There comes a time in a man's life when he no longer has enough money to go gallivanting around the world. So what's he going to do? Stay in one place? Heck no. He's going to put a crap ton of petrol in his car and see what his country has to offer. I'm talking about a great American road trip!!! One Friday afternoon, Sarah got the go ahead to book travel for a go-live event in Wyoming the following Monday. Option one was for her to fly there. Option two was for us to spend the next three days driving there. We went for option two. So ninety minutes later, we loaded up our SUV and started driving north. 5.5 hours and 370 miles later, we went from Kansas to Missouri to Iowa to Nebraska to a budget hotel in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Oh yeah, living it up! Five states a day keeps the travel itch away.
We didn't really know anything about Sioux Falls, we basically just stopped there so we could sleep for the night, but when we awoke the next morning, we figured we might as well check out the falls that the city is named after. I didn't think they would be anything special, but luckily my pessimistic attitude was proven wrong.
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| People always ask me what the best places to visit are... All of them. Go see it all. |
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| The human head weighs 11 pounds, not 8 like that little shit in Jerry Maguire claimed. That doesn't really have anything to do with this blog, I just felt like it was the elephant in the room and someone had to say something. |
The main attractions in South Dakota are the Badlands National Park and Mt. Rushmore. However, I feel that one of the most attractive things about South Dakota is the combination of having hardly any traffic and a speed limit of 80 mph. It's America, there's no autobahn damn it. It's the fastest we're allowed to go! The Badlands can be accessed right off the main interstate through a series of scenic byways. It costs $20 per vehicle to enter, but we purchased a National Parks pass earlier in the year, which provides free entry into all U.S. National Parks for an entire year. If you plan on making 4 National Park visits per year, it pays for itself, plus you get discounts on some campgrounds in National Forests!
For those unfamiliar with the Badlands, it's probably the type of landscape you'd picture if someone mentioned the wild, wild west. There are massive canyons, crazy rock formations, multi-colored dirt mounds, large grasslands, crazy winds, wild pack animals, and desert like heat. And when you put someone as hot as me in a desert like environment...Well, it essentially became an inferno for everyone else. I'm not sure there were any survivors.
As you drive through the park, there are several scenic outlooks and hiking trailheads to explore. Since it was so hot and I was worried about getting split ends, we decided to stop at every other lookout and do some shorter hikes. I've seen some amazing places along my journeys, but outside of New Zealand, I'm not sure I've seen a place where the landscapes change so rapidly or dramatically. I would have loved to camp out for a night and see the stars spiraling through the sky. It's an incredible, must-see part of the U.S.
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| If this photo doesn't make you long for the open road, there's something wrong with you. |
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| Tell me that rock doesn't look like a rabbit's head. I would make the best City Slickers style map of the Badlands. I would lead you to Curly's gold. |
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| Tell me did you sail across the sun? Did you make it to the Milky Way to see the lights are faded and that heaven is overrated? Tell me, did you fall for a shooting star, one without a permanent scar? And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there? |
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| But tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet? Did you finally get the chance to dance along the light of day, and head back to the Milky Way? Tell me, did Venus blow your mind? Was it everything you wanted to find and did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there? |
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| I'm not fully convinced this is even Earth |
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| Oh the places I've gone Dr. Seuss. Oh the places I've gone. |
Advertisements for Wall Drug are plastered across hundreds (possibly billions?) of billboards as you drive through the state, so even though we expected it would be a complete waste of time, we decided to stop there for some ice cream upon leaving the Badlands. I would definitely recommend skipping Wall Drug, but ice cream is delicious, so I'm calling it a wash. Our next stop was Mt. Rushmore, which is at the very opposite end of the state from where we began in the morning.
I don't really get fired up about Mt. Rushmore, to me it's more of an iconic pop culture thing that's referenced in a lot of movies and tv shows, but I don't think it's anything spectacular. However, I do think the fact that they carved the President's faces by using controlled explosions of dynamite is the most American way you can complete that task. Who needs finesse when you can blow shit up? After roaming around Rushmore and driving 500ish miles all over the state of South Dakota, we decided to grab a few beers and rest in Rapid City for the night. The other Dakota, North Dakota, is a state you would probably never go to unless you were already in the area, so we kind of had to go, right? Ergo, the next morning we embarked on the 250ish mile journey to Theodore Roosevelt National Park in Medora, North Dakota. Oh yeah!!!!!
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| Cassandra; She's a fox. In French she would be called "La Renarde"and she would be hunted, with only her cunning to protect her. She's a babe. She's a robo-babe. In Latin, she would be called "Babia Majora". If she were a president, she'd be Babe-raham Lincoln... |
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| Yeah that's right. I saw Mt. Rushmore and I didn't think "Oh wow, what a wonderful tribute to our country". I thought: "Wayne's World, Excellent!" |
Theodore Roosevelt National Park follows a pretty similar set up to it's Badlands brother, with a scenic loop road that winds through the entire park, with offshoot trails and outlooks all over the place. The landscape is generally pretty similar, but the park feels much more open. This is largely due to the fact that there are way less tourists, so you basically get to enjoy all the beautiful scenery of the Badlands and Great Plains, but without the annoying tourists. Yes, if there is one thing I've learned from writing this blog, it's that I truly have a Larry David-esque aversion to other humans.
Overall, I would say it's one of the better National Parks we've been to. The majority of hiking trails have little pamphlets that provide cliff notes on the geography, wildlife, and the history of the area. One of the biggest draws though is simply how peaceful it is. We easily went 30-40 minutes without seeing other people on multiple trails, which was perfect for the landscape. You want to feel like you're in this beautiful, desolate spot that showcases the natural splendor that our world once contained...Before we shrouded it in smog.
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| Roam free my friends. Roam free. |
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| One of the many places I have time-lapsed, but not compiled yet... I'm only 2 years and 60ish time lapses behind. |
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| This morning, there's a calm I can't explain. It's like the rock canyons melted and there's only diamonds now for me... |
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| The Painted Canyons can be seen from a free rest stop a few miles outside the park. There are also a few hiking trails that will take you into the canyons if you like to explore like us! |
After spending the day exploring the park and the nearby Painted Canyons, we decided to just suck it up and drive another 6 hours and 350 miles to Sheridan, Wyoming. Along the way, we passed through an insane lightning storm in Montana, that featured 60 mph winds, torrential rain, and booming thunder. The lightning strikes were so powerful that they smite two hillsides, leaving them completely black and smoking. If the rain wasn't so torrential, that whole field would have caught fire. Luckily we made it through the storm and eventually arrived at our budget hotel around midnight, where we were greeted by a grumpy woman in her pajamas. I don't even know that I've seen someone more disheveled when staying in a hostel. It was pretty remarkable.
We spent Monday through Friday working in Wyoming, checking out the local restaurants and frequenting the local brewery. Sheridan also has a "Third Thursday" street festival every month, which happened to coincide with our visit, so we were able to have quite a bit fun during our evenings there. After Sarah wrapped up her work on Friday afternoon, we began our 180ish mile drive through Big Horn National Forest to our Airbnb that was on the outskirts of a town called Thermopolis.
Sarah selected this Airbnb because, from a map, it appears to be about 50 miles from both Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Parks. But as it turns out, 50 miles on a map, does not account for the fact that there are only so many roads that were constructed to drive through mountain ranges. So...It turned out our Airbnb was on a pothole filled gravel road about forty five minutes outside of the city center of Thermopolis... And it was roughly 3 hours and 180 miles from the Thermopolis to Grand Teton...So instead of being an hour away in her mind, we were actually staying 4 hours away from both Grand Teton and Yellowstone. If there's anything I've learned over the past few years though, it's probably somehow my fault she picked that Airbnb. So I'll just take half the blame for not double checking her selection.
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| We literally just drove past this on a scenic byway... Wyoming is just absurdly picturesque. |
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| If you could go anywhere at all.... Where should I meet you? |
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| I wonder why they named them the Grand Tetons. I feel like Big Teeties would have been much catchier. |
When reading my blog, I can only imagine my mother has two thoughts. Did some school honestly give him a degree? And why does he feel the need to share his thoughts with the world? No one knows the answer to either. After having a picnic lunch in Teton and hiking around for a few hours, we decided to head up towards Yellowstone, because the parks are actually connected by a mini highway once you are inside the park area. Yellowstone is massive, with an outer loop that is almost 150 miles long. We knew we wouldn't have time to see it all in one day, so we tried to do the bottom part of the loop, with plans to visit the grand loop the next day.
So after doing the smaller loop on day one and seeing Old Faithful and a few other spots, we headed back to our AirBnb, which was a solid 3.5 hours away from the East Entrance of Yellowstone. The next morning, we woke up early to make the 3.5 hour back to where we had been the previous day, so we could go finish the rest of the loop. On day two, we hit up everything else that was left, including a natural bridge, mud volcanoes, the Grand Caynon of Yellowstone, and Mammoth Hot Springs. From ending in Mammoth, it was about 5 hours to get back to our Airbnb for the last time. As you can tell from my writing, I'm advising you to never stay that far away from the park. Stay in one of the outskirt towns 30 minutes from the entrance if the campsites inside are all full (which they probably will be). We probably spent an extra 12-15 hours driving over 2 days, which cut down the time we had to spend in the park significantly.
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| Question. What kind of bear is best? False. Black Bear. Fact: Bears Eat Beats. Bears. Beats. Battlestar Galactica. |
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| It looks like these trees didn't have trouble reproducing. They clearly had no issues getting wood. They are very erect. And yes, that is me poking mother nature with some boner puns. |
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| And there's a warm, wet hole for that wood to... Damnit Sean, keep it together. This is a classy, sophisticated blog. Get a hold of yourself. |
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| Old Faithful |
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| My great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather, Ghengis Sean, would have had to climb this mountain on his daily three hour hike to and from school a child. Now I just drive a box of metal 60 mph straight through it. |
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| In the summertime when the weather is high, you can stretch right up and touch the sky. When the weather's fine you got women, you got women on your mind. Have a drink, have a drive. Go out and see what you can find. |
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| We're always happy; Life's for living - ya that's our philosophy. Sing along with us, didi dididi, dada dadada. Yeah were hap-happy. |
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| We were hoping to see a bear, but Beverly the Beaver was the most ferocious animal we crossed paths with! Just look at that face, you can tell she's ruthless. |
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| Traffic through Yellowstone tends to be.... slow moving |
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| Finally! A mud volcano that wasn't a result of me being food poisoned... Wow this really is the least classy blog I've written in ages. |
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| Mountains, plains, forests, lakes, host springs, mud volcanoes, waterfalls, a grand canyon, the fact that it's all a giant volcano... Definitely one of the most incredible places I've been lucky enough to see. |
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| Mammoth Hot Springs |
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| I kinda feel like this is the rock from the Lion King. Right?!?! One of the cool things we got to see because we stayed so far away from the park. |
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| Jimmy!!! |
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| Someday when I'm old and rich, I'm gonna take trains all over the Western half of the U.S.... Na, let's be honest, I'm still gonna be a cheap bastard. I'll take the bus. |
Twas a great time, but all good times must come to an end, so the following morning we woke up at 7 AM and started the long drive home. We initially planned to split the 14.5 hour, 980 mile drive up across two days, but once we got driving we just wanted to finish it off. We were both so sick of driving that the thought of spending another day in the car when we could be spending it in our comfy bed was too much to take! So all in all we traversed 8 states (Kansas, Missouri, Iowa, Nebraska, South Dakota, North Dakota, Montana, and Wyoming), drove over 3500 miles, and still wanted to do another roadtrip later that summer... But that's a story for another blog.
Random GoPros
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| Well it seemed like yesterday, when the world was looking dark, it was so cold and grey. Why the hell am I even here? What's the purpose? All I feel is guilt and hate and fear. oh-oh |
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| Til that day you came along, my heart was empty like the soul that's missing from a song. And I thought I'd loved a few, yeah. But no one ever made me feel the way that you do. |
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| Now little girl, look what you do. Oh I love you. Hey little girl, oh I love you. Hey little girl, look what you do... And you do. Hey little girl, oh I love you. |
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| The Tetons rising over the water. |
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| From the cliffs and the highest hills, we would gladly get our fills, howling endlessly and shrilly at the dawn. And I lost the taste for judging from wrong. |
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| But now my fur has turned to skin and I've been quickly ushered in, into a world I confess I do not know. But I still dream of running careless through the snow... |
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| If I post a photo with words on it, do I still have to write a caption? I can only reference so many songs and write so many puns. |
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| I just kept dreaming, I just kept dreaming. It wasn't very hard. And I just kept going, I just kept going. I spent all this time, trying to find my way here. And I've been having myself a real good time, and it feels so nice, to know I'm gonna be alright... |
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| I can only imagine what this place would look like on drugs. Not that I would ever do shrooms ma. But let's be honest, it'd be terrifying. |
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| I feel so homesick, but where's my home? Where I belong? Where I was born? Now I was told to go where the wind did blow... And it blows me away.... Yeah, it blows me away |
Sarah and Sean's Sensational Stockpile of Snappy Snaps
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| My American Flag sunglasses! $1 at Sears! |
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| If you piss me off, I'll bite you |
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| I am unwritten, can't read my mind. I'm undefined. I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand. Ending unplanned... |
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| The universal response to this photo has been...Why couldn't she just have pushed a little harder? |
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| Sometimes you just need that primal scream to remind yourself that this life is yours for the taking. |
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| People always think I lead this crazy life and have all these great adventures.... But honestly, I'm a pretty average guy when compared to other former male models with genius level IQs. |
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| How dare you try and shove me off a cliff!!!!! |
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| This was the night Sarah won bingo at a local brewery. She refers to it as the greatest thing that's ever happened to her. Don't mind me sitting over here.... |
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| I come from a long line of sasquatches. It's why I'm so sassy. |
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| Release your inhibitions, feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you, only you can let it in. No one else, no one else can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken, live your life with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins, the rest is still unwritten... |
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| Until next time Yellowstone, until next time... |
