we should just head back to the hostel.

I was drunkenly asking cabbies if we could throw the scooter in the back of their truckbed, to which the universal answer was no.  However, at some point Peppe decided he could drive, so we hopped on the scooter, which was probably the scarriest/most dangerous thing I've done yet. The roads in Ko Phangan are insanely hilly and curvy, so with the combination of drunkenness, other drunk drivers, and taxis driving people all over the place, it was an accident waiting to happen... Our accident came when all of a sudden all the cars stopped while we were going uphill, so Peppe had to slam on the brakes and as we came to a stop, the moped fell over on him.  Having sobered slightly to the level of a highly functioning alcoholic, I was able to catch myself without falling to the ground.

The funniest moments came when we woke up the next morning and realized neither of us remembered what happened the night before, other than the Dutch girls and the scooter incident.  Then Peppe opened up his phone to see if he took any pictures and sure enough there were loads of us doing poses with random people, wandering the beach, and a video with Peppe screaming, "Happy New Year, I Love You" at every living creature and probably some imaginary ones that crossed his path.  At one point a girl just asks him if he's ok, it was awesome.

Peppe's iPhone Photos

Playing pool with some Thai hookers...yeahhhhh

I have mad game with prostitutes, they all want me...

Let's drink for this time we have earned :)

"Happy New Year Everyone, I Love You"

2 for me, 1 for you bro!!!

Between Peppe's hat and my Hello Kitty sunglasses, we were accessorizing like real badasses!!!

No clue who this dude is, but he's clearly pretty awesome

We apparently went to give some love to the people at the amazing buffet!

You should always be afraid of where your girl will be, cus who knows she could be alone with me.... :p

It was also around this time that I was informed that I was covered in body paint, though I have no recollection of that happening.  I also spent around 700 baht, which will remain a mystery.  After grabbing breakfast, we headed down to the docks because our boat to Ko Tao left at noon.  I wanted to go to Ko Samui, but the boats were all full, so I figured I might as well go to Ko Tao since I could get to Bangkok cheaper from there.  Once we arrived, we struggled, but eventually found a hostel as nearly everything was full.

We roamed the beaches for a while and then I went on a quest to find a boat to Chumpon so I could bus/train from there to Bangkok.  However it turned out that the train option was booked through the next 9 days and the bus for the next 3, so my only option was to go back south to Surratthani and then bus to Bangkok from there.  This option cost an extra 500 baht ($17), but it was the only way I would have enough time to see Bangkok before heading to the elephant sanctuary.  Effin tourist peak season!!!  The journey didn't exactly go as the itinerary stated, but that is a story for another blog....


Random GoPros

Ko Tao

Para Para Paradise...

How did mankind stare at the sun and moon, see they were both giant round balls and then assume the Earth was flat... For hundreds of years.  That's always struck me as odd

Just a friendly cat taking a nap in the grocery store...

Ko Pha Ngan

Someday this tree will stand in my shadow....

Waterfallin

Paths are for pansies, real men climb!!!!

The world's a jungle gym, play with it

Lookout Point

Some pics just look way cooler with a gopro

The Scooter

Back on Ko Tao

I'll be back again...someday

Happy New Year everyone!!! I hope 2014 finds you with everything you've been hoping for...

Jellyfish video