The Last Hurrah!

I was just a man, well a very handsome man if we are going to be appropriately descriptive, walking through London's Heathrow Airport.  I showed my passport to the immigrations officer and England welcomed me with open arms once more.  Sarah slid her passport across the table after me.  "Miss, have you ever worked here before?"  As expected, our company's UK branch didn't file the appropriate paperwork stating Sarah had left the country, so we started off our Euro-trip with a detainment!!!  For once I wasn't the screw up.  Elation filled me.  After thirty minutes of sitting in a comfortable chair and being treated with the utmost kindness, we were allowed to enter!  You can't beat British politeness.

*Disclaimer.  A sudden urge to use the bathroom has just hit me, but my baby (who was not yet born at the time this blog takes place) is sleeping on me.  This is the type of stuff that no one teaches you in the baby classes.  Do I hold it in, do I risk waking her, or do I just poop my pants?  With clenched cheeks, I decide to hold tight*

Upon getting to the city centre, we headed to a pub to meet our friends, reminisced about old times and got everyone's big updates.  We told everyone Sarah was expecting, as was Abs' wife!  Bee and Paolo's love for me is still unwavering and they got us way too many baby gifts!!! Ram wears baseball caps now, Man is as handsome as ever, Fincher is even more so.  Leon got married, Pete was on holiday in Croatia.  Tobin is still super creepy.  Sunny bought us clothes for a baby boy instead of girl and Neal can still outdrink me, but probably not Daly or Corinne. 

Sarah thought we were only there to reminisce with friends for a few days, but I also had a secret agenda!  When we missed our flight to Honduras and got stranded in Mexico, I decided I was going to propose whilst we were on our way to the Pyramids of the Sun and the Moon.  Thus, upon arrival, I snuck off and purchased a ring for a few pesos.  I then hid that ring in my bag for nearly a year, knowing I'd propose in London, since Sarah had previously had a dream that's where I would do it.  What kind of man would I be if I didn't do everything in my power to make her dreams come true?

She said yes to my 40 cent engagement ring!!!

Finally made it to Shakespeare's Globe!  It is the only thatched roof building in London and is a replica of the largest playhouse that existed before the Great Fire of London occurred in 1666, which destroyed a third of the city.

The majority of people I know have traditional diamond rings, but that's just not our style.  I don't believe love is measured in terms of dollars spent, I think it's shown by how you spend your time.  Do you make an effort to put away your phone and share in moments with people, do you turn off Netflix to go grab a beer and make new memories with a friend, do you invest your time into having fun vs. making a ton of money?  Happiness isn't a given, it's something we all have to work at.  But enough of my ideologies!

After spending a few days with our friends, we embarked on another Ryan Air flight, which was just as cheap and terrible as we remembered.  Our destination: Bucharest, Romania.  The guy sitting next to us on the flight: Mentally deranged.  Now, I'm not entirely sure what the screening process for sitting in the emergency exit row is, but I don't think it involves trying to find ways to open the window or remove the tray from the seat-back in front of you.  Meanwhile the rest of the passengers were walking around the plane like it was a hiking trail.  We arrived at the airport late at night to find that you had to order a taxi from a kiosk...that was in Romanian.  Luckily my ability to creep on the people surrounding me is well honed and I was able to procure us a taxi.

We hung out in Bucharest for a day before going on a tour to check out some Transylvanian castles, including Bran Castle, which is touted to be the home of Dracula.  Though he only stayed there one night in his entire life, so not sure that qualifies as being his home.  However, I'm sure it draws a pretty penny for the people of Romania, so let's just gloss over that fun fact.

Peles Castle

This is the exact pose I struck when I was a nude model

This is what they said they'd do to me if I kept making that pose.

Why doesn't Dracula have any friends?  Because he's a pain in the neck...

After being thoroughly unimpressed by Romania, we decided to take a van into Bulgaria to see if Eastern Europe had more to offer.  We ended up going to the small town of Veliko Tarnovo, which has a giant fortress sitting atop a hill.  It was definitely a significant upgrade from Romania, as the people were friendlier, the landscape was prettier, and the food was delicious.  It was a tourist town, but it was definitely worth a night's stay if traveling between Bucharest and Sofia.

*Disclaimer.  I SHOULDN'T HAVE HELD IT IN!!!*

We only stayed there for a day and a half before making our way to Bulgaria's capital, Sofia, via bus.  The owner of the boutique hotel we were staying at told us we picked the worst bus company to travel across Bulgaria, as they were incredibly dangerous and frequently broke down.  But what's life without a little adventure when you're traveling with your pregnant fiance.  Besides, this baby needed to learn the ways of a vagabond whilst in utero.

I wanna make you happy. I wanna make you feel alive.  Let me make you happy, I wanna make you feel alive tonight!

What would you say to you younger self?  That growing a beard's quite hard and whiskey never starts to taste nice...

In some countries coming to a place like this would be $40 instead of $3.  Where you're born is some strange piece of luck, no?

Up on a hill, is where we begin.  This little story, a long time ago. Stop to pretend.  Stop pretending.  It seems this game is simply never ending...

Upon arriving in Sofia, we met up with my brother Josh and went out for dinner in a relatively nice restaurant, which in Bulgaria only costs 5 euros.  You can literally get a steak dinner for eight dollars.   Sofia is surrounded by mountains and woodlands, so the next day we decided to take public transport out to a trailhead.  And by the start of a trailhead, I mean we scrambled up a hill outside of the tram station and then followed a group of people to the actual trail head, which was a few hundred meters away.

We also took advantage of Josh's hostel situation to get some laundry done.  Since we had so many connecting flights, we decided to just bring European sized carry ons with us, so after four days of wearing underwear and socks that I'd washed in a hotel sink, we were excited to get all of our laundry cleaned for $5.

We also had grand plans to spend a day in Plovdiv, but after a trip to the bus station and speaking with four vendors who hated anyone that wasn't Bulgarian, and probably even those that were, we were told that no buses were headed to Plovdiv even though all of our research indicated that buses were supposed to leave hourly.  Three days later Josh learned that the bus companies didn't renew their permits in time and weren't allowed to run that day.  Westerners have no idea how good they have it!  Imagine living somewhere where public transit was that unreliable.

I took a little journey into the unknown, and I came back changed, I can feel it in my bones.

Can you turn slugs into Escargot?  Cus this thing is gigantic.

After spending a week in Eastern Europe, we took a much needed journey back to Western Europe via Barcelona.  I'd already been, but Sarah had never made it to mainland Spain whilst living in Europe.  Hotels in Barcelona are incredibly expensive, so we instead booked a private room at a hostel, because I'm a cheap bastard.  Besides, pregnant Sarah needed to experience a life of intrigue and pass down my love of hostels to the baby.

After averaging over seven miles a day on foot with a second trimester Sarah, we elected to get passes for the tourist bus in Barcelona.   Our main reason for going there was to see La Sagrada Familia, which in my opinion is the most incredible religious building in the world.  The outside is gothic and daunting, as if manifested from Voldemort's dreams.  But once you enter, light spills in from every direction in a flood of colors from the hundreds, maybe thousands of stained glass windows that cover the interior walls. The same windows that somehow aren't noticeable from the outside.  The entire structure is held up by pillars that sprawl out like tree limbs, a completely new type of architecture created by Antoni Gaudi, La Sagrada's principal architect.   By the time this church is completed, if it does indeed finish, it will be more than 150 years after it's start.  I could go on for days about how amazing this place is, but I'll let the pictures do the talking.

Considering they've spent 8 years repairing 4 miles of interstate where I live...Building all of this in under 150 years seems pretty incredible.

Some churches are capable of drawing a crowd of atheists.

The columns are structured like trees, because Gaudi realized that millions of years of evolution has engineered things greater than our minds can.

My favorite set of sculptures on the outside of the building.  Pretty sure they featured on my first Barcelona blog post, but I'm way too lazy to look back.

Since we had two days on the tourist bus, we decided to see as many sights as we could. Thus, in addition to the church, we also went to Gaudi park, which houses some of his other eccentric creations.  Sarah also has an irrational love of aquariums, so we made sure to see how Barcelona's stacked up... It was average, but the horizontal escalators that wind you underneath some of the exibits were pretty sweet.   We also found our way to the Olympic park where the track and field events were held for the 1992 Olympics and ascended the cable cars to Montjuic Castle to get the skyline view of the city and the surrounding sea.

What a sad looking fish with his pout pout face!  Trying to spread his dreary wearies all over the place!

Ever since I left the city you, you got a reputation for yourself now.  Everybody knows I'm feeling left out.  Girl you got me down, you got me stressed out.  Cus ever since I left the city you started wearing less and going out more.  Glasses of champagne out on the dance floor, hanging with some girls I never seen before...

In keeping in line with my cheapness and total disregard for Sarah's comfort, I subjected us to a 5 AM flight out of Barcelona to Reykjavik.   Upon arriving in Iceland, I figured I'd take some cash out of the ATM.  I thought I was selecting the $100 withdrawal option since it was the second highest on the ATM followed by what I thought was the $200 option.  But it turned out that I withdrew $978!!  I mean, how is that even possible, what ATM allows you to withdraw that much cash?  I didn't even know my bank account contained that much money.

And since I was unaware of how much money I withdrew, I used my card to purchase our bus tickets into town, which was another $100.  You'd think I'd be better at traveling considering this was my 44th country visited, but what fun would this blog be if I wasn't an idiot?  Once we got into town, we were only a mile away from our Airbnb, so we walked over.  We were supposed to be greeted by the host and given a key to our room and towels and things like that, but instead we were locked out.  We were eventually let in by the cleaning crew a few hours later when we circled back and found our room was empty with the key on the table.  After dropping our stuff and taking a few moments to relax, we heard uncontrollable sobbing from the floor below us.  We are pretty sure that the girl crying was our host, as she didn't respond to any of our messages or check in on us the entire time we stayed there.   But what's life without awkward situations.

It's my life and I can't believe it.  Is this the life I lead?  All these surreal things and sudden decisions, I just want to waste my time with you...

I still remember when the biggest craters I'd seen were the ones on my face.

It's such an expensive country to visit, but it's worth it

Iceland is known for geothermal energy, hot springs, raging waterfalls, the northern lights, puffins, and being unnecessarily expensive.  A one hour puffin tour was $100, Sarah wasn't allowed to enter hot springs, and northern light tours were $300 each, with only a 5% chance of seeing them.   Thus we embarked on a tour of the golden circle instead.  It's the most popular and affordable option in Reykjavik, which means it's also the busiest. 

Luckily, our guide was funny and kept the long bus rides between attractions entertaining.  We also got coffee and a cinnamon roll from a rest stop that was quite possibly the best pastry I've ever eaten.  Usually when I write about people salivating over buns, it's as a caption beneath a photo of me naked in the wild.  I don't know if they put MSG or crack into the food in Iceland, but everything was delicious.  During the tour we also learned of Iceland's goal to leverage their natural geothermal energy to provide 100% of the energy they consume.

Ironically the most smoking-hot thing about this photo... The photographer.

It was definitely nice to get back to nature after visiting so many cities

This piece of land is where the Eurasian and North American tectonic plates meet

We spent the next few days bumming around Iceland and hiking out to a Lighthouse a few miles outside the city center.  We also got tickets to see an orchestra, which was somehow only $25.  How is a bowl of soup $20 and a night at the orchestra $25?  I really want to meet the people that set prices for things, because I'm pretty sure there's a huge market for financial analytics there.  Although considering Iceland was going bankrupt ten years ago and is now sitting pretty from the tourism boom, maybe their crazy prices are ingenious.

Iceland also had the best souvenirs of any country we have visited.  I'm not sure if it's because I withdrew $1000 from the ATM, the impending pregnancy, or the fact it was the last country on our visit, but we bought more items in Iceland than all the other countries combined.  I bought our future daughter a book about Icelandic trolls, an arctic fox, and a puffin hand puppet.  We even dropped a hundred dollars on matching puffin sweatshirts.... I was out of control.

I'm sailing through the seas, to an island where we'll meet.  You'll hear the music fill your ear, I'll put a flower in your hair...

The highlight of the Orchestra for me was that the tuba player's name was Nimrod Ron.  This is why I'm generally not granted access to these types of events.

After nearly  three weeks abroad, we were definitely ready to come back and mow our two foot tall grass, so we headed back to the airport one last time.  I'm not sure if it was due to Sarah's detainment or because she smells, but she had a weird number appended to her boarding pass and was required to go through extra security in order to leave the country.  While we were separated, I went and got snacks for the plane and waited for her to show up.  When she finally arrived she was in a state of panic as she realized she had lost her passport.

Was I surprised that something like this happened?  Nope.  We've missed flights to Honduras, had the choice to fly to any airport in Norway for the same price and chose the one furthest from Oslo, stayed in an AirBnB 4 hours from the national park we were going to, and earlier on the trip had purchased bus tickets to Stanstead airport for the wrong day.  So this was completely normal.  Eventually she figured out she must have left it in the bathroom, and luckily it was still in there when she went back.  After finally getting home, we only had a few weeks to get our house in order before heading out to Boston for our first baby shower, but that's a story for another blog...

Random GoPros

Book stores are the coolest!

Castlevania... Based on the effort put into taking selfies, I'd say it was more like Castle vainia

Can't you see the sky is not the limit no more?

And if the sun don't shine on me today.  And if the subways flood and bridges break.  Will you just lay down and dig your grave?  Or will you rail against your dying day?

This is why I have a GoPro

With each gift that you share, you may heal and repair.  With each choice you make, you may help someone's day.  Well I know you are strong, may your journey be long.  And now I wish you the best of luck...

God it's good to be alive.

Sarah asked me how my bread bowl was.  I told her it was souper.

You used to call me on my cell phone, late night when you need my love.  Call me on my cell phone, late night when you need my love. I know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing... I know when that hotline bling, that could only mean one thing.  

Sarah and Sean's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps

I'm in trouble now and it cannot wait!  She's ten days late, boy your life got complicated.  But I can't wait to see this through!  She's ten days late!

Anything other than yes is no.  Anything other than stay is go.  Anything less than I love you is lying.  

This sunscreen cost more than 4 meals.  $18 for the tiniest, worst absorbing sunscreen of all times

I never fit in, I don't belong.  But you know that doesn't matter when you feel strong.  Cus I'm a vampire y'all, and we toast the blood of our enemies.

It wouldn't be a trip to another continent without running into Josh.  Literally any continent.  You'll find him.  Where the hell is WaldLowe.

I think about you oh, everywhere I go. And I've done everything and I've been everywhere you know.   I've been fed gold by sweet fools in Abu Dabai.  Oh and I danced real slow with Rockettes on dodgy molly. But I've had no live like your love! From nobody!

I wouldn't fall for a girl I thought couldn't misbehave.  And I want you to know that I've had no love like your love.  At first chance, I'll take the bed warmed by the body and I once warmed my hands upon a burnin Maserati.  Still I've had no love like your love, from nobody!

We've had a lot of adventures, but getting pregnant was by far the best

I found a grey hair in one of my zoots.  Like context in a modern debate, I just took it out....

Instead of calling me out, you should be pulling me in....

Waiting on the day when these words are in stone, when the kids are all grown and we go dancing.  Oh can you do it babe?  Can you love me all the way?  Will you tie me tight in tiny strands of paradise? Will you walk with me before the morning fades?  I'm waiting on the day.

Looking pretty good for being 5 months pregnant!

Cus it's you, oh I always knew.  Oh it's always you, oh baby it's you...And I knew, yes I always knew, yes I always knew, oh baby it's you.

Belgium, Stonehenge, and Normandy

There comes a time in a man's life, in which he has to meet the parents.  Now does a man give hugs, does he bow, does he give his girlfriend's mother a signed, framed photo of himself, does he discuss the many indicators that he is the reincarnation of Enrique Iglesias?  No.  A man plays it cool.  A man keeps his shirt on, a man pretends to be normal.  I mean, can you even imagine introducing your parents to this. Yeah, all of this (motions up and down body).  This is the unfortunate task that Sarah was faced with, when we met her parents in Belgium.  Sarah's parents spent a few days in Paris with her aunt and uncle ahead of meeting us in Bruges, so Sarah had a few days to kibosh my idiotic ideas.

If you take the Eurostar to Belgium, you are required to pass through Brussels.  From there, you have up to 24 hours to catch a train to any other city within the country.  Since we got a free day in Brussels, we decided to stay there for a night and view the city before heading to Bruges.  Upon arriving, we ventured out to the main town square and found a beer festival!  Talk about stereotypes.  We weren't allowed into the main section however, since we had a backpack.  No doubt that was due to the terrorist attacks that have occurred recently.  If only we lived in a world where people didn't resort to violence...

There's a bone in my hand that connects to a drink, on the crowded streets where the glasses clink.  And I'l buy you a beer and we'll drink it in deep, because that keeps me from falling asleep!

In case you were unaware, The Smurfs were created in Belgium!

Similar to Prague, Brussels has a giant clock with interactive figurines.

The door that incepted itself.  A door within a door within a door.

The next morning, we wandered around for a few hours to see some of the main attractions and buy  chocolates for our work friends.  They're so needy!  After completing our shopping, we hopped on a train to Bruges, where there was a cheese and wine festival upon our arrival...I really don't know how we time these things out, it's like the universe wants us to be alcoholics!  However all the old people were scrounging through the cheese tents, like bottom feeders around a dead whale carcass.  Some greedy, old bastard cut in front of me and took the last two pieces of cheese.  These old people have no rules, they don't understand the queue, and they don't respect the cheese.  #StillBitter

After succumbing to the realization I was never going to get any cheese, Sarah and I decided to drown our sorrows in a couple of pints and play some pool.  We had a pretty low key dinner, before retiring back to our hotel for the evening, as I needed my beauty sleep before meeting Sarah's mother.  I mean let's be honest, I need my looks.  All it takes is reading a few lines of this blog to realize I wasn't going to impress them with my personality or charm.

Thank you James and Jules for introducing us to the movie "In Bruges".  If you ever come here, you have to watch it, it's hilarious.

Definitely a tourist town, but it's clean and pretty...And full of life's most important things: Beer and Chocolate.

 I'm so wrapped up in a daze, hoping this is just a phase.  But when all is said and done, I know you are still the one.  You're the only one.  Cupid's bow, it stung.  And now you're the only one...

Sarah's mother had never met a former male model before, so after recovering from her initial daze, we were on our way.  We'd already met via FaceTime, but it was nice to finally meet in person!  We didn't waste any time in getting our tourist on, so we headed to the Historium to get a little history about life in Bruges and soak up the views of the town square.  We spent the rest of the day wandering around, sneaking in cheeky pints, and enjoying the cuisine.  Sarah's parents were also excited to catch up on sleep, as they were staying in a hotel outside of the latin quarter in Paris, where the music blared all night long!  They're lucky I wasn't there with them, because I would have thrown down on those dance floors, and there are some things you simply cannot unsee.

Day two started with a boat trip along the canals and ended with a trip to the chocolate museum, as Belgium, of course, is famous for it's chocolate.  We learned that Belgian chocolate is regulated, based on the percentage of cocoa beans that are used vs. other ingredients, which is likely the reason Belgian chocolate is considered to be some of the best in the world.  I like to mix in these facts from time to time because as many of you know, my blog stands for two things: Providing educational information and respect for women.  Our time in Bruges was limited, however, so after leaving the chocolate museum, we had to make the train journey back to London.

Probably one of the favourite night shots I've taken.  Still can't believe I've had my camera for 3 years now.  It's captures so many amazing memories, it's almost like a travel companion.

This is how you get all your ducks in a row...

I got my eye on you, what you gonna do?

Upon returning to London, I had to go back to work, but Sarah had taken the entire week off to show her parents around.  We also took Sarah's mom to Book of Mormon for her Birthday, which is a must see for anyone!  Now, I'm sure most of you consider me to be a manly man, both for my love of Appletinis and my incredible facial hair, so you can probably understand my tentativeness about how enjoyable a musical was going to be.  But I was dead wrong.  Book of Mormon is effing hilarious, a must-see!  I will never lack faith in a musical being entertaining ever again.  I absolutely loved it.  Sarah also got us all tickets to do a tour of the Buckingham Palace State Rooms, which are only opening during the summer months.  

Often confused for being London Bridge, this is actually Tower Bridge

Taking a sunset cruise along the Thames

It was a good year and a half London.  I shall miss you.

Have I spent at least 30 hours of my life watching some dude with crazy hair talk about Ancient Aliens?  Absolutely I have.  So there comes a time in a man's life when he needs to search for things, Loch Ness Monsters, Bigfoot, Aliens.  That time is always.  Thus we took Sarah's parents on a trip outside of London to Stonehenge, a mythical place created by druids, with a lot of conspiracy theory indicating extraterrestrial assistance.  Now you probably picture Stonehenge as being this really spooky rock structure in the middle of the woods.  Let me reset that picture.  You can literally see cars zipping by a few hundred meters away on the giant highway that runs parallel to it.  It's cool to think about how it was created, but it just wasn't what I imagined.  It also may not have helped that it was bucketing down rain!

After leaving Stonehenge, we headed to the Roman city of Bath, which is known for it's natural hot springs.  It's one of the prettiest cities in England, so it's a must see for anyone that wants a day trip out of London.  Since we were there on a combined bus tour for Stonehenge and Bath, we had about three hours to grab lunch and wander around the city before we had to head back. 

Ancient Aliens baby!

Bath is amazing, definitely one of my favourite cities in England

I convinced Sarah there was a ghost in this photo... It may or may not have just been a projection on the wall...

This is basically what I used to picture when I thought of England.  Now I know better.

After Sarah's parents returned to the U.S., we spent the next four days selling all of our furniture and moving all of our belongings halfway across London, as we had to move out of our flat.  We were on a four day time crunch, because we were going to our friend Chloe's wedding in Normandy that weekend!  There's never any time for rest with us.  Luckily our friends Ian and James were willing to let us crash with them between the time our flat lease ended and when we moved back to America.  Talk about having amazing friends to bail you out!  I owe them more gin and tonics than they can ever consume!

After the wedding, we had no more trips planned... But there comes a Thursday night before your girlfriend's last day at work and it just seems like you should fly her to Budapest afterwards.  But that's a story for another blog...


Random GoPros

The view from the Historium

It's definitely worth taking a canal ride

I didn't realize they were using my calves as moulds for these statues...

 Sarah and Sean's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps

How you doin?

I just have to say you look so god damn good, I give ya crazy mad props, cus I know should...

Such a diva, with the hair flip

If you find a wishing well, something as dreamy as me might just appear.  But I won't wish you well, I'll just give you hell.

It's too close, it's just disturbing.

Listening to the audio guide and getting drenched with Sarah's parents.

My sleepy lady

To wander the world next to you, is all that I could ever do.  So rain, rain go away.  Come again another day.  All the world is waiting for the sun.  Rain, rain go away.  Come again another day.  All the world is waiting for the sun.  

I'd like to think I have everything I want from this life...