Magnetic Island and Cairns Skydive

Thanks to everyone who kept my family in their thoughts and prayers over the past few days.  Your support means a lot.  Here's my way of saying thanks:

Even when someone you love is six feet under ground

And you're too shaken to make a sound

There is comfort in having such amazing friends abound

Whose warm wishes can turn your spirits around

For all hope that's lost can be found

So my friends, can you hear that sound?

It's my spirits being lifted off the ground

There are no more tears around

On my face only a smile can be found

For in my heart, hope's abound

Alright, enough poetry, back to my shameful seananigans.  When I awoke to pack my bags and get ready for my bus to Townsville, I was rocking a pretty extreme hangover, so I did what any logical person would do; I ate a crapload of McDonalds and drank some coffee.  As I lugged my bags down to the bus stop, I was hoping to sweat out some of the booze, because I'm pretty sure my body was 60% alcohol instead of water at that point.  Once I got onto the bus, I curled up in the fetal position and went into hibernation mode.  After roughly two hours, we made our first stop.

As we all filed out of the bus, four dudes headed towards the bathroom with one intention, throwing up.  One guy was in there puking his guts out, while two others decided they couldn't wait for the one stall to open and went to vomit outside.  Once that stall opened, my finger was down my throat and I spewed all sorts of booze infused Egg McMuffin particles into that toilet.  Then I drank a giant gatorade, ate some crackers, and felt like a Greek god.  Alcohol...Bulimia...Cured.  It's the ABCs of a hangover folks.  After a few more hours on the bus, I arrived in Townsville and immediately hopped on a ferry to Magnetic Island.

Magnetic Island

When I arrived on Magnetic, I hopped on the local bus to get to my hostel, but was a little surprised when it was full of school kids.  Lucky for them I shaved my pedophile mustache upon arriving in Australia, otherwise I would have been quoting Matthew McConaughey, "That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age. Alright!". I was under the impression Magnetic was tiny and you could walk it in a few hours, but that was definitely not the case, it's got some size to it (that's what she said).

After a much needed shower and countless brushings of the teeth, I ventured out to find a grocery store to get some deodorant since I had just run out, and as we all know, when my pits get sweaty it smells like two landfills having a farting contest. I had a free meal/drink voucher from when I checked in, and as I went to redeem it, ran into Emelie and Anna, so I ended up grabbing dinner with them. We all decided there was no way we could drink after the previous night's revelry and I have to say it was nice to be able to finally talk without dance music blaring in the background!

The next day I journeyed to the koala sanctuary, because Victoria from my Stray trip in NZ had told me you could hold tons of critters and it was cheap...  It was sooooo insanely cheap at $21.  The only photo you had to pay for was holding a koala, which was $15.  On top of that the bus ticket was only $5.50 round trip from my hostel, so it was roughly $40 for the entire experience, whereas it was $40 just to hold a koala at the Australia Zoo. Twas the most bang for your buck activity I have done in Australia.

Sometimes I stroke my croc, what's the big deal?!?!?!? 

I finally found a bird that fancies me! If only she was human... and a she.  This bird was actually a dude, which I should have surmised since it's a cockatoo.  His name is literally an anagram stating he has "a cock too"

I think this cockatoo just locked eyes with the crazy eyes cow from New Zealand...

What better pose to strike at a Zoo than Zoolander's?

This snake was putty in my hands thanks to my mastery of parseltongue 

When the lady pulled this lizard off my head, he was tangled in my hair and she told me I needed to use more conditioner...I can't win

There's the tortoise and the hare, and then there's the turtle and the hair.  60% of the time, the hair wins every time...

Someone was a little jealous when she saw me kissing the cockatoo...

After spending two days there, I'm still not sure why it's called Magnetic Island, because there was literally nothing magnetic about it.  I didn't see so much as a fridge magnet.  I mean the only thing remotely magnetic was the fact that all the women there were drawn to me, but let's face it, that's everywhere.  (Random business idea:  I'm lying down in a glorious golden meadow in my $6000 suit [c'mon] with a bunch of baby chicks crawling all over me.  The caption: chick magnet.  Bam, that's how you sell a suit!)

I hung out in Townsville for a few days, but that was probably a mistake as it was the most boring place in Australia.  I had to walk about 1.5km to get to my hostel in the 32 degree heat (90 Farenheit).  On top of that, once I entered my room I had the pleasure of seeing an old, fat german dude roam around in his underwear.  He was replaced by a young, attractive blonde girl the following day however, so I was lifted from my depression and thankful I hadn't gouged my eyes out with a spoon.  

Townsville's twisted train tracks (when you said that in your head did it come out twisted train or twisted twain?)

I couldn't get a good read on this girl, she didn't talk much, but then she would only wear oversized t-shirts to bed that were see through to the point that you could make out each stitch on the lacy fringes of her lingerie. I mean... if you were looking, which I totally wasn't, because I'm a gentleman (#RespectForWomen).  I was also disappointed that Halloween isn't a huge celebration in Australia like it is in the states.  I mean, it's the greatest holiday of the year.  I can be shirtless, you can be shirtless, there's endless supplies of booze, and you have the perfect defense of, "I don't know what you were talking about, that totally wasn't me, I switched costumes halfway through the night."  They took a recipe for success and threw it away.  But anyways, after a few uneventful days in Townsville, I hopped on Greyhound for one last time so I could get to Cairns.

Cairns is one of those places you feel really good about, like destiny summoned you there and you don't know why.  I was glad to find my hostel was a mere block away from the bus stop, so I didn't have to get disgustingly sweaty hauling my bags.  I also got a free upgrade to a 3 bed room, which was amazing since the hostel was only $15/night, making it by far the cheapest hostel I have stayed at in the past 3 months.  That night I met up with my two favorite Swedes to celebrate Emelie's birthday.  Ahh the Swedish girls, I don't think there's a man alive that could resist falling for em.  Kind, clever, beautiful. They're amazing!

Global Palace > Brokedown Palace....

There's been one activity that has eluded me during my backpacking career... skydiving!  I had pre-purchased a skydive in New Zealand, but was thwarted by the weather.  However the way I look at life is, heads you win and tails you try again.  Thus I booked a skydive in Cairns to celebrate the 3 month anniversary of my travels.  As soon as I saw my skydive instructor, Jonas, I knew that I had lucked out because he was clearly insane.  He was way more into getting entertaining footage than the other jumpers and was constantly messing with me.

Most people think you'll be afraid before you skydive, but I only felt excitement.  Once you reach the correct altitude for the jump, which was 14,000 feet, everyone starts jumping out with their instructor.  When the first person jumps out of the plane you are kind of just like, holy crap, that person just jumped out of a plane...then it dawns on you that in about 10 seconds you are going to do the same and you're body starts churning out so much adrenaline that you understand why people take amphetamines.  There is no feeling that even comes close to skydiving, it's absolutely mental.

Sometimes the only way is jumping, I hope you're not afraid of heights!  Because limits, like fears, are often just an illusion...

Oh yeah I'm freeeeeeeee, freeeeeeeee faaaaaalllllllliiiiiin

Gravity and air resistance vs. my face...I think it's clear who the loser is in this photo (awww self ashamed pun)

People call us renegades cus we like livin crazy :)

I look like a 12 year old girl that just got tickets to a Justin Timberlake concert in this photo

I look like Chinese Joseph Gordon Levitt in this photo

Though I'd just fallen back to Earth, I was ready to go again!

That skydive was quite possibly the funnest thing I've ever done, it is definitely up there with the stunt plane.  It's such a different experience than any of the other adventure activities and it lasts for quite a bit of time since you have a 60 second free fall followed by a few minutes of parachuting.  Jonas also let me do a little bit of steering on the parachute ride down, which was pretty cool.  For anyone that hasn't done a skydive, I highly recommend it, you will never feel more alive!  I honestly felt like I could conquer the world afterwards.

I had a lot of other activities to do in Cairns, such as rafting and snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef, but that is a story for another blog...

Random GoPros

 Leaving Townsville

Magnetic Island

Beautiful views along the bay in Cairns

The Marina

Cairns has a really cool Lagoon area, but unfortunately it's closed during the wee hours of the morning :p

Father Time's Up

My father was always somewhat of an enigma, we didn't even call him dad, we just called him Norm. I mean how many people call their parents by their first name?  Even our friends called him Norm, it wasn't "How are you Mr. Lowe", it was just, "What's up Norm?".  Nothing can brace you for the loss of your father, even if you know it's coming...Even if you've known it was coming for 8 years.  Before I left on this trip, I knew that there was a very high likelihood that he wouldn't be there to greet me when I came home; The sinking feeling that when I hugged him goodbye, that time would be the very last.  But this isn't a time for me to be sad, it's a time for me to be happy, because my father was in pain and wanted nothing more than to go peacefully.  And thanks, in large part to my mom, sister, and brother, he was granted that last wish within the comforts of his own home.

Norm was the most unconventional parent imaginable, I'm absolutely sure he didn't raise us by any guidelines that are socially acceptable in any culture.  He used to make us weed the front yard of our house for hours and in return we either got $5 or ice cream; And of course we chose ice cream, which costs like $1, meaning he paid us 30 cents an hour.  His sense of humor was no more mature than ours.  One time all the kids randomly started waking up in the middle of the night and gathering in our living room...so what did we do?  We sat around and made up songs about having diarrhea, "When you're sliding into third and you feel a runny turd, diarrhea! (clap, clap) Diarrhea! (clap, clap)".  There was the time I was arrested for underage drinking and my father's only words to me were, "Not so good, Mr. Sean".  We never had the talk about the birds and the bees, although I did get a few anatomy lessons, very much against my will.

There's probably some sort of number, I think it's clearly supposed to be 0, to describe the amount of times you and your father see each other's penis, but our number was a glorious 4.   In grade school, we used to play king of the mountain on the snow piles and one day a schoolmate fell and his boot landed right on my unit, causing it to become bruised, which freaked me out. As a doctor, Norm elected to check it out and informed me that I didn't have a broken penis, and all would be ok.  Considering this is the man that chopped off his finger and then duct taped it back on, I probably should have gotten a second opinion.  I showed him mine and he showed me his, like the time he got a catheter installed and nonchalantly decided to show me the entire hookup, penis included.  Not once did it cross his mind, maybe my adult son doesn't want to see my penis; To him that was no different than talking about the weather.

His sweet tooth was legend!  I think all children are forced to sell chocolate bars at some point during their childhood, so when you have 8 kids in your family, chances are high there's going to be a box in close proximity.  During a road-trip in our Suburban, Norm was in the mood for some Caramel bars.  It started out with a simple gesture of him reaching his hand over his shoulder, but after 3 or 4, we were like, "Norm, you cannot eat any more of these candy bars".  So what does he do?  He opens the glove box and pulls out a king size Snickers and tells us that if we don't give him another chocolate bar, he's going to eat that instead.  He must have coaxed 4 more caramel bars from us with that tactic before we finally said no, but just to spite us, he ate the damn Snickers as well.

If that wasn't enough, he bought a box of ice cream treats to share with me and Bryn before every Bulls game that was on TV.  These could be ice cream sandwiches, drumsticks, ice cream Snickers, etc.  The three of us ate an entire box every game, and there's 82 games in a season, not counting playoffs.  How I don't have a cavity, I will never know.  He would go on crazy kicks like that, just like how we had to watch every Jackie Chan movie that was ever created or get a Filet-O-Fish sandwich every time he went to McDonalds.

He was a man full of advice... that he never followed. "Always save 10%"; Never once did he save 10%, I'm not sure he even saved 1%.    He was also brilliant.  He could have gone to college when he was 12, spoke several languages, graduated with a medical degree from John Hopkins and a Business degree from Harvard.  He was talented enough to be a professional painter.  He was outrageous.  He bought a YMCA and turned it into our home.  I mean that has to be the most ridiculous decision a man can make, we a had a basketball court and held Prom there.

He was eccentric.  He had a secret room in the house filled with guns and rations in case of a nuclear apocalypse.  He once spilled formaldehyde all over his body and just started driving home, like it was no big deal.  He used to barbecue food over giant oil drums, and when he was almost busted by the cops, he claimed it was a Chinese oven.  The cops not wanting to get in trouble for racism, let him off the hook.  He was generous.  When he got sick and was no longer able to work, he actually paid another pathologist out of his pocket to take over his work at the hospital.  He lost money, because he paid that person more than the hospital was paying him, but to him it didn't matter, because it was the right thing to do.

He was full of pride.   He would never let you win, you always had to earn it.  We used to play basketball when he got home from work and one night he just destroyed me like 80-12, he wouldn't give me anything.  I was so pissed off I didn't go to school for 3 days.  I remember one time we played chess and were both down to two pieces, so I just wanted to call it a draw, but he kept making me play for 30 more minutes, until he finally beat me.  He always fought until the end.  Even when he was given a terminal diagnosis with cancer, he never let it win, he just kept going, continuously outliving the estimates they gave him.

He was a trickster.  He had us convinced that a family of ducks lived in our attic and told me that the town of Cedar Rapids was called See the Rabbits.  I mean, what benefit did he get from making his children dumber?  There was also the time that all my siblings called me Dumpster Dave and told me I was found in a dumpster.  Does he tell them off?  No he joins in and says, "When it came down to you, we threw away the baby and kept the placenta."  He always loved a good laugh, especially when it came at the expense of someone in the family.

There's so many other random things he did, such as his weird tai-chi strength.  Like when he was pointing something out while driving and his finger went through the dashboard or when we were getting rid of our ping pong table and he just grabbed one side and kicked it in half.  I mean, who the hell does that?!?!  There was the time he spilled an entire bucket of paint all over himself and made us wash him off with a hose so our mom wouldn't find out.   And he had the weirdest internal conflict about enjoying to hear from his kids, but simultaneously hating to actually talk with us over the phone.  I remember in college, I had a phone conversation with my dad that lasted over 8 minutes and afterwards I immediately went to talk to Bryn, because that had to be the longest conversation he had ever had over the phone.  99% of the time I talked to him it was a 30 second roundup of, "How are you", "Great", "Hey listen, it's been nice chatting with you, but here's mother".

Though he wasn't the most talkative person, I will always remember the advice he gave me and perhaps more importantly, I will hold close the things that he didn't tell me.  My father never told me that he was disappointed in me, he never told me that I had limitations, he never once doubted that I was capable of doing anything in this world or even this universe.  He didn't tell me I was crazy for quitting my job or that I was throwing away a promising future, he was just happy for me.  Regardless of what decisions I made, he was always happy for me, always proud of me.  How many people like that do you meet in your life?  Surely far too few.

My father's favorite saying was that if you're hungry you should eat, and if you're tired you should sleep, so after a long and extraordinary journey, it's time for him to enjoy the eternal slumber he's been putting off for so long.  Our only hope is that he rests in peace.  I love you and I miss you already, but I will never, ever forget you...Goodbye Mr. Norm.

Airlie Beach and Whitsundays

After all my camping, I was ready to relax and not drink in Rainbow Beach for a few days, but I kept running into people. On the first night after my Fraser group left, I ran into an English guy named Greg that I had shared a dorm room with previously, so I ended up drinking with his tour group. A German girl in his group told me I have the softest hands she’d ever felt, softer than any girl's. Universe 12,347 - Sean 0

The next night, Fleur and Simon, from the previous night's group found me eating alone and told me to come join them, people are too nice :). Thus my commitment to not drinking was sidetracked as I returned to the table with a pitcher of beer, much to their amusement. I also ended up in the same room with an English couple I had stayed with in Noosa. Every night I shared a room with them I was the last person to get back, I can only imagine what they thought of me, I mean other than my feminine skin and undeniable charm...

I also got to see some compassion in my final days there. A girl woke up crying in her bed, because her boyfriend broke up with her via text message, so another girl climbed down from her bed and offered her a hug so she wouldn't feel so alone. I would have offered her a hug as well, but I was laying in my bed, wearing only underpants, so it probably would have been weird. It's not always the grand gesture, sometimes it's just the small things that can turn someone else's day around; A little bit of kindness can be a powerful thing. In order to escape the unspoken hatred of men that had to be brewing in that room, which other than me, contained only women, I forced myself to work out for 3 straight days and get my body into bathing suit shape for my Whitsundays trip!

Airlie Beach

My trip to Airlie Beach was via an overnight bus, so by the time I got there I was disgusting.  When I hopped off the bus, I randomly spotted Alejandro from my Fraser group, so I caught up with him before setting off to find my hostel. I got there at 9 am and was informed I couldn't check in until 12:30, so here I am after a 14 hour night bus, sweaty from lugging my bags across town, looking like pure shit, roaming the city, putting out the vibe.  When I could finally check in, I showered and then ended up grabbing dinner with a couple girls from my room, Brianna (Canada) and Carmel (England) as well as their friend Amanda (Finland). 

After bumming around town for a few days, I bought some booze and ventured towards my boat, the Wings 3.  I've never been on a sailboat, as they aren't very prominent where I live, 13 hours inland from the Ocean, so as soon as I stepped aboard one thing was running through my mind, "Fuck Land, I'm On A Boat Motherfucker"! (Lonely Island reference, drink!)

If i had a boat I would name it Elicious, so it would be referred to as being Boat Elicious

The wings cruise was the best tour I've done in Australia.  It's so amazing to be pampered, all your meals are catered, including snacks, appetizers, and desserts; You don't have to do your dishes; And you can drink underneath the stars.  It was a welcome relief after making all your food/doing your dishes on the previous tours.  The first day we went snorkeling/diving off of Hayman Island and I discovered that snorkeling is my favorite activity ever.  It's so cool to be a stranger drifting through a foreign world, swimming around in a giant aquarium.  Plus the wetsuits you wear are made to be buoyant, so you don't even really have to swim, you can just be super lazy and float there.  After everyone had their fill, we got back on the boat for some biscuits (cookies) before heading to the Nara inlet where we parked our boat for the night.  

Beautiful sunset

It was pretty cool, each night after dinner we could all start drinking and then we watched a slideshow of pictures from the day.  There were 29 of us on the boat, making it really hard to interact with everyone, so we kind of ended up into two drinking groups.  English, Irish, Australian and North American comprising one group and the rest of Europe making up the other.   I spent most of my time with Andrew (Irish), Garett and Lindsay (Canadian), and Stu (Australian).  

The next day we headed to Whitehaven beach on Whitsundays Island, which is the second highest rated beach in the world.  The sand there has a really high concentration of silica, which is what makes the beach so white.  NASA actually uses the sand from Whitehaven beach to create the Hubble telescope lenses.  It was definitely one of the most beautiful beaches I've ever seen and I was able to set up a few time lapses while I lounged lazily in the water.

Whitehaven Beach

Someday I will stare at views like this from my front porch

The Whitsundays are magical

After we hung out on the beach for a few hours we sailed to two more spots, Luncheon Bay and Mantaray Bay.  I lent the divers my GoPro so they could get some cool pictures of the deeper waters, but got it back once they surfaced to get some more snorkel photos/video.  The bays were teeming with life, allowing me to get up close and personal with a giant sea turtle.  

Such bright blue waters

Never in my life would I have imagined I'd swim with a turtle

That night we gathered back around to review pictures, grab dinner, and polish off the last of our alcohol. We also had an appetizer of nachos and let me just say that eating nachos whilst sitting in a jacuzzi on a boat is pretty damn amazing, especially when there's a sunset in the background.  I also had an excess of beer and cider, so I shared with my various boat mates to make sure everyone had an acceptable buzz.  The next morning we rolled out to Blue Pearl Bay for a final snorkel, where I was lucky enough to see more turtles and even a sting ray!  The ray was a little freaky because that is what killed Steve Irwin, so I was a little nervous about how close to get, but you only live once.

Loving the ocean sunsets

Unfortunately Blue Pearl Bay was our last stop, so we had to start making our way back to Airlie Beach, which was pretty sad, but the tour group had a table reserved for everyone at Down Under Bar for later in the evening.  There wasn't a very big turnout, 3 of the French Guys, the 2 Swedish girls Emelie and Anna, Andrew, Stu, myself, and a few of the boat crew members.  I knew I was in for a rough night when I'd already polished off a pitcher of beer before the third person from the group arrived.  After getting some free drinks, which I'm 80% sure didn't actually contain any alcohol, we made our way to a dance club, Phoenix.

You know a club is legit when there's smoke machines pumping fog all over the dance floor at regular intervals.  It was also here that everyone caught me making out with one of the Australian girls that worked on the boat, but as my life coach once told me, everyone has random drunken dance floor makeout sessions....sometimes I worry about her.  After Phoenix we ended up heading back to one of the hostel bars, Magnums.  At 2 or 3, I called it good since my bus left at 9 in the morning, but the Swedish girls kept going even though they were leaving at 7.  Would I survive my hangover on the journey to Magnetic Island...Absolutely not, but that my friends is a story for another blog.  

Random GoPros

Priscilla...This giant fish used to be a female, because there is only allowed to be one male per cluster, but the male died, so as the largest female she literally grew a pair and took over as the male.  Fish are fascinating creatures!

Such a colorful fish!

I saw these fish everywhere

I'm on a boat!

Whitehaven beach, GoPro style

I look increasingly worse in each underwater photo

Point proven

How cool is that?!?!?!

Some corals only grow an inch every 4 years, which is roughly the same rate as my facial hair

An amazing boat!

Some people have asked me to start adding video to my blog, so here you go.  There's no preview, so I don't know how they'll turn out, but hopefully I didn't upload any of the ones of myself dancing and singing Party in the USA...not that there's 14 of those so far or anything....

Hungry Turtle

Fish Frenzy

Snorkel

Fish Feet