One of my travel goals is to hit all 7 continents, so I'd been hoping to get to Africa whilst living on this side of the world. It was continent #6 on my list and I've always dreamed of going on a safari, so I was pumped when Sarah told me she'd booked tickets! Mostly because I whined to her about how my brother Josh was getting to go to Africa and check off 6 before me. See kids, if you whine enough, you will get your way. She planned the trip for Victoria Falls, since it borders Zambia and Zimbabwe and is only an hour or so from Botswana as well. I wasn't going to complain, so off we went!
You know how sometimes you go to the airport and see a bunch of little kids running around and think, "Dear God, please don't make me sit next to them". Oh yeah baby, right next to them. 3 kids under 5, one crying the entire time, the parents letting them run wild since they apparently lost control and the desire to care years ago. I think the lesson Sarah and I learned was that the best form of birth control is an intercontinental flight. After a brief layover in Johannesburg, we flew into Zambia and then spent the next 60 minutes trying to get through the Visa line. I have no idea how it took so long, we were literally the only flight arriving into the airport at that time. Apparently no one realized you needed to purchase a Visa upon arrival, because why would you need visas in Africa? People kill me.... Luckily I was prepared and had cash, so when we finally got to the front of the line, we got our visas within one minute.
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| After spending a full day traveling, it was nice to grab a brew and soak up the views |
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| This was the view just past the "Beware of Crocodiles" signs. At first we thought they were a joke... I don't think they were |
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| All animals have the capacity to love :) |
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| This is like my childhood. Battling with my evil brothers... And getting my ass kicked. And then being told it was probably my fault for provoking it. You're right mom, I probably asked Bryn to steal my money and give me wedgies. What a bunch of Lowe lives. |
We spent the first night at a campsite/hotel along the Zambezi river, which feeds into Victoria Falls. Some people can afford the hotel, but let's be honest, we are tent people. If we are going to Africa, we're gonna sleep with monkeys fighting outside our tent. We were pretty exhausted from the full day of travel, so we just grabbed a beer along the river and took a little pre dinner nap. Since our trip was only a week long, we actually only spent one night in Zambia before taking a shuttle to Botswana!
Botswana is home to Chobe National Park, which ended up being one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. Several companies run safaris there ranging from a half day to over a week. We went for the 2 day 2 night option, as Sarah read online that it gives you a better chance at seeing lions and leopards. Day 1 started with crossing the boarder, which was surprisingly easy, followed by a light breakfast and a cruise along the swamp-like Chobe River. I didn't really know what to expect on the cruise portion, as I figured we would be pretty far from the animals, but they literally pull the boats up within 2-3 meters of crocodiles. You see hippos playing peekaboo, elephants crossing the river, Eagles soaring above the trees... It was insane. It was amazing. It was unlike anything you could ever dream.
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| They call me the hip-hop-apatamus, my lyrics are bottomless.... |
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| Probably the scariest animal in the world. |
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| You are pretty much guaranteed to see a million antelope if you do a safari, I have no idea how so many of them survive. |
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| I'm not sure why my blog messed up the next few photos and made them super elongated...but whatevs, the still look cool. |
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| This guy gets all the birds.... |
Our boat cruise was followed by a massive, all you can eat buffet. What more can a man want on vacation? After lunch, we were split off into groups based on the type of safari we were doing, and ended up going on adventure with some French Canadians and an English woman, Kerry (whom we have already been able to meet up with in London as well!!). The safari vehicle of choice was a Toyota Land Cruiser, similar to what Josh and I were in when we cruised around the Salar de Uyuni in Bolivia. We were surprised that the vehicle wasn't outfitted with metal cages or anything else to prevent animals from getting in. They're all just completely open. Apparently the animals see the vehicle as a whole, rather than being a large metal lunch box full of small, person sized morsels. Ergo, you are generally pretty safe, even in an open top vehicle.
I went into the trip without having look at any photos of Chobe National Park, so I really had no idea what the landscape would be like.... It was incredible. It's absolutely amazing how fast the land can go from being lush and green near the river to desert like, within a few kilometers. Our driver, Jensen, was awesome. You could tell how much he loved his job and actually cared about the preservation of the nature reserve and all of the animals within it. He would even stop the truck and pick up litter that other tourists left lying around. The goal of the group was to find some big cats, but unfortunately they were all taking cat naps on day one. We did however, see just about everything else, including one of the best sunsets I have ever been lucky enough to witness.
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| Going on a safari and seeing the incredible landscapes and wildlife of Botswana will always be one of the highlights of my life (right after looking in the mirror). I still can't believe I was able to go there, I'm too lucky. |
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| This poor guy looked completely defeated. You can see all the scratches on his back where he must have lost a fight against another hippo. It really is kill or be killed. |
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| Do you know how the giraffe was created? Chuck Norris went back in time and upper cut a horse. True Story. |
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| Part of me wishes I was a vegetarian and part of me thinks they would be delicious. |
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| I see the grass beneath me, I smell the wind and sky and think to myself... Don't pass me by. |
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A tree full of vultures. Without a little bit of ugly, you wouldn't appreciate the beauty.
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| Fun Fact: All zebras have a unique patter, just like a human has unique fingerprints. |
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| The sunsets were absolutely amazing. You go for the animals, but the undisturbed beauty of nature will leave you breathless. |
Due to the time of the year we visited, it started to get dark around 6:30, so we had to be back at our campground by then. I thought our campsite would be fenced off or have some general form of protection from the wildlife, but it didn't. We just stopped in a clearing in the middle of the forest, where there was a fire and five tents set up. I'm not entirely sure how safe that set up is, especially after Jensen told us he's had lions come into the camp before, but that's just safari life I guess. The guys that set up the camp site also made us dinner, which was incredibly good for being cooked over a fire. You can definitely tell they cater to the Western diet, as the food was pretty similar to what you'd get in England or America. They even had had Nandos sauce! And of course no evening is complete without some boxed wine.
The only downside of the boxed wine is that it makes a man pee. As usual, I ignored Sarah's warnings telling me that I was going to have to wake up in the middle of the night to pee. I told her I'm a man, and a man does what he wants, and she can't tell a man how to live his life. A man isn't going to let a little thing like a hyena or a leopard prevent him from peeing in the wilderness.
Turns out a man should listen. I awoke in the night and thought my bladder was going to burst. Jensen gave us specific instructions to flashlight up and ensure nothing gleamed in the night.... But you hear noises, and noises are terrifying. And a man needs both hands to whip things out and hold them, so i had to put my phone in my mouth and swivel my head around in fear. I swear to you, this was the longest pee of my life, I was so scared I thought a little poo might come out as well. So does a man learn his lesson on night two... Of course not, a man pees in the night again! I'm a man and the world is my urinal.
But alas, on to day two!
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| One of my favorite shots from all of my travels. Such a beautiful place. |
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| Such a beautiful resting spot |
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| Wild, my breath of wonder. Time, rolling like thunder. Brace, for the explosion. Wild, blissfully open.... |
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| What you looking at?!?!? |
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| Bambi! |
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| Elephants cry, and they gather round their fallen ones. They don't know why. Neither do I... Neither do I.... |
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| I still can't believe we went on a safari... Or that I've seen even half of what I have. Not bad for a kid from small town Iowa. |
Day two started off with a 5 AM wake up call, so we could make the most of the daylight. Our morning drive went past a massive herd of buffalo that were migrating across the plains and some grumpy elephants that didn't seem to be pleased about waking up so early! We found a few leopard tracks, but unfortunately we weren't able to track one down before having to drop off the French Canadians to be taken back to town, as they elected to do the single night option. Sarah, Kerry, and I continued on until lunchtime, where we went back to camp to eat and have a siesta. It's such a hard life, being on vacation.
After everyone was well rested, we went back out on another game drive so we could drop Kerry off and pick up some new recruits. At the drop off spot, the other driver told us she had just passed a group of five lions! So finally, after 2 days of waiting, we were able to go see them! I don't even know how to describe the feeling. It's just crazy. When you see a lion on TV it feels so so distant, so far away. And then to actually see one in person... Life has been too good to me.
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| No safari is complete without seeing the King. It took us the better part of two days, but we finally found some lions! |
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| This giraffe is just like... F M L, there are a million animals here and you are gonna chase me?!?! |
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| So a single lion can't even take down a giraffe... She is literally just having fun by torturing others. Typical woman. |
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| Luckily this guy ignored Sarah's chants of "Here kitty, kitty". |
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| What's interesting is that it is actually the female lions that run the tribe. The men are just her minions. Feels a lot like my life.... |
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| If you look closely, you can see that this guy caught a fish |
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| Troops of monkeys are so territorial they will actually kill a leopard if it comes too close to their tree. |
After leaving the lions, we continued our safari and eventually crossed paths with another driver who had spotted a leopard a few miles away. Leopards are pretty rare and travel in solitude, so finding them on a safari is not guaranteed. At that point the sun was already setting, so in order to find her, we were literally racing against sunbeams. The other guide told Jensen that she was sitting on some termite hills a few hundred meters from the river, but we couldn't find her. Alas, it appeared she had left before we got there.
Thus, we started driving back towards camp, catching a final glimpse of the sun before it went down, when out of nowhere, we saw her!!!! She'd decided to go down and prowl along the river. That safari was a lot like life, we had such high expectations to see all of these animals, so when they didn't make an appearance we started to lose hope, but then somehow it all just kind of works out. We saw everything we set our sights on seeing and more, it just didn't all happen right away.
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| Come Around Sundown |
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| Seeing all of the animals' silhouettes against the horizon...F-ing amazing. |
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| The rare and elusive leopard. You have to be extremely fortunate to spot one, so it was a good thing I was wearing my lucky thong. |
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| To be fair, it is a leopard print thong. So it was fitting, very tight fitting indeed. |
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| Our final sunrise |
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| I told Sarah on our last morning that the only thing left on my list that I was hoping/expecting to see but hadn't were wild african hunting dogs. She informed me that we wouldn't see them as they hunted deeper into the forest, since he's an expert on Botswanian wildlife. We saw them 15 minutes later. |
We saw a lot of amazing animals, but my favorite, as always, was my cougar (3 months older - still makes her a cougar, don't let her tell you otherwise). The company we used, Kalahari tours, did an amazing job throughout. From organizing the transfers to pick us up in Zambia and then ship us over to Zimbabwe after the tour, to the food, to the guide. Everything was super organized and everyone was very friendly. It was absolutely awesome, they smashed it.
Our journey continued in Victoria Falls and nearly ended in carnage whilst rafting along the Zambezi River, but that's a story for another blog....
Animal Photo Shoot
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| His jaw dropped because he saw me shirtless. My blog is 100% factual, so you know it's true. |
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| Scrath my ass, watch yourself! Scratch my ass, show me what you're working with! |
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| Sometimes a croc just needs a little massage. Now that's what I call symbiosis |
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| He's yawning because he's so sleepy. Apparently 18 hours of sleep per day is not enough. |
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| They're so cute, that's how they get you. They make you think they are sweet and innocent, then they rip you in half and eat you for dinner. |
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| "Hey, are you still watching me?" |
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| It's a paradise....And it's a war zone |
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| Nobody but you, nobody but me, nobody but us, bodies together. I love to hold you close, forever and always. I love to wake up next to you... |
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| I said baby, it's you and only you and no one else. And I mean it, even when I'm talking to myself. |
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| Look at this little zebra kissing another one on the cheek. How can you not love nature? |
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| Chillin like a villain! We saw more varieties of birds than any other creature, their diversity is incredible. |
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| The birds are staring each other down and this dude is just like...I'm too tired to even care anymore. People complain about flies and mosquitoes...I have f-ing birds living on me. |
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| The infamous crocodile smile! |
Random GoPros
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| Not a bad view for $30/night. |
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| The GoPro didn't do so well on the safari.... You really need the DSLR with a proper lens to capture the wildlife. |
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| Our guide, Jensen, showing us the migratory path of the herd. |
Sarah and Sean's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps
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| Let's unwind, don't worry your mind, there's a paradise waiting for us in summertime. And when you look in my eyes, you'll see the pleasure is mine, cus when I'm making you smile, it's the perfect delight. Oh there's a paradise waiting for us in summertime |
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| I keep a close watch on this heart of mine, I keep my eyes wide open all the time. Yes I'll admit that I'm a fool for you. Because you're mine, I walk the line. |
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| As sure is night is dark and day is light, I keep you on my mind both day and night. And happiness, I've known proves that it's right. Because you're mine, I walk the line. |
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| Yeah, I'm sure your parents probably said it to you, but follow what you love and you will love what you do... |
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| One of us still has amazing hair in the face of gale force winds. #FabioWishes |
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| Did I deserve to be karate chopped in the face? .... .... Probably at least twice at that point. I mean, it was like 11 AM. And yeah, we have matching safari outfits. Deal with it!!!!! |
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| If you look closely, you can see the massive elephant penis dangling down. It was literally bigger than my body. |
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| It took Tom Hanks four years to go crazy whilst on a deserted island. I was born this way. |
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| I don't care what you keep doing, just keep on doing it with me :) |
