It's never easy to say goodbye, but here's a little dedication to my brother for a life well lived. He told me it warmed his heart to get to spend a few final moments together when we last met. I can gladly say it warmed my heart to be able to write about so many wonderful moments I had with a man I was lucky enough to have as my brother.
When I was younger, my brother Ming would always take time off during his summer to hang with me and our other siblings. We all looked forward to our summer vacations in Indy, getting the chance to fly his airplane, and see what fun activities he had planned. As a boy you take those moments for granted. You just assume it's a given that your brother is going to come visit every year because that's what older brothers do. But then you get older and realize he was willing to sacrifice his vacations to spend time with his younger siblings. While I spent my 20s being a vagabond and focusing on what I wanted to do, he took his precious free time and spent it with his kid brothers and sisters; Taking us on hikes, giving me the shirt off his back when I inevitably fell a disgusting pond crossing a log on one of said hikes, letting us fly in his Cessna, teaching us the art or frisbee golf, inspiring us to enjoy nature, and inventing stupid Lowe games. As we all aged, those things have turned into another gift. The gift of happy memories.
My brother loved to laugh and make others laugh as well. On top of watching way too many Jim Carrey movies with him, I'm pretty sure 90% of the jokes I have about pooping ones pants are attributed to him. Still to this day I remember some of the jokes, such as the one with the captain who sees three ships approaching and asks for his red shirt. The next day he sees 5 ships approaching and asks for his red shirt again. His crewmates ask him, "But captain, why do you need your red shirt?" "So you don't see me bleed and get scared yourselves" he replies. A few days later the captain sees 10 ships approaching and says, "Men, bring me my brown pants". Hopefully I was able to reciprocate and give him some good material for the long flights with his fellow pilots.
Let's also dive into these "Stupid Lowe Games" for a second. I'm not sure if every family does this, but Ming definitely helped pioneer this phenomenon for us. If we were in a room with some rubber bands and a paper cup, we would spend hours seeing who can make the most consecutively, from the furthest distance, or via the most ridiculous trick shot. I think at one point we were banned from using medicine balls after seeing who could balance the longest without falling off while laying on our backs like turtles. Oh yes, the fear of injury during Stupid Lowe Games was very real. What's funny is when I look back on all those little things we did to pass the boredom, those are the types of things I want to pass down to my kids as a family tradition.
My brother was also extremely generous to everyone around him. And when I say generous, I don't just mean in regards to money or paying for meals. He truly was willing to give his time to whoever needed it. It's easy to give from your pockets if you have the means to spare, but it truly takes dedication to give your time without any expectation of receiving anything in return. He was also a man of great faith. While I never shared the same faith, I have no doubt that faith, along with his wife and children, helped carry him through the hardest stages of life. His faith gave him so much hope, so much peace, so much focus. I don't believe he would have been able to fight as long or successfully had it not been for that incredible faith and the support of everyone around him.
When he could no longer walk on his own or even open a beverage, his only focus was on what he could do for others. In my last conversation with him he told me that his only means of helping people was to pray for them, so that's what he was going to do. He kept a notepad with a list of all the prayers he could offer and told me he would pray for the health and happiness of my family and our upcoming baby. That was just the type of man he was. He truly lived a life that was devoted to helping others and he inspired hope in all who knew him. So while his mantra for fighting cancer was to move the mountain, the truth is he was moving so much more. For he spent a lifetime moving others with his generous heart, great humor and unparalleled determination. His life was nothing less than a triumph. So here's to my brother and to a life well lived.
