The Man That Moved Mountains

It's never easy to say goodbye, but here's a little dedication to my brother for a life well lived.  He told me it warmed his heart to get to spend a few final moments together when we last met.  I can gladly say it warmed my heart to be able to write about so many wonderful moments I had with a man I was lucky enough to have as my brother.  

When I was younger, my brother Ming would always take time off during his summer to hang with me and our other siblings.  We all looked forward to our summer vacations in Indy, getting the chance to fly his airplane, and see what fun activities he had planned.  As a boy you take those moments for granted.  You just assume it's a given that your brother is going to come visit every year because that's what older brothers do.  But then you get older and realize he was willing to sacrifice his vacations to spend time with his younger siblings.  While I spent my 20s being a vagabond and focusing on what I wanted to do, he took his precious free time and spent it with his kid brothers and sisters; Taking us on hikes, giving me the shirt off his back when I inevitably fell a disgusting pond crossing a log on one of said hikes, letting us fly in his Cessna, teaching us the art or frisbee golf, inspiring us to enjoy nature, and inventing stupid Lowe games.  As we all aged, those things have turned into another gift.  The gift of happy memories.

My brother loved to laugh and make others laugh as well.  On top of watching way too many Jim Carrey movies with him, I'm pretty sure 90% of the jokes I have about pooping ones pants are attributed to him. Still to this day I remember some of the jokes, such as the one with the captain who sees three ships approaching and asks for his red shirt.  The next day he sees 5 ships approaching and asks for his red shirt again.  His crewmates ask him, "But captain, why do you need your red shirt?"  "So you don't see me bleed and get scared yourselves" he replies.  A few days later the captain sees 10 ships approaching and says, "Men, bring me my brown pants".   Hopefully I was able to reciprocate and give him some good material for the long flights with his fellow pilots.

Let's also dive into these "Stupid Lowe Games" for a second.  I'm not sure if every family does this, but Ming definitely helped pioneer this phenomenon for us.  If we were in a room with some rubber bands and a paper cup, we would spend hours seeing who can make the most consecutively, from the furthest distance, or via the most ridiculous trick shot.  I think at one point we were banned from using medicine balls after seeing who could balance the longest without falling off while laying on our backs like turtles.  Oh yes, the fear of injury during Stupid Lowe Games was very real.  What's funny is when I look back on all those little things we did to pass the boredom, those are the types of things I want to pass down to my kids as a family tradition.

My brother was also extremely generous to everyone around him.   And when I say generous, I don't just mean in regards to money or paying for meals.  He truly was willing to give his time to whoever needed it.  It's easy to give from your pockets if you have the means to spare, but it truly takes dedication to give your time without any expectation of receiving anything in return.  He was also a man of great faith.  While I never shared the same faith,  I have no doubt that faith, along with his wife and children, helped carry him through the hardest stages of life. His faith gave him so much hope, so much peace, so much focus.  I don't believe he would have been able to fight as long or successfully had it not been for that incredible faith and the support of everyone around him.  

When he could no longer walk on his own or even open a beverage, his only focus was on what he could do for others.  In my last conversation with him he told me that his only means of helping people was to pray for them, so that's what he was going to do.  He kept a notepad with a list of all the prayers he could offer and told me he would pray for the health and happiness of my family and our upcoming baby.  That was just the type of man he was.  He truly lived a life that was devoted to helping others and he inspired hope in all who knew him.  So while his mantra for fighting cancer was to move the mountain, the truth is he was moving so much more.  For he spent a lifetime moving others with his generous heart, great humor and unparalleled determination.  His life was nothing less than a triumph.  So here's to my brother and to a life well lived.

Emmy Lou is a Vagabond Too

I feel my feet sink in the mud as I tentatively open one eye to check my surroundings.  I see nothing but camouflage and necks red from the sun.  I look up at the hill and see Billy 1 and 2.  The air smells like stale Coors Light and petrol.  I shake my head and open both eyes this time as if to wake myself from a dream, but the only thing I see is a man in a sleeveless flannel walking next to another man in a grease stained wife beater.  The effect of all that bacon grease on the human body is demonstrated with each step and corresponding jiggle of his exposed belly.  So where have I found myself this time, surrounded by the red necks and hill Billies?  NASCAR baby.  Where if you ain't first, you're last.

Nascar appeals to the alcoholic in all of us, as each ticket holder is allowed to bring in a cooler full of beer.  Probably because they're hoping if you're drunk enough you won't notice all they do is turn left for three hours.  We went with our friends Eli and Justin, who was a seasoned Nascar attendee.  However, we found that the racing rules didn't really make any sense and there was one dude whose car was like 50% faster than everyone else's, so he just lapped them constantly.

I forced Sarah to watch Days of Thunder to prepare her for Nascar... Days of Thunder was more exciting

Sarah embracing her new life as a race car enthusiast

I was honored Justin invited me to be the first Asian to ever attend a Nascar event

After the exhilaration of watching high speed cars, we decided to take to the skies for Emmy's first flight.  I had been dreading the flight from the moment I even considered booking it.  Luckily we were easing into our first trip by visiting my sister, who already had car seats and strollers, so we were able to travel light.  After years of trying to avoid all children on planes, I was now harboring one of them... The recompense was coming and I will ill prepared.  However, all the parents who were well versed in traveling with their screaming kids welcomed us with open arms.  They knew our pain.  They'd spent years being beaten down and embarrassed by their children. Tick tock, these kids aren't clocks, they are time bombs baby.  Time bomb babies.  And ours was about to go off.

Who doesn't love flying with babies?

Face Off.  It's more than just a Nic Cage movie.

Teach her how to be a rebel Ray

After the stern pep talk I gave Emmy about how I expected more from her the next time we flew, we hopped in my sister's car outside baggage claim and started our first family vacation!  Ray was prepping to become a big brother in a few months, so hanging with Emmy was a good test run to prepare him for his new responsibilities.  I think it's safe to say he was able to entertain an infant with ease, and also showed her what a primordial scream was all about.

My sister had just put in a pool at their house...perks of the Florida life.  Thus we were able to chill out and get Emmy in the water without having to worry too much about her pooping in the pool.  Not because it was a safe environment for that, but because her Uncle Craig never gained the ability to control his bowels during any of the 40 years of his life.  To be fair though, I did shart my pants on the morning of my 32nd birthday.  It's not something I'm proud of, but I do feel it should be disclosed if I'm going to mock another. 

She was really excited to go blueberry picking

It's ok, you can pet the cat Ray.

Apparently Leslee didn't get the memo to look up into the distance

Just a couple of smoothies buying their families smoothies

We were also lucky that our friends Skylar and Jamie were able to drive up from Sarasota to come hang with us.  They were actually catching a flight to go on vacation the same weekend we arrived, but made the round trip the day ahead of their flight to come meet Emmy.  We are lucky to have friends that care so much!  But I mean, she is the cutest baby ever, so it was totally worth it for them.

It was also during this trip that I realized how far my dad bod had fallen.  Not in terms of sheer physicality or looks, but in terms of alcohol tolerance.  Sarah's utter lack of drinking during her pregnancy had led to a decline in my intake and I could no longer keep up with the boys.  I really should have taken better advantage of having the free designated driver for all those months.  Rookie mistake.  I'll do better in the future.

Hip hop mama spic n span, met you one summer and it all began.  You're the best girl that I ever did see, the great Larry Bird, jersey 33.

I don't want anything unless there's you, unless there's you.  I don't want anyone, unless it's you. Unless it's you...

This is the exact pose I used to make when farting.  But that was...before the accident

Our next trip led us to Maine for Sarah's sister's wedding.  This was our first true traveling test as there were multiple legs on our flight plan.  Luckily Sarah had a ton of points built up from traveling for work, so we got free upgrades to First Class.  Obviously my Emmy deserves nothing less.  I'm not sure how excited the other first class passengers were about sitting next to a baby though.  Upon arriving in Bangor, we hung out at Candice and Eric's for a couple nights before making our way down to Camden, where they had made plans to get married.

For those of you that have never been to Maine, I highly recommend visiting it and cruising along the coast.  The state has a ton of wildlife and I'm pretty sure like 80% of it is state/national parks.  We even saw some seals directly from Candice's backyard, which I feel like is kind of surreal.  They rent out half of their house through Airbnb and the daughter of the family that stayed their prior to our arrival actually painted the sunset view from their deck onto a canvas and left it for them with a note about how amazing their time in Maine was.  Sometimes life has those little unexpected moments where one person's expression of joy can be passed on to others.  Definitely something you notice more when you travel, if only because your more open to the unexpected.

Candice and Eric's backyard

Apparently mosquito attacks need to be taken this seriously

Breakfast with Nana and Papa

Emmy also had the pleasure of being spoiled not only by Nana and Papa on this trip, but also by Eric's parents.   Until you have a kid, you don't realize how much joy they bring to everyone around you.  And by everyone around you, I mean all the people that get to hang out and enjoy their cuteness, and not have to wipe diaper cream along their butt cracks after they shit themselves.  Eric was also greatly entertained by my explanation of how we keep Emmy so chill.  Feed her when she's hungry, let her sleep when she's tired, hold her if the other two don't work.  He was like, you do realize you just have the easiest baby ever right?  I didn't tell him the final step that occurs when the other three fail.  Hand the baby to Sarah and get the f out of there.

The wedding was planned to be of the intimate variety with only immediate relatives and former male models in attendance, so we were able to split up into a few different cars and take the drive down the coast to get to Camden.  Eric likes to restore vintage cars, so he and Candice took a classic car down whilst we drove their SUV with Emmy.   Since the wedding was taking place upon the high seas, the captain was monitoring the weather to find a gap in the thunderstorms, so the ceremony would occur during a break in the weather.  Luckily he was a master of his trade and was able to navigate us to a perfect patch of ocean before transitioning over to his second role as wedding official.

Well I'll be your rainy day lover, whenever the sunny days end.  And whatever the weather, we'll have each other and that's how this story will end...

Well I'll be your shade tree in summer, if you'll be my fire when it's cold.  And whatever the season, well we'll keep on breathin, cus we'll have each other to hold.

And I'll hold you and I'll sing... I'm gonna love you forever, I do.  I want to spend all of my days with you.  I'll carry your burdens and be the wind at your back.  Yeah I want to spend my forever like that.

Yeah I'm gonna spend my forever like that

I volunteered to serve as wedding photographer with Sarah as my assistant since we already had a professional camera, multiple lenses and GoPro.  Eric said I was only allowed to take pictures if I had fun doing it, because that was his primary concern for their wedding.  I love taking photos and needed to redeem myself after accidentally slapping Candice's ass in Mexico, so I ensured them I would have fun with it.

It was definitely one of the most unique weddings I've ever had the pleasure of attending.  I love when people have the wedding they want instead of having the wedding that they think is expected of them by others.  Sometimes you just gotta do what makes you happy.   The day after the wedding, we did some souvenir shopping and sightseeing in the nearby towns before heading to Camden Hills State park to check out the views, before starting our journey home.

She was impressed once.  Like, literally just once.

I guess you could say their wedding was a... boat load of fun :)

With my lightning bolts a glowin, I can see where I am going.  With my lightning bolts a glowin, I can see where I am going.  You better look out below!  

2019 was a year of vagabondery, in which we were allowed to leave our houses, so there are still more adventures to write of.  Our next trip involved us getting married, but that's a story for another blog...

Sean and Sarah's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps

People think balding occurs from the stress of having a kid... I can say with confidence, the majority gets ripped out

No one ever plays with me during our family trips, they're always taking naps

Skylar in the background, secretly plotting on how to steal Ray's spiderman suitcase 😂

I used to pick my nose, now I just let her eat my boogers.

Emelianda Jones and the diaper of poo!

Politicians.  Same shit, a different lie. 

Back when she was cute and quiet.  Now she just waves her finger at me and says NO NO NO NO NO NO

You look like you're used to being told that you're trouble....

At least 1 of them is smiling...

Gadzooks dad!  Give me the spoon you big jabroni

What a diva

Cousin fun with Uncle Ming!

She really ruined this photo by not looking into the camera.  I don't feel like it's unreasonable to expect an infant to follow the basic rule of looking at a camera and saying cheese.  #DisappointedDad

People say that your dreams are the only things that can save you.  So come on baby in our dreams, lets live out our misbehavior.  

Emmy Lou and All That is True

To the star of this story, my sweet Emmy Lou
All words that were written, were written for you
I hope when you read this, you'll be drinking a beer
Because if you find this before 21...I have so much to fear

.............

I was sitting at work, looking handsome as ever
Unaware that my life would soon be changing forever!
For Sarah texted, "I have something we need to review"
And I thought to myself, oh no, can it be true?
Did I forget to clear my web browser history!
Did she discover I watched the British Bake Off without thee?
But instead she spoke of putting her pants in the drier
Apparently her water had broken three hours prior!!!
Unconvinced of labor, she just kept on working
Apparently unconcerned that a delivery was lurking

Thus I rushed home, without a moment to waste
And then for 30 minutes I paced and paced...
For Sarah decided she need to wrap up her call
Because obviously with labor, you can just stall!
Finally in the car she started feeling contraction after contraction
And it dawned upon me, I'd be going months without any action!
Dog gone it little baby, I just wanted to get laid
And to you Biology.... Well played

So with calmness in my voice and a storm in my bowels
I prepared myself for the pregnancy howls
But labor is long, yes it starts off quite slow
And they said we still had several hours to go
Before Sarah delivered the one we would call Dip It Lowe
So the doctor told Sarah to order some snacks
And do what she could to relax

When it came to labor, I expected Sarah to be huffin and puffin
Instead she was chowing down on a pregnancy muffin!

As I imagined what our daughter would like like when grown
I looked up and saw Sarah playing a game on her phone
Labor is not as fast and intense as the movies show
So I had to keep waiting for the arrival of little Yo Lowe!
And as we waited, Sarah decided to get an epidural
But it was so terrible that hospital will never get our referral

For Sarah was already fully dilated
And instead of administering, they should have waited
The risk of danger could have been easily abated
I'm also not sure if the anesthetist was closing her eyes
But it took her not one, not two, not three, but four tries!
It's shameful we live in a world where money is first and safety is second
A high cost drug was delivered and no conscience was beckoned

No matter the pain, Sarah's not one to complain
So she pushed and she pushed and she pushed through the strain
While secretly regretting not letting me blare my delivery mix
Which was brilliantly timed for Salt N Peppa's "Push It" at track six
And out of nowhere I could see the baby starting to crown
"Sarah's Crowning Achievement", I had the best pun in town
It's good I keep most thoughts behind my tongue
Otherwise towards my balls, Sarah's fist would have flung

And then the baby came out and made the most god awful noise
UNNNGNGNGUNGNNAHGHGN!! like the most demonic of toys
I thought maybe we should shove her back in and try again later
But Sarah would have hung me from the gallows, a traitor
So instead she pulled that sweet girl close to her chest
Weary from life's greatest test
Knowing that moment was also her best
And that we'd never, ever been so blessed

But sometimes it's not all about snuggles
And the nurses took her away due to breathing struggles
Sometimes in life you hope they never pick you
As our baby girl had to spend her first night in the NICU
Though troubles often come without warning
Luckily most things are better in the morning

And in life when your lungs aren't fillin up
Remember that there's no option for givin up
So you fight because your life is for livin up

At six pounds and one ounce
Like a giraffe did she pounce
when the moon was high
and the darkness was nigh

If you ever want to see how much someone can love another
Just take a glance at this first time mother

Emmy Lou initially came out all gross and covered in goo
But it wasn't long before the NICU had her looking brand new
And we were given a birth certificate to fill out as we please
So Sarah proclaimed her name to be Emelia Louise
That's a bit wordy, I thought. I'll just call her Cheese

And then came the moment I got my first snoop
Inside of her diaper, to see me some poop!
It was black, it was tarry, it made me go ewwwwww!
Just one of the many variations I'd see as she grew
But I digress, my dear Cheese, let's get back to the story
For soon step down was graced with your glory
As those sticky lungs were no longer a worry!

Step down consisted of ten bassinets in a room
With curtains in between for germs to loom
Everyone knows not to propagate germs near new babies
But the girl next curtain's visitors definitely had scabies
As they coughed and sneezed and spread their germs
It took unparalleled restraint not to feed them to worms
Those selfish bastards didn't care about causing harm to the tykes
They just wanted to post photos and get their Instagram likes

Just as we started to hope all the trials were beyond us
The doctor came in and said Emmy had jaundice!
I said damnit doc, I don't speak no Latin
Use real words, cus my brain can't fit that in
So they put her under some special blue lights
To remove excess bilirubin via her shites

Inside her something stirred
For even though she can't speak a word
Emmy Lou communicated by flipping the bird

Wherever you fly, you'll be the best of the best
Where you go, you'll top all the rest
Except when you don't...
Because sometimes you won't
I'm sorry to say so, but sadly it's true
That hang ups and bang ups can happen to you

Just as we thought they'd never let us leave
We finally got to take Emmy home on Christmas Eve!
That place was a prison, with no reprieve
But at least we left with no reason to grieve
Sarah was in tears as we drove our girl home
Happy to finally be alone with her little gnome

And then we got to wake up on Christmas morning
And see the fireplace, the stockings adorning
But through no wrapped boxes did we need to sift
For I was already holding the very best gift
Obviously I'm referring to my hot cup of joe
Which allowed in my bloodstream, some caffeine to flow
Oh crap, I mean the kid, definitely the kid
I forgot her again, ya that's what I did
Like the time at the hospital in that room full of babies
When I just picked one that looked like it didn't have rabies

You need not show any emotion
You already have all of our devotion
I mean you could show some, so we know you're alive
Cus I'm honestly not sure and it's a twenty minute drive

I'm a Cheese, I'm a Cheese, I'm a Cheese Louise
I'm a Cheese, I'm a Cheese, I'm a Cheese Louise
I'm a Cheese, I'm a Cheese, I'm a Cheese Louise
Yeah, my name is Cheese!

Two little ladies sleeping on the couch
One held the other inside of her pouch
A hidden dragon, a tiger waiting to crouch
She pushed her out without saying ouch
A giver of life, of that I can vouch
I am forever more, a grateful slouch

May you always fall asleep before midnight on New Year's Eve
So I don't worry about you being up late with some boy named Steve

If the world is for the meek
Then this mouse is gonna squeek
From the highest peak
To the shallowest creek
There is nowhere she shan't sneak

A tisket, a tasket
A baby in a basket

Twas a log in the water
During your first bath, my daughter

How could I see you and complain
When you look like a lobster from Maine

Oh the hullabaloo
We made over sweet, little you
As day after day, you grew and you grew
And showed me a world I never knew
Never have I experienced such relentless joy
I often wonder if I saw life like this as a boy

It was also during these early days
That I learned to get through life in a daze
For it was difficult to sleep through all the crying
And believe me, I was definitely trying
But there was no rest to be had in our room
No matter how much I dreamed of a sloom

I have no doubt women are the superior gender
From giving birth to being so tender
No matter how tired, they never surrender
But enough tales of my sleeping-in crimes
I'm starting to run out of rhymes
Thus I'll switch to pictures worth more than words
Though Sarah vetoed the ones featuring turds
So we'll just start with a tree and some birds

Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh
A tree constructed by Uncle Josh
Not something bought in a store
He even built a hidden door
The gift of time and effort spent!
When love is sent, you needn't spend a cent
(But Josh smells, so there was a scent)

Peek-a-boo
my Pikachu

Things won't always work the way it should
And fear is a friend that's misunderstood
But I swear that the heart of life is good

Big yawn
little fawn

Does not compute
How can one be so cute

Sometimes in life you will sit in a chair
And people will talk and expect you to stare
And you won't learn a thing because they're so boring
So find something new, yes keep on exploring
Worry not when they speak of what you'll be earning
For it's something else entirely that your soul is yearning

So now my sweet Cheese, let me just shoot the breeze
And give you some advice if you please
I can only hope you'll go further than I ever dreamed
And live a life of happiness that few others gleamed
For the life you lead is yours for the taking
And I'm excited for the story you're already making
Just remember, while I hope your life is full of good times
You will never, ever have my dad rhymes

Listen not to those who tell you who you can't be
They have never dreamed of the life you shall see
And there will be times when you see a sign marked: Beware
But disregarding care, you'll still choose to go there
For sometimes in life, you have to conquer your fear
Or risk getting burnt out in your atmosphere
So never be afraid of the sky your under
Instead, be the lightning that tears the skies asunder
For they shall all just sit back in wonder
Knowing they could never steal your thunder

And may you be oblivious to the possessions you own
Instead think on all the kindness you've been shown
And all the happiness you have known
For before you know it, your time will have flown
And when you look back on the life that you led
I hope there will be only happy memories in your head
Possessions are nice, but they won't take you higher
So when you feel your soul stir, you follow that fire...

And then there was rage
with no button to disengage...

At one month old, what do we see
But a baby as furious as fury can be

At two months old, what do we see?
But a baby that has continued to scream at thee

Ah, but what do we see when the month hits three
But a baby that is filled with glee
So we shall flow a river unto thee
And teeming with smiles shall it ever be

For all that life has unfurled
You've put the color inside of my world

My little girl, there is one thing you'll always know to be true
No one could ever love you more than I do

In our next adventures we strengthened our father-daughter bond

As I taught you the ways of a haggard vagabond

From Orlando to Maine and all in between

In the next blog shall it be seen....

Sean and Sarah's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps

Damn you baby, mom used to be mine
But then you came along with a louder whine

When you get older, I will tell you with dread
It was grandmother that dropped you upon your head
And I'll whip up a story about how I see a dent
And how you used to be....Before the accident

When the whole world fits inside of your arms
Don't really need to pay attention to the alarms...

Your Aunt Candice came to spoil
You feigned a hard life, pretended to toil
But twas not real, when you pretended to struggle
Because you soon entered the land of the snuggle

Oh yes, this feeling you will learn is called dread
It regularly appears when bows are placed upon your head
So around grandmothers should you gently tread
And remember, there's no shame in pretending to be sick in bed!

The Byers Clan welcomed Number One Granddaughter
To whom they were like lambs to the slaughter
For in the stars it was long ago written
That all that cross her path shall be smitten

Twas an exhausting day
when you slept through this 5k
But you still beat Aunt Coryn and Grandma
Though upon finishing, she was more like "Could-Barely-Stand-Ma"

You look as pleased as a spider in Raid
At your very first St. Patty's Parade

Oh the places you'll go
Drifting upon the winds, a feather
Oh the life you will know
In sunshine and turbulent weather
You won't speak of time you're wasting
You'll be laughing at the life your tasting
Dancing upon a ground that's breaking
Knowing the world is for the taking

Your mom is likely to embarass you with stupid faces
So just stare into the void as if you've entered stasis

And will you succeed? Yes, you will indeed
98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed
So be your name Emmy or Bixby or Bray
or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea
You're off to great places, today is your day
Your mountain is waiting, so get on your way...