Byron Bay and Surfers Paradise

For those of you who have read my South America blogs, you know how much I hate overnight buses, along with the fear and loathing they have instilled in my soul.  Greyhound, however, did not fail me.  The bus was only about ⅓ full, so everyone got a full row to themselves and the seats reclined deep for a comfortable night's sleep.  I got a solid five hours, which is really good for a bus, plus I woke up in time to catch the sunrise.  I also saw my first dead Kangaroo on the side of the road, a sight I’m sure I will grow accustomed to.  To be fair it was alive when I first saw it, but when it smelt the stench wafting from my armpits it's nostrils exploded, and it was probably glad to die than to ever smell that again.

It's not always the special attraction or famous spots that are worth seeing.  Sometimes something as simple as a sunrise can be the most impressive thing you'll see on any given day.

We arrived in Byron at 630 in the morning and I had no idea where my hostel was since I don’t plan ahead, however I got a little lucky as the bus drove past it on the way to the station and it was only about a half mile walk..good way to wake yourself up in the morning.  Nothing was open since it was so early, but I ventured to the hostel, hoping it had 24 hour reception, but alas it did not.  Since it didn't open until 9, I double backed to a spot I’d passed, Mac’s Milkbar & Cafe (Can anyone see the word, “Milkbar”, and not think A Clockwork Orange?). I was starving since I skipped out on dinner the night before; My malnourishment approaching 20 hours.  I got an egg and ham sandwich served on ciabatta with a coffee for $9.  It was incredible, plus they had fast wifi.  Since I needed to be there another hour at least, I also ended up getting a pineapple and coconut smoothie, it was insatiable.  

Upon being able to check into the hostel, I immediately headed for a shower.  The showers were pretty random, sometimes you would get scorching hot water, followed by cold water and other times you got a perfect shower.  It was also the first hostel that required a deposit to get kitchen dishes/utensils, but they provided free pancake breakfasts to make up for the hassle.  Upon eating my lunch I ended up meeting a few girls from Brasil who told me I could stay with them if I go to World Cup next year.  That’s what I’m talking about!  They also invited me out to a bar called Cheeky Monkeys to grab dinner and watch people dance on the tables.  To make things even better a smoke machine started running, stranding everyone in the midst of a mist of misbehavior. (I'm a little alliterate)  

I also finally got to go on some of the activities I had prepurchased in New Zealand.  My first destination was a hippie/stoner town called Nimbin, which is infamous for it’s marijuana cookies.  Apparently they separate the chemical that makes you high from the leaves and then turn it into butter, which then replaces the normal butter you would cook with.  Marijuana is illegal in Australia, but the cops don’t do anything to stop the distribution of weed in this town for some reason.  As the bus rolled up to the main street, everyone’s eyes were drawn to a kid that was running around/clucking like a chicken.  This image was only enhanced as a real chicken ran out from an alleyway and he started chasing it down...while still running like a chicken.   I was keen to have what he was taking.

I love that this little carving is falling apart

This psychic told me that I am the reincarnation of Enrique Iglesias

Everyone enjoys a good pun

Fashionating Fact: Buddha meditated on rainbows

Upon exiting the bus I was offered weed a dozen times in two blocks, but I was on the prowl for some of the legendary cookies.  It was 3 for 20 or 6 for 30 with the instructions that you only need half a cookie if you don’t smoke or a full cookie if you smoke regularly.  Let’s just say I Mary J. Abliged to buy a 3 pack, when I finally found some after eleven long seconds of searching...  I’ve only smoked a handful of times in my life (Congrats parents, you raised me right), so I started with half a cookie, but to be fair a full cookie is needed to get high.  Plus since you are eating it, you have no idea when it’s going to hit you, but eventually gravity surrenders as you get higher and higher and higher.

After chilling in town for a few hours, our bus took us out to a picnic area where we hiked through the woods to a dam while our driver barbecued some burgers and sausages.  I have to say I didn’t expect Australia to be so green, but there are forests and trees everywhere.  After lunch we stopped by a waterfall in the middle of the rain forest before heading back to Byron Bay.

Who knew Australia was so lush, I expected desert

This sign reminded me of all the minions that used to work for me..bwahahahaha

The driest, most pathetic waterfall ever

I was glad to get back as I had a big adventure of kayaking with dolphins the next morning!  I was pretty excited on two fronts as I had yet to kayak, let alone in the ocean, and hadn't seen any dolphins since I got unlucky on my New Zealand adventures.  Of course I arrived in my I Am Awesome t-shirt to the delight of the crew, but opted to go shirtless so I could get a better tan and test out my shirtless dolphin attraction theory.  Was I the only dude there not wearing a shirt...Absolutely I was.

I ended up getting paired up with a Canadian girl because she had never kayaked and you have to have someone that either knows what they’re doing or is in decent shape in the back of the kayak.  One kayak out of thirty tipped as we made our way out into the ocean...and yes, it was ours.  The Canadian girl tipped it and fell out, showing a lack of balance and coordination that rivaled my own, and nearly unraveled the months of work I have spent learning to love and accept Canadians.  Wishing I had eaten another cookie, I got back in the kayak and paddled onward.

I love this photo, with the light tearing through my face like i have one eye and my armpit hair looking magnificent!  This photo encompasses my desire for adventure

Once we got out into the open water, we were lucky to spot a few dolphins jumping out of the water, but that was only the appetizer for what was to come.  Now, I’m not going to say that me being shirtless lured all the ocean dwelling mammals to the surface, but the correlation is 100%.  We spotted roughly seven whales, with some coming within 20-30 meters of the kayaks, the closest a whale has ever come to a kayak in the history of the Universe. The funnest part of the trip, however, was the journey back to the shore, as a giant wave came up behind us and sent us racing towards the beach.  

Look at the crappy camera they used to take our photos...they need a gopro.  Can you spot me? :p

After a few more days of relaxation in Byron Bay I started to make my way up to a little place called Surfers Paradise.  As I got onto the bus, I noticed the guy in front of me looked like he was having the shaky shakes of heroin withdrawal.  The only time he wasn't curled up in a ball or puking in a plastic bag was when the bus stopped and he went outside to smoke.  I took this as a sign from the universe that I should not do any more drugs on my trip... unless they’re really cheap or I’m drunk or it’s after 8 AM.

My hostel was across the street from this!

Paradise indeed!

I was expecting Surfers to be another small town like Byron, but it was more similar to a suburb in the states with a few skyscrapers and a million shopping centers.  It also marked my reunion with Mikkel, who is going to school out there.  We met up for some burgers with his friend Morten at Surfers Sand Bar before hitting up a bar called Melbas that had $2.50 Coronas, until they became $7.50 two drinks later.  There was also a costume party going on there.  Number of bellybuttons seen: 87.  Number that didn’t belong to hairy dudes: 12.  Odds of staying there: 0.  

We also met up with some of his lady friends (good work Mikkel) at an Irish pub.  At some point in the night we also all hopped into a taxi van that took us to a dance club, where I learned the Danes do all sorts of dirty dancing bullshit that I can’t do.  But sober or drunk, I am excellent at making an ass of myself.   Eventually I realized it was 3:15 AM, I was quite pissed, and I had no idea where we were.  Ergo I said my goodbyes and went outside to find a bunch of people standing around.  A couple guys told me Surfers Paradise was a few miles toward the visible skyscrapers...and that I should definitely take a cab.  But here’s the deal, I can’t afford a $30 cab ride, so I drunkenly stumbled back to my hostel.  I also didn't allow myself to purchase McDonalds along the way, because that would have been $5-$8, and I’m not made of money.  Thus I arrived back at my hostel at 4:15.  How exactly it took me an hour to walk 2.5 to 3 miles I will never know, but I arrived alive.

Mikkel photo bomb

Someday my arm will be full of stamps

During my remaining days in Paradise, I met up with Mikkel one last time, worked on my tan, pretended to utilize the outdoor workout stations along the beach, and did some clothes shopping.  I found a Cotton On, which is basically like H&M.  Thus I got a slew of $5 t-shirts, so I didn’t have to do laundry for another week.  I have yet to do laundry in Australia and I only have 4 pairs of underwear...you do the math.  In my defense they are a special kind of travel underwear that you can wash in the sink and I go commando a lot.  

Iowhat up!

I accidentally took this when going to turn off my time lapse...but it's a pretty cool photo, especially with my right arm being 99% more tan than the rest of my body.

My next stop was Brisbane, which I was pretty excited about since it would be another big city to explore.  It also houses one of the Irish girls from my Stray trip, Christina.  But that my friends is a story for another blog.

Random GoPros

Nimbin Chalk Art

A Dam Good Photo

FOOOOOOOOD

Kayak Attack

When it comes to the seaman challenge of being bait for large sea mammals, I am the master.  I suppose you could say I am the master bait of seamen

Not bad weather for October...

Running along the beach at sunset

Who wouldn't want a pink stretch hummer?

I Am Ausome

My flight to Sydney was once again on Air New Zealand, so I was treated to some movie options... Obviously I selected Fast and Furious 6.  I also had the pleasure of sitting next to the most annoying little Asian kid in the world who kept yelling questions to the various flight attendants.  He literally asked them if he could use the restroom 8 times in a 5 minute period and I literally thought about killing myself each of the 8 times he spake.

As I got into the airport I managed to utilize some sort of speed line where you electronically scan your passport and ended up getting through security without a passport stamp.  I’m not sure my entry was exactly street legal, but I was already past the gates, so I just went with it.  Hopefully I get stamped on the way out, as I like to have them as a memento.  My next task was to get into town somehow.  I was debating taking the train, but then I read online you could get a shuttle for $12.  I did end up getting on a shuttle to Central Station, but I didn't actually pay to get on, so I may have had a questionable first hour in Oz from a legality standpoint.

These needle trash cans are in tons of public bathrooms...they're perfect for disposing my hep infused heroin needles

Once I got into town, I meandered to my destination, Nomads Westend.  Upon checking in, I was informed that the elevator didn’t work and that my room was on the 6th floor.  My bags, weighing a combined 50 lbs (25 kgs), are basically like nothing to me because I’m so fucking strong, so it wasn’t an issue.  After wringing the sweat from my shirt, I wandered through town with my mustache on full display, setting the vibe, and familiarizing myself with the city.

On day two I realized the mustache was both creepy and repulsive, so I drew the sink full of hot water and went to work. Despite the magnitude and sheer volume of hair that grows on my face, I was able to remove it all with three swift swipes of my razor.  Deflated, I roamed to the Peterpans store to set up my greyhound schedule and lock in some dates for various activities I had pre-purchased.

Hyde Park

Kind of a weird statue, I don't really want to understand it

Fountain

Eventually, I found my way to the Syndey Opera House and Harbour Bridge. I decided to hang around until it turned dark to get some nighttime shots, which was well worth the wait. It’s the first time on my travels I have felt like I was in a proper big city.   When I finally arrived back to the hostel I tried to make dinner, but the kitchen had 6 burners, one toaster, and 13 floors of people...Suffice it to say, there was not room to cook.  Nothing like the $5 six inch subway and bottle of water combo to fuel your adventures.

Early evening skyline...

The Harbour Bridge

The city looks amazing at night

The famous Sydney Opera House

I spent the next day wandering around The Domain, which is a huge public park housing Royal Rose Gardens, the New South Wales museum, a pond, various lookout spots, and pathways over to the Opera House/Circular Quay. I took advantage of the views by creating a few more time lapses. The Domain is insanely large, you could spend an entire day walking through it. It also displayed that Sydney houses a pretty active/healthy lifestyle as there were literally hundreds of people running through the park. However, my lazy ass was not one of them ;).

Someday I'm going to get a good bird in flight shot, slowly getting better

Pond in The Domain

I also ended up taking a ferry up to Manly beach upon the advice of Claire.  Look at Facebook pulling through by allowing me to get some solid advice from the people I’ve met on my adventures!  The ferry is less than $15 round trip and you get awesome views along the water. The way Manly is set up reminded me of California, with the ultra cheap shops, $10 sunglasses, and beaches full of people swimming, surfing, and playing volleyball.  There was also a great walk around some cove areas, where you could climb down on the rocks that jut out of the water.  

View from the ferry

Surfers wiping out

Insanely clear waters

First lizard I spotted in Australia, tiny little guy

Australia rocks!

For my final full day I ended up going to Bondi Beach, which is probably the most well known beach surrounding Sydney.  In my attempt to get a tan, I laid out for 2.5 hours with no sunscreen, but my body rejects sunlight like Jennifer Aniston’s body rejects aging.  I have no muscular definition left, I’m pastier than the Pillsbury Dough Boy, and my face is more acne than actual face.  I’m falling apart!

While walking from Bondi Beach towards Coogee, I decided to stop and make a time lapse along the rocks.  Whilst making my lapse, something amazing happened.  Something that I’ve blogged about before, something that happened to me on a lake between Peru and Bolivia.  As I worked on replacing the battery of my GoPro, I sensed something.  My head snapped up, my neck crooning whilst the seagulls were cawing.  I knew what had happened, and as I looked down to the rocks below, my convictions held true.  I saw the calm ocean breeze was now carressing an exposed breast.  Yes that’s right, a young girl, hopefully of consentual legal age, was now sunbathing topless. I will forever refer to this moment as the Bondi Beach Boobies Bonanza.  

People lay out on the grass and the beach

My calves look terrific

There's so many cliffs that the beaches are segmented all over

So random there is a swimming pool right next to the ocean

The color distortion is pretty cool

As several of you know, despite my best efforts...alright I’m really lazy, so instead of efforts lets just go with hopes...I have hopes of looking cool.  So here I am on this bus coming back from the beach when this little annoying shit comes up and starts swinging from the handle grips next to my seat, while his father pretends to be unrelated and ignores his child's misbehavior.  This kid was all up in my bubble acting like a douche, so I stood up and moved away so I wouldn't have to deal with him.  As I moved to an open standing area, I started scrolling through my iPod for which Spice Girls classic to play next, and BAM, the bus starts moving.  With deformed cankles and terrible balance, there's no coming out of this scenario without making an ass of myself. As the bus lurched forward, inertia caused me to fall backwards and I had no choice but to flail my arms out in spastic fashion in hopes of finding something to grip.  With miniscule luck and absolutely no grace, I managed to latch onto a pole before crashing to the ground on the packed double bus.  Meanwhile the little shit that caused me to get up from my seat in the first place starts laughing, so entertained by my misfortune.  I’m also pretty sure the universe hands out no negative karma towards those that wrong me, it probably rewards them.  Universe infinity, Sean 0.

I own this place, if only the sign didn't have a typo and said since 1988...

Occasionally I will look at my life on the road and start to reflect on how I’m living and whether or not I’m learning anything.  Wheras my previous life was filled with boredome, my new life is filled with poordome.  It’s very humbling to look back on the things I took for granted as conveniences:  Clean showers, cooking a huge dinner, storing leftovers, driving a car, having privacy, watching American football with your friends and family, free unlimited wifi, being able to buy/store whatever i wanted.   I now realize those things were spoils, the gifts of a privileged life.

Now I eat baked beans on toast, tuna, spaghetti, 2 minute noodles, peanut butter sandwiches, and the cheapest fruits/vegetables the grocery has to offer.  I watch cockroaches climb the shower walls of my hostel, stare down at sheets that are supposed to be washed, but are dirty as fuck.  I contemplate how 8 people are supposed to share the single power outlet in the room.  I feel the snot from a woman’s sneeze splatter and slide down my leg even though she’s two rows back on the public bus I ride. I  watch the girl cooking next to me pick up a piece of toast off the unwashed floor and go through an internal struggle, before ultimately deciding that yes, she can dust it off and eat it.  It's a challenging way of life, but it's also a lot of fun.

Just a friendly roach crawling the walls of the bathroom...he tasted delicious

Backpacking is it’s own culture, one that transgresses ethnicity and creed, by bringing people of all ages, means, and ambitions together.  No one really cares where you are from or what you believe, just who you are as a person.  People don’t just stay in hostels because it’s cheap, they do it to meet people, to learn more about the world around them, to understand others opinions.  You learn so many new words and phrases that are unique to each group of people, while seeing the commonalities of humor, struggles, desires, wishes, weirdness, and kindness that are universal.  Life is always interesting, you never know what each day is going to hold, who you will meet, or what risks lie ahead... But at the end of the day, you can either take a risk or you can live in doubt...and as I mentioned previously, I left all my doubts on an airplane.

For my next set of adventures I took a 13 hour overnight bus to Byron Bay.  Would the bus ride be as terrible as those in South America?  Would my disdain for life increase with each passing mile?  That my friends, is a story for another blog...

Opera House/Harbour Bridge Overflow

Just before the sunset

View from The Domain

Close up of people roaming the Opera House

Pretty cool architecture

The Harbour Bridge connects Sydney's two halves

Random Go pros

Watching the buildings play touch the sky

Mirrors in Hyde Park

Skyscraper central

Bikers....

The Opera House

The Domain

Manly Beach

The world does indeed appear  to be round...

Underwater!

If people want to send me money so I can afford food so my ribs aren't showing...well that'd be peachy

Shadow Sean

Bondi!

Bondi Walkway